I know in my JW family it is very frowned upon. Last year I was at a family reunion and my aunts and uncles (all non JW) decided to visit the grave of the one sibling that had passed. Of course, my dad refused to go and I thought it made him look like quite the A$$! Of course, he has always refused to attend any funeral or wedding held anywhere but the KH or outside. I grumbled a lot at my mom making it known my thoughts on how ridiculous it was that he just didn't go and support his siblings.
Namaste
JoinedPosts by Namaste
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19
Do witnesses visit loved ones grave sites?
by NotaNess incurious about that one.
were visiting my wifes family in new orleans this week, and she brought up going see her relatives graves.
if they do how does the experience differ from a non-witness.
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Namaste
I only started 3 years ago after being out for 8 years. It didn't matter to me until my son was born and then I wanted to have fun with it.
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Saying 'goodbye' on the phone. US style?
by ThomasCovenant ini can't help but have noticed that the us tv and film industry more than not portray phone conversations finishing without any 'goodbyes'.
someone will say, for example, 'see you at the mall' then put down the phone.. is this a reflection of the norm in us land or just filming priorities of time and money?.
thomas covenant.
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Namaste
Sometimes I hang up the phone and wonder if I said "goodbye". My mind has already left the conversation and for the life of me I can't remember and feel kind of bad about it.
My husband started early on in our relationship with saying "love you" before hanging up and if I ever forget it is an immediate call back, "you didn't say I love you!"
I've even gotten my parents to say it back to me now when we end calls.
My favorite though, is that quite frequently my husband slips and says "love you" to his friends when they are getting off the phone. He tries to play it off as "love you.....man!"....and I always get to laugh. It's his fault, he started it.
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Any videogamers here?
by R.F. inthis is my #1 hobby.
i have a ps2, psp, and xbox.
i was mainly an xbox kind of guy until they completely abandoned it soon after the 360 was released.
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Namaste
My game is World of Warcraft...
Oh, oh, oh....me too! My husband played for 6+months before convincing me to try it. Got hooked pretty quickly. My sister came to visit and my husband really wanted to buy her the game and send it home with her. I thought it was a crazy idea. She takes it home, I'm talking to my brother-in-law a couple of days later and he says he is installing it for her. I mention to him that hey you can create a character too to see if you like the game. I could literally feel the excitement, glee, anticipation and sheer joy emanating from him over the phone, half a country away! 6 months later all four of us are still playing and having a great time. Can I ask what server you are on? It's always a longshot, but I always ask just in case I find someone that plays on mine. I'm on Eitrigg.
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Namaste
Thanks Sue and everyone else :) I just stumbled across this thread while I was going back through the active topics looking for something to read. It is GREAT to be here!
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Attending meetings while on Holidays
by Nosferatu inso how many of you actually attended meetings when you went away on holidays?
remember, you shouldn't take a holiday from jehovah!.
when me and my mother went to visit my uncle in 1987, we attended every stinkin' meeting, including a congregation baseball game.
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Namaste
When we went on family trips to places like Disneyland, Grand Canyon, and tons of family reunions, we never went to meetings. It was such a relief.
When we went camping with other families though, which we did a lot, someone would always suggest that we don't miss the WT study. Ugh, so there we would be in our finest camping attire sitting in a big circle doing the same old Q&A that we could have done at home.
Once I was out on my own, my vacation time was MINE and I wasn't sharing it with anyone else!
The one time I did actively seek out the KH, I was on a 6 week trip with a friend to Australia and New Zealand. You can bet we hit every possible hall we could find so we could check out the brothers
We met some great people and it is an experience I'll never regret. We would met a couple in Sydney that set us up with their family in Alice Springs and gave us points of contact all along our travel route. At one hall we went to in NZ, a woman came up to us after the meeting and engaged us in conversation and immediately invited us to stay at her house that evening. She said we had all the right books with us so she knew we were legit
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Newbies - Give us your stories....
by AK - Jeff inmost of old posters have hashed and re-hashed our backgrounds, history, and method of discovering the 'truth about the truth'.. your turn newbies!.
those who are lurking without the benefit of registration - it only takes a minute, and you too can give us your stories!.
those registered lurkers - what holds you back?
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Namaste
You'll be sorry you asked. I can't seem to post anywhere without writing a book :)
Currently I'm 40, married, with a 3 year old son. I was born and raised a JW being the 3rd generation on both sides of my family. My nieces and nephew are the 4th generation. My son is the only grandchild not being raised a JW.
My parents met and married by age 20 but didn't have me until 5 years later, they went on to produce a few more siblings for me and I ended up being the oldest of 5 children. I can't tell you how many times I heard growing up, "you were never supposed to even go to kindergarten." My parents really believed that the end would come before 1975. We meandered along through my childhood going to all the meetings, keeping our entire social life within the congregation and fellow JW family members. It wasn't a bad childhood in terms of missing out on everything, it really didn't bother me, I guess I was programmed to not let it bother me.
I will say that it was mind-numbing though. So much of my life is a big blur. My husband is always asking me "do you remember doing this as a kid?" and the answer is almost always no. It was just a never ending round of meetings and service with the highlights of the assemblies a few times a year. We had some great family friends though that I will never forget.
