Posts by student1

8

I had a guy talk to me about the witnesses in a night club on friday!!

by student1 in

what a random turn of events, my jw housemate decided to show me she still liked me this friday.

she took me out for a rocking evening to celebrate my 2-1 result for my degree!.

this was rather nice as i had been getting increasingly jealous at the fuss others were making over her to make up for the horror of her best mate turning apostate!!

student1

What a random turn of events, my jw housemate decided to show me she still liked me this friday. She took me out for a rocking evening to celebrate my 2-1 result for my degree!

This was rather nice as I had been getting increasingly jealous at the fuss others were making over her to make up for the horror of her best mate turning apostate!! ..the girl had been taken away by her dub family more times than a celebrity... Trips that I used to be invited to were now off limits for me!!.After a good three months of exclusion from my friends rediculously fun city break packed life - Amsterdam, Venice, Spa's and scotland (and all this after a 6 month round the world trip - how jealous was I - bloody jealous!)... A night out with my bud was just what I had been longing for, just the two of us!!

Anyway the evening was so much fun, great meal - we had such a giggle winding up the waitor and then went to our favourite indie club (the same one that all my dub mates and I regularly frequented before I was excluded!! Ha what a joke!!! bloody dubs!!)

For one night only it was like the old days... Irony being I am the worldly who should have been slutting it about!! But instead it was my dub mate (pioneer hahaha!!) that went off back to a guys house... while i sat alone in this club!!

I need not had sat alone but it was preferable to talking to the friends of the guy my mate went off with. One of them knew my friend was a dub, they asked me if I was, I said no and then he went on to tell me how nice a religion it is!!!

'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh yeah lovely!!!!!!! You know nothing about it mate!' This guy fancies my mates sister and so he has been fed a very light version of the truth by said sister!!!

It was a night out and I wanted to enjoy myself and so I told him a few snippets about my experience and then went to the bar to get myself a drink (a huge one!!)

That chat did irritate me though, infact allot of my life is a source of irritation at the moment!!

Last night I had a man in my room (my on off boyfriend!) and the comedy that ensued when my hypocrital housemate came home early unexpected and I told him to hide in the cupboard or jump out of the window!! I went out to say hi to her and my top was back to front inside out!! and my hair looked like I had been through a bush backwards!! hahaha but I dont want to get dissed so I laughed off the questions as to what I was up to!!! It is all a bit of a joke as she would have a conscience when it comes to me but would overlook her own misgivings!!

5

Does this mean anything to you??

by student1 in

one day you finally knew.

what you had to do, and began,.

though the voices around you.

student1

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

(Mary Oliver)

That poem sums up the last 10 years of my life. From wanting to leave the borg but not listening to my inner voice, I just felt I should share it with you - I came accross it today at lunch in my new book 'ten poems to change your life'! xxxxxxx

65

cult personality type?

by Mysterious in

jw
friends

another thing that has been intriguing me lately is the idea that cults can help sway people towards a certain personality type more towards a judging personality for example, or becoming more feeling rather than thinking.

i know my meyers-briggs type changed from istj when i was a jw to intj after i left.

i was curious if anyone else was aware of a similar shift in their actual measurable personality traits..maybe putting on the new personality is literal?

student1

My parents were the first to join the jws and I can see that their personalities are the sort that are vulnerable to the religion. They are sorry to say misfits of society (both have no social skills and no friends!) the religion gave them a sense of belonging! I think it is all about conformity and the psychology of belonging to groups.

I realise my post may sound very bitter and I appoligise for that - im mad at my parents but all the same whether I was mad or not the fact remains they are social misfits. Even in the Jws they are still not that popular! Because we were not the perfect family, Dad never made spiritual strives and always read his talks off of a script no matter how many times he was counselled to use notes haha! Us girls went to college and me and my younger sister did the big no no - university. That said had my parents not allowed my education I would never have seen the light! my mum single handedly blames my psychology degree for my departure! She is right ofcourse! as it trained me to think critically and not just to accept. So I am also thankful to my parents!

20

growing emotionally :)

by Missanna in

i've been thinking a lot lately about how much i've changed over the last year.

i've only been out of the borg for a year but i've changed so much.

my father called me the other day and told me that he found out that my husband has been going on these xjw boards and wanted to know how i felt about it.

student1

Me too!! I wish i was as strong as you at 19!

