V1710... I completely understand, when we first came into the org, it was structured in a way that was controlling and army like, and to us we never really got out of that mental frame, so coming in being told what to do in a way pleased us, as it was difficult making decisions as they were always made for us by the control freaks within the institutions.
After awhile when I realised I could actually think for myself, I became very confused and my faith was starting to crack, bit by bit. I left a few times, and when I came back I could actually see it for what it was. Stunted by mental growth because of lack of education and no free will within in the institutions took a long time for me to see the reality.
Though I still believe in the doctrines and aspects of the preaching work, it is the structure and unloving arrangement of the org and its RULERS (1cor 4:8) that helped me get the strength to find out more about the organization, though careful of what I do read because I have become a free thinker, I can pick throught the bull and the truth, so one things for sure, the org has become corrupt.