I am sorry for your situation but you must think of your grandchildren first. They will suffer if you don't visit them anymore and that will cause serious damage to their ability to trust you. Not to mention the damage you do to your own child if you allow men to dictate your relationship.
Ask yourself which is worse: Following your natural inclination to love your family or cutting yourself off from loved ones because "men" tell you they are evil.
Bobbi
Posts by Bobbi
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12Family situation
by frisbee injust looking for a bit of good advice, my daughter and son in law have been dfd and i have two great grandsons, elders on patrol realise have been communicating and are now arranging for a meet with co in two weeks, they saw fit to remove what limited priveledges i still hold with all that stuff about disloyalty, sharer in wicked works etc.
so now too visit and hug grandsons may release the damocletian sword, are any of you guys stll in touch with close family even if still in - have you had major run ins with the boe in similar situations.oh, i dont need a get out clause for the moment.
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Bobbi
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34
Going to the Prom not allowed as a JW
by odie67 ini didnt go to my prom because it was not allowed.
i didnt even bother to ask.
i don't regret it alot, but it would be nice to have a picture or two for memory sake.
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Bobbi
I graduated in 1993 and there was no way I was going to be allowed to go to my prom. The only reason I was allowed to go to my graduation ceremony was my father was not a witness at the time. My grand mother didn't want to go so she faked a heart attack. My dad called her bluff and they came but my dad was so angry he only took one picture. We sat crammed into the car after while my grandparents gave me a present and we were home by 7:30. I was so disappointed since actually graduating was proof of a lot of hard work and I thought they would care more.
I was allowed to go to my graduation dinner. I also think my father had something to do with that. I never even asked to go but I did mention it at the supper table one night and that most of my friends were going. One of the best nights of my life.
Witness kids have it tough now. The borg keeps them so isolated that they rarely have a chance to see what the real world is like. One of my friends accused me of being selfish and of not loving my children. She hopes her children never go to preschool. She is sure the end will be here soon. I signed my middle son up for soccer this spring. If the end comes, at least he will have have done something fun.
Bobbi -
16
negotiating with mom
by tavash inyesterday was sunny and i felt strong.
i felt up to the challenge, so i called mom.
tomorrow is one year since nan died, so we're bound to have contact.
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Bobbi
Hi Sister in Law
I am at a loss for words to console you and Para. Today is the 5 anniversary of my grandfathers death and last month was the 2nd anniversary of my grandmothers death. I miss them.
I pity your mom and my mother too. They have so little joy in their lives and by rejecting us (you,Para,me and the kids) they are missing out on so much.
We have our family unit and it is strong. We have made friends into an extended Family unit and it is strong.
My heart breaks for you because I understand the pain you are going thru with your mom. I have stopped expecting our mothers to act like mothers but a small part of me still hopes for the kind of love and acceptance we crave.
Call us anytime and be safe.
Love you lots
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38
how do you deal with bullies?
by loosie inmy daughter is in 6th grade.. i know from personal experience when i was in jr high that kids can be really mean.
i used to come home crying everyday.
i was told that i was ugly and i would never get married.
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Bobbi
I was bullied to the point of wanting to kill myself rather than go to school.
When my sweet gentle little boy came home in grade one and said some kids were picking on him, I tried to tell him that the bad kid didn't have a nice home life and Daniel should try to make friends.
After pitching a fit and refusing to go to school, I called the school for help. They said because it was happening off school grounds ( the less than two blocks between my house and the school) there was nothing they could do. They knew who was doing it and the parents didn't care. They also warned me about talking to the parents of the child involved because it would not go well.
SO I started meeting Daniel after school. He pointed out the little twerp. After a week of me walking Daniel and glaring at the little prick who dared to follow us every day, I told my son, "Tomorrow, when he starts to bug you, tell him, Your Mother knows his name and where he lives, and if he bugs you again, your mother is going to go to his house and tell on him."
Daniel came flying in the next day and says that when he told the bully that the kid started begging him not to tell his mom. No problems since. I hate that i used the kids bad homelife and fear of his parents but I have to protect my child.
Daniel had trouble off and on with getting bullied until he made some friends and they run as a pack. There are too many of them for the older kid(who was the bully and the school knew about it) to mess with.