Your post touched my heart because I used to feel sad at disapointing my family and friends infact that fear kept me in place for way too long!

Also the calm way you handled it was brilliant, I have lost control of situations where I could have given a good explanation of myself had I been able to stay calm!

Welldone Babe - I love reading posts like yours. I am a recent fader (have not been to meetings for 3 months now!). The bonds of the jdub club on my mind are loosening all of the time. But I remain scared of getting disfellowshipped. However the reality of the situation is that, I have already been cut off by my parents. The fear of disfellowshipping is related to a fear of my parents being disapointed in me! Which i wish to overcome! x

20

Did you/ Do you tell prospective mates that you used to be a jw?

by student1 in

if you do, how long do you get to know them before you do?

also is telling prospective mates about your past just a big no no cos it screams out baggage!

yes lashings of baggage is what this evil religion has left me with!

student1

Twitch your post was brilliant!

I should not be ashamed of the past! As it has made me who I am today. The fact I was a jdub is a running joke with my worldly mates (by that i mean friends) and I like that.

Like you said Twitch..my worldlies say that I give too many personal details to men I go out with.

Its all because I am stuck in fade away hell... ducking and diving from elders and juggleing my dearest jws feelings about my departure. It makes for an interesting life and allong with that i am trying to have a good relationship with a worldly! without the jws finding out!! Its all rather complicated!! the guy probably thinks im an undercover spy or im on the run from the police the way i behave! wow that would be so much better than im avoiding the cult leaders! where I live is jwville, so I have even taken to diving into bushes when out and about walking the dogs to avoid the jws!

Fade away hell makes me want to offload the details of my ludicrous life, I hope soon that I will no longer need to talk about it all so much!

Things will be so much easier once I have moved out of jwville!!

20

Did you/ Do you tell prospective mates that you used to be a jw?

by student1 in

if you do, how long do you get to know them before you do?

also is telling prospective mates about your past just a big no no cos it screams out baggage!

yes lashings of baggage is what this evil religion has left me with!

student1

Misanthropic - you hit the nail on the head! I feel like I should explain why I dont have family around me! I guess I want him to realise that its not because I did something awful but because of the religion! Also why my birthday went by without a family hoopla!

My question stems from insecurity about my situation. I worry that if I dont tell them why my family are not involved in my life - wrong conclusions will be drawn! Afterall if I was a worldly 'your family is in a cult' would not be the first assumption I would jump to! ha ha

My choice of words 'prospective mate' is hillarious- why did i say that? Classic Jdub lingo!! I am dating one guy who I am unsure of as I do not know him that well, he is fun and i like fun (that is all I know!) So I will wait before I reveal the horrors that make up my upbringing.

I am so far off marriage its unreal! I have only just started to realise how many and varied the men are outside of the JW's its really rather exciting! Allthough the JW issues that I have still come into my mind and try to force relationships to be more than they are (does that make sense?).

Thankyou for the help and support - As always your posts are balanced and realistic and help me to chill out and let things run their natural course.

xxx

27

After 18months I get called on - Elder confrontation.

by wozadummy in

firstly i will acknowlege this may be long please bear with me.. not all written here will be exactly in the sequence we discussed things, for we talked for some time at my door.. he was my former book study conductor and i still think he has good qualities that i see lacking in so many elders, but as you will see the wts mindset is like concrete in his mind.. i am writing this not to brag but to emphasise and highlight the disgusting mindset of the wts and it's leaders and members.. here we go - some may know that my wife was molested as a child for some time by her elder father.

when we married some years ago it did not take long for her to open up to me about what happened to her and needless to say we struggled with this, and eventually told the local elders what happened to her as a child.. we only went this path after she tried to get him to confess ,which he did'nt and so we followed what we thought at the time was the theocratic way and went to the elders ,and please note we sincerely wanted him to repent so he could get everlasting life.

he denied all and so followed years of heartache for my wife along with her family tormenting her and eventually abandoning her, even by at least one of her sisters whom my wife also witnessed getting done by the father though not as bad ,and my wife even as a kid tried to protect her younger sisters.. ok there is the usual wts crap "we have no witnesses" even though my wife called out to jehovah to stop him as he did this for years.

student1

Wozadummy - you did amazing! your poor wife - thank you for posting. Your story really sickened me but your wifes strength and yours is truly inspiring.

