I have been where you are, was head over heels in love with a guy who had very recently left the JWs. I went through a lot of pain, finally managed to move on, and now I have met my future husband, who is a dedicated Christian like myself. God has a plan for you, He only wants the best for you, and He has the right man lined up for you. You just need to trust Him.
Posts by crazy
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17To soon to hope?
by Wendy_Warden inso yeah--i've been riding the same train of i'm-in-love-with-a-jw for about two years now.
i've said in previous posts (posted a long time ago) that he wanted me to convert.
he never said so out right but his habit of linking our conversations to the wt convinced me that it was important to him.. well, i tried to let everything drop for a long time and didn't really keep in contact.
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11
They will take every opportunity
by crazy ini thought this was funny.
my son's dad (we are not together but on good terms) is a coach driver.
he has just taken a group of jws on an outing to london.
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crazy
I thought this was funny. My son's dad (we are not together but on good terms) is a coach driver. He has just taken a group of JWs on an outing to London. He said they were friendly and they gave him a good tip, but they also gave him a copy of the "What does the Bible really teach?" book. I am sure he will have lots of fun reading it! Apparently, they were impressed with his service and said they will be asking for him specifically for their next trip. They just never miss an opportunity to hand out the literature.
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2
What is going on here?
by crazy inright, this is the story.
i got involved with an ex-jw who had only just da'd.
the relationship did not last and i put it down to the baggage he was carrying from all his years as a jw and a bad marriage to a jw and so i tried to make allowances for him.
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crazy
Right, this is the story. I got involved with an ex-JW who had only just DA'd. The relationship did not last and I put it down to the baggage he was carrying from all his years as a JW and a bad marriage to a JW and so I tried to make allowances for him. We broke up, but he stayed in touch with a good friend of mine, who I have known for many years. She and I were very close. At first I thought he was staying in touch as it was indirect contact with me. Also, she knew I loved him, I told her everything about how I was feeling. He had another brief relationship, but it didn't work and he got in touch, saying that he still loved me. We decided to be friends, to see how that went. I then thought that my friend wanted to help us to see whether we may be able to get back together again.
However, the two of them started spending a lot of time together alone (she is married with a young child, but I know that she has problems within her marriage). She also was not telling me about this time that they were spending together. The things they are doing together do not seem right for a single man and a married woman and they seemed very cosy when they were together.
I spoke to him about this (which, admittedly, maybe I shouldn't have done) and he has said that he wouldn't have a problem having a relationship with her if he knew her marriage was not working. I have not spoken to her about my concerns, but it is obvious that they have each repeated things i said to them to the other, but neither of them has told me anything the other has said about me.
She was here the other day and things were a little tense between us and he sent me a nasty text regarding this. The only way for him to know anything had happened was if she had spoken to him behind my back. I spoke to her about this text and she admitted she had contacted him. I told her I was hurt that she had gone behind my back and I told her I thought this guy was an idiot. I did not say I thought there was something going on between them, although he is sure to have told her that I spoke to him about it. I said I would give her some time to think about what I had said and to contact me to let me know whether she wanted to try to work things out and save our friendship. It has been a few days and she has not got back to me.
Have I made too many allowances for this guy's JW past? Does this have nothing to do with that and everything to do with the fact that he is just messing us both about? I don't care about what happens to this man now. He is not the important one in all of this. What I do want is to save my long-term friendship and I don't want my friend to get hurt. What can I do? Have I got this all wrong? I really care about my friend, even though she has hurt me, be it knowingly or otherwise.
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7
I think this is progress
by crazy inbefore i go any further i would like to thank all the people who responded to my two previous posts to offer support, advice and guidance.
my ex-jw ex is now back in my life.
i really was prepared to move on, but somehow he is back.
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crazy
Thanks for all your comments. It is all encouraging. I am happy to accept prayers from Christians and non-Christans and "warm thoughts" or anything else you wish to give from anyone here. Thanks for any and all support.
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7
I think this is progress
by crazy inbefore i go any further i would like to thank all the people who responded to my two previous posts to offer support, advice and guidance.
my ex-jw ex is now back in my life.
i really was prepared to move on, but somehow he is back.