My dad was an elder quite a bit of my life, my mom the long-suffering wife. My parents are still married 45 years later, very unhappily but still consider themselves JW's even though they are inactive and have no regular meeting attendance. Only 1 out of the 5 kids is an active JW, he and I were the only ones baptized. The other 3 knew it wasn't for them.
To be honest, there was no big bang moment for me when I realized it was all wrong. Nothing like the 607 thing or feeling like I had been lied too. Growing up my dad pretty much scared all the young people to the point that I was left out of all the cool kid groups (a.k.a the ones that were actually having fun) so I remained a very good little JW girl.
I didn't get baptized until my early 20's. Why so late after being raised as a JW? Well, that is a question I ask myself and can't quite pinpoint the answer. I know one of the main reasons I finally went through with it was that I was so upset at the fact that I wasn't finding someone to date and marry. I completely missed the getting married early bandwagon and felt like there was no chance for me. Oh yes...and I wanted to go on an international trip with a JW friend and I knew she wouldn't go if I wasn't a JW in good standing, i.e. baptized. So I did the dunk and got my trip
There were some things that always frustrated me though, the lack of love in the congregation was so obvious to me (and I went to a lot of different ones), I felt so bad for the elderly, the single moms, and the poor families that had to struggle so hard to make all those meetings with no help, the fact that we had no organized charitable services (why couldn't we use *some* of the donation money to ease the life of our fellow brothers and sisters?), why could we accept organ donations but not blood (I knew more than a few that died from refusing blood), field service seemed like the most useless thing possible and it was evidenced to me by the lack of people it brought into the organization.
I saw how unhappy being JW's made my parents. I don't remember an assembly/convention that we went to that my mom wasn't in tears. My dad was "the head of the household!!!!" and ruled it with an iron fist.My mom was the full-on submissive wife (which always ticked me off!) We had the usual spankings and all, but he seemed to take out the brunt of his anger on one of my brothers to the point that CPS was called one time. He controlled all aspects of our socialization and if he said no, we didn't go. My big rebellion in high school was attending a pep rally. Whoa nellie, did I hear about that for a long time. How could I be so worldly?
I know it wasn't this way for a lot of people but being a JW and under the rule of my father (I didn't leave home till he kicked me out for defying his authority when I was 22) made me completely and socially inept. I strugged for years to just have a normal conversation with people I didn't know. To this day I have to have a little rehearsal in my head before I talk to someone new. The thought that I have to fight against constantly is that I'm being judged and anything I say will be talked about and passed along. Congregation gossip much anyone?
I hated the fact that they only option to me after highschool was pioneering or working full-time. I went the full-time route. I wanted to go to college so much, but it wasn't even an option. Funnily enough, last year my sister and I were talking to my dad about the educational system and why we are sending our children to pre-school and buying houses in the "good" school districts. He thought it was ridiculous that we were going to such an extent (hah!) and then he made a comment about "I offered to send you girls to college but you didn't want too"...oh my word, my sister and I both about fell off our chairs we were laughing so hard. He was a tad offended.
See I told you....I can't make a short post!
So anyway, I did the dunk, took my trip, came back and settled in for awhile and the same friend I went on the trip with talked me into moving to the midwest to "work where the need was great" for 6 months and help her pioneer. We made some good friends, had some fun, learned A LOT about small congregation politics, sweated our tails off in 110 degree weather with no A/C in the car or apartment, somehow (it is still a mystery to me!) I became a pioneer the last month I was there. Came home to live with my parents at 26 because I had given up my job and apartment and had nothing else to come home too. Sank into a horrible deep depression that took me almost a year to come out of. I could barely work, thought about ending it all a few times. I went to the meetings at my parent's hall maybe once or twice. Received absolutely no welcome in regards to pioneering or being a part of their congregation (I think that started my funk), never had the elders call to offer support once.
Then came the...duh...duh...duhhhhh....INTERNET!!!
Long story short, I met a guy online (well actually I met a few but this one seemed like he was a winner ). He wasn't a JW, but I convinced him to attend the local KH and start studying (WOW, now that I think about it, that is pretty amazing! I wonder if I have any other superpowers?). We ended up meeting in person 7 months after we met online. He eventually moved across country for me and took up residence in his own apartment (unfortunately, it was managed by some JW friends). After a short time he decided this whole JW thing wasn't for him and I had to decide to either accept him as is or move on. I decided to accept! And I was pretty pissed about being a 27 year old virgin, so I took care of that too! . I still went to meetings and tried to be a good little JW. Eventually someone tattled on me and I had to face the elders. It was just two of them, there was never a JC formed for me, because I sat there and lied my butt off to them. I thought there is NO WAY I'm telling these guys anything, it's none of their business. So I just said yes I understood leaving my boyfriend's apartment at 3am and sneaking back to my apartment with my other JW roommates could be misconstrued as me participating in something "unclean", but brothers, that is definitely not my situation With that I decided to change congregations and eventually moved an hour away from everyone that ever knew me.
