Posts by tenyearsafter

65

Disfellowshipped but still forced to pay maintenance or alimony

by Markw1509 in

can i ask for your opinion?

i have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years.

my ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me.

tenyearsafter

Justitia Themis - In California, if you have been married over 10 years, you are still subject to open-ended spousal support, regardless of who filed. It is based on income, and the higher earner will pay the the lower or non-earner. CA uses a progam, called Dissomaster, that calculates support in a dispassionate, automated way. This spousal support typically doesn't end until the the receiving spouse re-marries or dies. This is in addition to the 50-50 property split that is automatic in a community property state like CA. You might be able to exclude property you brought in to the marriage, but good luck with that...CA is such a liberal state they will typically rule co-mingling of property after a period of time, and include it as community property. I know this from personal experience, and I am not unique. My best friend's wife cheated on him, divorced him, and he ended up paying her $7000 a month in alimony and child support. After taxes and support payments, he was left to live on less than $1000 a month...love the fairness there! I was in a similar boat, but my ex had the decency to remarry and that stopped the alimony. My child support was half of my total payments, and I gladly paid that for my kids and more.

MikeW - I am sorry I digressed, but I am still a bit bitter over the divorce laws here in CA. My ex had no problem taking my money, and in fact, wanted more! The only time she talked to me was when she wanted something. I don't think that type of behavior is unique to JW's...most estranged couples have that type of relationship. Even though I have tremendous empathy for you, I don't see where being DF'ed and shunned has any bearing on whether your ex should accept your money. I would have fought the withholding of contact with your daughter...that is despicable on your ex's part, and I would have gone to court to fight any effort to keep my kids from me. I hope things improve for you, and you can get this behind you and reconcile with your daughter. I never even think of the ex any longer, and my kids and I have a great relationship, so there is hope!

11

In Response to a Dare from Besty, Dagney and Aude

by DNCall in

http://s1123.photobucket.com/user/dncall/media/photo.jpg.html?sort=3&o=0.

besty made a business trip to california last week.

naturally, i had to get together with him.

tenyearsafter

Great picture...DNC, we are back in So CA the 7th-11th...any free evenings?...email me if yes.

46

What are the buzz words or trigger for JWs?

by UBM101 in

i read steve hassan's book and he mentioned about buzz words or triggers that call out the cult personality of a victim of mind controlling cult.

when you were in, what triggered you?.

tenyearsafter

happifying...evidently...Man of Lawlessness...Faithful and Discreet Slave...bless you...good luck...spiritually weak

19

JW MECCA!!!! ANY THOUGHTS?!?!

by DATA-DOG in

so...the wife wants to go to new york.

she wants to visit the holy land and see the new bible museum.

( sorry, trying not to vomit..) do you have any idea what it costs to fly to ny and get a room?

tenyearsafter

Look on the bright side...NYC is a great place with lots of fantastic restaurants, theaters and "worldly" museums...just plan those in along the way!

19

JW MECCA!!!! ANY THOUGHTS?!?!

by DATA-DOG in

so...the wife wants to go to new york.

she wants to visit the holy land and see the new bible museum.

( sorry, trying not to vomit..) do you have any idea what it costs to fly to ny and get a room?

tenyearsafter

D-D...give them time!! Maybe they will start selling "Theocratic" candles to burn as well...

32

Why does it matter?

by tenyearsafter in

jw
friends

i have been on this forum for a number of years now, and one thing that seems to be a persisting theme is the "battle" between atheists and believers.. what i have not understood is the extent to which the supporters of either side engage in showing their position to be the correct one...and in turn debunking and demeaning the opposing position, or in many cases, insulting the intelligence of the holder of opposing belief.

i guess the simple question is, why?

does it really matter, or cause harm to be a supporter of either side of the coin?

tenyearsafter

tootired2care - Well said!

EdenOne - I agree...believer or not, intelligence shouldn't be judged by personal beliefs.

Hortensia - Yep, critical thinking is important...and challenging questions done in a respectful way are ok with me. People need to keep it civil, as you will rarely persuade someone by insulting or demeaning them!

32

Why does it matter?

by tenyearsafter in

jw
friends

i have been on this forum for a number of years now, and one thing that seems to be a persisting theme is the "battle" between atheists and believers.. what i have not understood is the extent to which the supporters of either side engage in showing their position to be the correct one...and in turn debunking and demeaning the opposing position, or in many cases, insulting the intelligence of the holder of opposing belief.

i guess the simple question is, why?

does it really matter, or cause harm to be a supporter of either side of the coin?

tenyearsafter

tootired2care (love the name!) - I agree when it stays civil, interesting and a discussion. I also agree that certain elements on the religious right (Christians, Muslims, etc.) try to force society to accept their world view. Interestingly, there are also extremists on the Atheist side such as The Freedom From Religion movement that try and force feed their world view. I guess what I find interesting is that the majority of us broke free of condemnatory mind control by leaving the WTS. We all were guilty of looking down on anyone who didn't have the "Truth", yet many of us still engage in that type of behavior in whatever our "new" belief or non-belief system might be by looking down on the opposing view point. Again, I agree the discussion is important.

32

Why does it matter?

by tenyearsafter in

jw
friends

i have been on this forum for a number of years now, and one thing that seems to be a persisting theme is the "battle" between atheists and believers.. what i have not understood is the extent to which the supporters of either side engage in showing their position to be the correct one...and in turn debunking and demeaning the opposing position, or in many cases, insulting the intelligence of the holder of opposing belief.

i guess the simple question is, why?

does it really matter, or cause harm to be a supporter of either side of the coin?

tenyearsafter

Prologos - I understand that truth is reality, but if a person wants to believe in what you percieve to be a fantasy, why would it matter if they aren't harming others or engaging in negative or condescending comments about the opposing view?

OTWO - I tend to be more like you and take a moderate point of view. I agree that zealots of either persuasion are going to go on their self appointed crusades...and JW's are typical of that mind set, and the reason I didn't include the extremes in my question. I understand this is a discussion board, but it often tends to deteriote in to an insult forum. I enjoy reading the comments and thoughts of our posters, but I get turned off when it degrades to name calling.

32

Why does it matter?

by tenyearsafter in

jw
friends

i have been on this forum for a number of years now, and one thing that seems to be a persisting theme is the "battle" between atheists and believers.. what i have not understood is the extent to which the supporters of either side engage in showing their position to be the correct one...and in turn debunking and demeaning the opposing position, or in many cases, insulting the intelligence of the holder of opposing belief.

i guess the simple question is, why?

does it really matter, or cause harm to be a supporter of either side of the coin?

tenyearsafter

I have been on this forum for a number of years now, and one thing that seems to be a persisting theme is the "battle" between Atheists and Believers.

What I have not understood is the extent to which the supporters of either side engage in showing their position to be the correct one...and in turn debunking and demeaning the opposing position, or in many cases, insulting the intelligence of the holder of opposing belief. I guess the simple question is, why? Does it really matter, or cause harm to be a supporter of either side of the coin? I am not talking about harmful cults, but moderate people of either leaning.

I am sure that Believers will say that they are charged with sharing the Gospel to help save non-believers from an eternal judgment, but putting that aside, why would it matter that someone is an Atheist or Agnostic? Conversely, why would Atheists care if someone is a Believer (again, not a cultist).

I would be interested in hearing from those that feel compelled to set the other side straight as to why they feel that is so important.

12

What does the fox say?

by oppostate in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbwcwh1giqo.

tenyearsafter

Ear worm!!