In canada there are programs everywhere and still bullying is a major problem. I think the biggest cause is parents who just don't care and their kids know it. There are no real conscquences.
Bobbi -
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Recent qutters, do you even have a social structure now?
by oompa inat least when i was in high school, i had lots of somewhat secret worldly friends.
i fit in well for guy with short hair.
my liberal elder/dad let me play on the tennis and soccer team....and go to the prom with my catholic girlfriend...talk about scandal.
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Bobbi
Hummm I call dibs on Sunspot. My kids need another grandparent in their lives.
I have an almost constant litany of things going thru my mind when I meet people. I am uncomfortable in new situations and am actually quite shy. I have to force myself to be more outgoing and I am now reaping the rewards. GASP! "worldly" people can be really really nice.
When someone asked to go for coffee I used to make an excuse. Now I jump at the chance and make firm plans. I think my biggest obstacle is getting over being taught that people who aren't JW's are bad.
Para calls me a social butterfly now. There used to be just stuff for the kids on the calendar, now my name pops up. Poor man sometimes even has to come home on time from work so I can go out. HAHAHAHAHHAHHAH I LOVE IT.
Bobbi -
134
Here kitteh kitteh.......LOL
by Tatiana ini am just having a seizure lmao at these cat pics.
i had three gorgeous "kittehs" before i moved to madison, and had to give them away.
i cried for a month.
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Bobbi
I have www.icanhascheezeburger.com bookmarked.
I also search youtube for "crazycats" or "funny cats". My cat Calvin likes to watch too.
Bobbi -
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A Jehovahs Witness just called on my door
by mouthy into invite me to the march 22nd do.
please pray for him.
i invited him in because it is so cold.. poor soul !!!!
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Bobbi
YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!
Bobbi -
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Kids and imaginary friends....are they really imaginary?
by ButtLight ini never had one growing up, at least not to my knowledge.
none of my kids did either.
did any of your kids?
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Bobbi
My best friends little girl had a "pretty Lady" who used to play with her. We never saw her but figured as long as Ella wasn't upset by it who were we to tell her what to think.
The "pretty Lady" didn't move with them to the new house a few months ago either.
Bobbi -
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Audio Books, any suggestions?
by wings inso it looks like i am going to have about a month to plan my road trip.
today i need to revive my excitement.
i have so much to accomplish before i can leave.
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Bobbi
I listen to audio books all the time, usually in the kitchen since I find food prep and dishes very mind numbing and I spend a lot of time in there.
Clive Cussler is my dad's favorite and I find his books very interesting to listen to. fiction -
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Missing The Good Old Days!
by Outaservice inlets see now......... .
monday night: prepare for the tuesday night book study i will conduct.
also, have the family monday night watchtower study preparation.
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Bobbi
ok this was my schedule before I started getting a real life.
Monday morning- get picked up for service(usually late)spend two boring hours in the back seat of overheated car. At Noon get dropped off at bus station to get to work for 1pm. Work until 6pm grab bus home, arriving at 7:30 only if I wasn't held up with a client and missed the 6:10 bus. Somewhere in there I think I ate something.
Tuesday morning- except in the evening my parents were waiting in the car in the driveway to leave for the kingdom hall. I would run in and grab my meeting bag and rush back out. I usually ate at around 11pm.
Wednesday- same as monday.
Thursday- same as monday, tuesday and wednesday except that I worked until 8 pm, home around 9:30.
Friday- same as monday.
Saturday- up early to get to Saturday morning bookstudy. It ended at 10am I literally ran out the door to get the car home and catch a 10:20 bus to get to work. Work until 6 pm, home by 7:30.
Sunday- Usually morning meeting and then service. Home to get yelled at for all the chores I didn't get done during the week. Hand over half my paycheck to parents for room and board and use of the car.
During all this I did my meeting prep and service prep. I used the car for service about once a week and to get to the book study on Saturday. I also planned a wedding and cared for my sick mother and my one year old nephew who my sister kept dropping off for us to babysit while she "worked". Mom always found time for me to pick my sister up from work.
Looking back I am not surprised I only weighed about 110lbs. I am also surprised the shear boredom of my life before Paralipomenon didn't kill me.
Bobbi
Bobbi