I successfully faded without knowing that I was really doing that. I didn't want to make things difficult with my boyfriend/fiancee/husband for something that I was only doing half heartedly so once I moved away I never found a new KH and that was the end of my attending. I've maintained a relationship with my parents and we just don't talk about anything related to me returning to being a JW. They stopped inviting me to memorial several years ago. Although my mom did give my address to someone who lives in my area so I'm now apparently their monthly return visit. I've managed to avoid them all but one time and finally convinced my husband we don't have to open the door when they knock and if he does, he is talking to them, not me!
My heart truly hurts for the situation I see my parents in. My dad has even said that he has been lied to by the society, but I know they both feel trapped and are to scared to even think about leaving. So here they are trying to salvage their last few years in poor health with no retirement (because that wouldn't have been trusting in Jah and oh wasn't "the end" supposed to come by now?), unhappy in their marriage but always still hoping I will return to "the truth." I have a small hope that maybe I can open their eyes a little bit in their remaining years and they can find some relief. Although I don't know if it will be relief or despair at discovering that their entire lives were wasted
I've seen my one JW brother once, by accident, in the last 8 years. He has never met my really cool kid I do have an AWESOME sister that is 10 years younger than me that knew when she was a teenager that the whole JW thing wasn't for her so once I was "out for good" we could relate on an even deeper level talking about what we felt and knew wasn't right with the whole organization. My non-baptized brother married (at 19) a baptized sister (17!) and they went on to have 3 children and eventually divorce. For a long time I maintained a good relationship with my sister-in-law and was really involved in the lives of her and her girls. But I guess something has changed as she hasn't contacted me in almost a year which hurts me a lot. Maybe someone told her about my Halloween and Christmas decorations? Eeks!
Sometime after I was married I went to a used bookstore and came across Crisis of Conscience. I didn't buy it, but thought about it a lot. If I picked up that *apostate* book I knew there was no turning back. Fortunately, I gathered up enough nerve and eventually went in and bought it and the subsequent book. Quite possibly I read through it in 2 days. That was the end for me. I knew I could never go back.
Over the years I have been familiar with sites like Freeminds and Silentlambs, how I missed this one I don't know! Maybe I thought it was pro-JW. Humphf! My husband came by just now and was wondering what I was doing and I explained about this board. He looked at me a little funny but I told him "these are my people! they are the only ones that understand!" We chatted a bit more and I reminded him whatever "issues" I may have (who me??) stem from being a JW for so many years and this is a chance for me to hear stories just like mine and to share my experiences. And to know that there are so many of you out there, brings tears to my eyes. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Well I don't know about you, but this has been very cleansing for me to type all this out! On another board I frequent, when people see posts like this they scream "get a journal!" but I promise I won't be so wordy from here on out.
Namaste
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(Mormons)?Jehovah's Witnesses Vandalized Our Deck!
by DannyHaszard inwhoa!
top ranked across all the blogs and news wires jehovah's witnesses vandalized our deck!.
shakopee valley news, mn - 5 hours ago.
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Namaste
I have three words for the original blogger: Total Whack Job.
I couldn't agree more! The fact that poster after poster was leaving comments as to why it couldn't be JW's versus the Mormons and he was having none of it. Yeah, because he is the only one who could possibly be right and all the rest are wrong. I really liked the fact that he kept calling the KH and was ticked off that no one was answering....we know why, but let's not help him. I love that the mom eventually commented herself, not sure if it is included in the comments above but I saw it on the original article. I *almost* registered to give my 2cents. I had a 3rd option to present (besides the fact that it could have all been a coincidence with all things coming together at once, visitors x2 + vandalism = JW's knock over flower pots). If you have seen any of the videos on YouTube, there groups of people with lists of tasks to do (not sure how it all works, kind of like a scavenger hunt type thing I'm guessing) and they have to pretend to be JW's and try to convert someone. Maybe, just maybe, the poor mom was getting visited by the Mormons, JW's and getting pranked all at the same time. Just an idea.
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Did any of you have a microphone fear/phobia?
by eclipse ini did.
i hated commenting because of it...i hated giving talks on the main school, .
i hated hearing my own voice...,my voice always sounded like i was scared shitless lol.. anyone else?
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Namaste
Yes, complete fear of them! I would sit there for several paragraphs beforehand just dreading the time that I had raise my hand, hoping they wouldn't call on me. Bookstudy I usually didn't have a problem with. Talks in the back rooms were "okay" but put me on the stage with the mic and I was Miss Shaky Voice for the next 5 minutes. I thought the "theocratic ministry school" was supposed to help prepare us for speaking in public. All it did was make me worse because I was always expecting a critique when I was done with any public speaking.
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Shunned from society, widows flock to city to die
by Grammy inand i thought the jw's treated their elderly badly.. this is the most horrendous thing i have ever heard off, it's truly disgusting!.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/world/asiapcf/07/05/damon.india.widows/index.html?eref=rss_topstories.
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Namaste
Wow I had no idea that occurred. I can hardly wrap my brain around the idea of rejecting your mother and putting her on the street to die because of tradition. I'm interested in finding out if there are any organizations that you can donate to and help fund these homes. So sad.