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crazy
Hi. Before I go any further I would like to thank all the people who responded to my two previous posts to offer support, advice and guidance. My ex-JW ex is now back in my life. I really was prepared to move on, but somehow he is back. Can't seem to get rid ot him though I did genuinely try. lol We are talking much more openly than ever before, as we have decided to be just friends for now. I do not know whether that will ever change and am happy to accept it. He is getting some counselling now, which seems to be helping him, to deal with issues, both JW and non-JW related.
Anyway, as I said we are talking more openly. He has said he talks with his daughter about birthdays and all these things and they went to the birthday party of his friend's son the other day and had cake and everything. The biggest thing though is that he said that his ex-wife is having doubts about the JWs. I am so excited about the prospect of his daughter possibly having a "normal" childhood. (sorry, couldn't think of a better word, though sure someone will come up with one for me). I do realise that this may be the start of a very long, slow process and nothing will change overnight, but it is a start.
For those on the forum who are Christians, please include us in your prayers. I believe very strongly in the power of prayer.
Thanks to everyone.
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5
God must really hate me
by crazy inwell, i listened to all your advice and thought i was starting to move on, but i have just found out he has met someone else and my whole world has fallen apart again.
i haven't even told my son we have split up.
he is still waiting for him to come home from work!
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crazy
Well, I listened to all your advice and thought I was starting to move on, but I have just found out he has met someone else and my whole world has fallen apart again. I haven't even told my son we have split up. He is still waiting for him to come home from work! I think I have screwed my son up totally. He cries and is clingy and doesn't want to go to nursery, which he used to love. I have got an old friend texting me who I knew years ago when I was at school. He wants to come to my church and I think he likes me, but his girlfriend is expecting his baby in December. I am still so much in love with my ex-JW ex and I can't let go.
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15
broken hearted
by crazy inbefore i go any further i have to confess that i am a non-jw.
i hope you all don't mind too much.
i am very much in love with an ex-jw but i think i have screwed up big time and lost him.
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crazy
Thank you to you all for making me feel welcome and for taking the time to offer your support and advice. I welcome all the comments and certainly have a lot to think about it.
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15
broken hearted
by crazy inbefore i go any further i have to confess that i am a non-jw.
i hope you all don't mind too much.
i am very much in love with an ex-jw but i think i have screwed up big time and lost him.
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crazy
No I am not saying he wants to abandon his daiughter. His daughter is everything to him. I think he is very confused about the fact that she will be brought up as a JW and whether he wants this or not. I think he just wants to leave everything to do with the JWs behind, but I think that his daughter still being in it will make that harder. I think his mum still being JW will make it harder too. She wanted him to go to the Memorial this year, but he didn't.
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15
broken hearted
by crazy inbefore i go any further i have to confess that i am a non-jw.
i hope you all don't mind too much.
i am very much in love with an ex-jw but i think i have screwed up big time and lost him.
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crazy
I also just said to him that we would have issues to deal with when his daughter was old enough to start asking questions, and that neither he nor I had any control over that.
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15
broken hearted
by crazy inbefore i go any further i have to confess that i am a non-jw.
i hope you all don't mind too much.
i am very much in love with an ex-jw but i think i have screwed up big time and lost him.
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crazy
I feel a bit bad about talking about him behind his back, but he has only left the WTS a few months ago and I think he fells he is completely over his time in it but he is still very much in the JW mindset, or at least from what I can gather from what I have found out about the JWs. I have never actually experienced it and you guys have, so I was hoping for some advice on how best to deal with and approach things. I think I have made a big mistake because I am a Christian and I told him that I felt I was having to make allowances because of his daughter being brought up JW, such as not mentioning birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc. I also told him how much it hurt me when he asked me to take off the cross I was wearing when we picked up his daughter from her mother's. I sort of feel like the enemy all the time and I hope this won't seem insulting to those of yo who have been real victims of the Watchtower, but I felt that it was starting to control my life. I think my mistake tho was telling him this. Perhaps I should have just bitten my tongue and been patient? What do you think?