20

Did you/ Do you tell prospective mates that you used to be a jw?

by student1 in

if you do, how long do you get to know them before you do?

also is telling prospective mates about your past just a big no no cos it screams out baggage!

yes lashings of baggage is what this evil religion has left me with!

student1

If you do, how long do you get to know them before you do? also is telling prospective mates about your past just a big no no cos it screams out baggage!

Yes lashings of baggage is what this evil religion has left me with! Sorry im being somewhat melodramatic and really needed to vent!

Thanks xxxxxxxx

21

Is this the correct place for an introduction??

by student1 in

long time lurker from the uk... making my first post ooh scary...the reason posting now is that i need some advice on talking to my jw family and friends, without their walls coming up!

having read this forum for a good year, you all seem to be expert linguists!

i want to be like an indiana jones type character and slip through the sliding door in to the tomb (my sisters brain!

student1

Jgnat and all of the other posts your advise shows that you have experience in these matters. Thank you!

More important details: My sister has a flaw in her jw armour. A long lost first love who is not jw! She rejected him for the jws! This long lost love has recently re-entered my sisters life. Yes, this old love is being juggled alongside an extremely strict jw reg pioneer/ms boyfriend and ofcourse the two do not mix very well!! The Jw bf lives about 400 miles away and has always been very controlling and disaproving of my sisters artistic talents. This is in complete oposition to her long lost love you is a successful singer and song writer! Recently my sisters university had a fire (possibly caused by her jealous bf- just kidding!) and she lost almost all of her art work which she was devastated about, the bf said that she should not be so in to her art and that it is not a profitable career for her when they are married. (They are not engaged!).

To sum up my sister is spending more amd more time with her long lost love and is considering dumping jw meanie and going out with romantic long lost love! Wonderful... however she is determined to remain a jw! (huge no no as we all know!).

Also, prior to meeting jw meanie she did not go to meetings for about a year! allthough she never decided to leave she just could not be bothered!! her jw bf has been a 'good' jw influence on her - she now studies constantly and has aux pioneered etc.

My sister was previously ok about my decision to leave, but changed her mind after she spent time with jw bf! she became very sanctomonious. She said I had left jah and had chosen satan blah blah blah! However... this week she told me she now completely understands my decision! all of a sudden her feelings for the long lost love have changed her perspective on my decision!!

Does any of that make sense? oh it would be so much easier if she just left the borg and gave her self a chance to be happy! ofcourse it is not that simple - as we all know! Plus I am being selfish... it would be a lot simpler for me but my sister would have hell from parents as she still lives at home and doesnt seem to want to leave!

21

Is this the correct place for an introduction??

by student1 in

long time lurker from the uk... making my first post ooh scary...the reason posting now is that i need some advice on talking to my jw family and friends, without their walls coming up!

having read this forum for a good year, you all seem to be expert linguists!

i want to be like an indiana jones type character and slip through the sliding door in to the tomb (my sisters brain!

student1

long time lurker from the UK... making my first post ooh scary...The reason posting now is that I need some advice on talking to my jw family and friends, without their walls coming up! Having read this forum for a good year, you all seem to be expert linguists! I want to be like an Indiana jones type character and slip through the sliding door in to the tomb (my sisters brain!) and sow my seeds of doubt before the door shuts forever and I am labelled 'apostate' ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh the shame!

I have stopped going to meetings for about a month now. My Sister has noticed I am happier now and she asked why that was so. Before I knew it I was ranting about the cover ups and the controlling techniques of the borg. She knows how I was never quite the same after my friend got disfellowshipped. I said that I could no longer be an associate with an organisation that persecutes individuals for no longer believing. My sister asked 'what else could the society do to set them apart from the churches?'. I replied that in the case of paedofiles they should report them to the police! She ofcourse doesn't believe paedofiles exist in the borg! 'its all lies' she informed me! The conversation progressed, I explained thinking for myself is a true source of happiness.

Then suddenly she said 'I must stop you there'! to which I responded 'you asked me!'. She said I do not respect her beliefs - she used the analogy of her muslim boss, saying she would never challenge her boss!

I screwed up the conversation, I got too jaded about the 'truth'. I hope that if I get another oppertunity I wont mess it up this time!