Orgull

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Posts by Orgull

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  78

  Have you ever faked a service report?

  by Orgull in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it's only my third day here so, go easy on me.

  lol.. seriously, my new doubts have made it harder and harder to go in service.

  a few months ago, when a new month rolled around, i realized that i hadn't actually gone in service at all the previous month.

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  Orgull

  Wow... uh... I sure don't feel alone anymore.

  This raises a serious question. How much of the supposed 1+ billion hours we put in service last year is "real"?
• 
  50

  Conversation with street witnessor (?) becomes elder infused

  by AuldSoul in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  yesterday, thursday, july 26, 2007, a conversation with a street witnessor (isn't that what you would call someone involved in street witnessing?

  ) got joined by a walk-up elder turned into a great opportunity to witness to several bystanders (who even joined in the conversation).. i began by declining to accept the offer from the elderly woman who held up a "what does god require of us?

  i said, "but, verne, you aren't going to the bible.

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  Orgull

  Awesome.

  I am in awe of that experience. Way to go AuldSoul.
• 
  78

  Have you ever faked a service report?

  by Orgull in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it's only my third day here so, go easy on me.

  lol.. seriously, my new doubts have made it harder and harder to go in service.

  a few months ago, when a new month rolled around, i realized that i hadn't actually gone in service at all the previous month.

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  Orgull

  "But seriously, it was hard for me to go out to try and convince people to be JW's when I wasn't sure about it myself." - Musicman

  BINGO!

  That's the root of the problem right there.
• 
  78

  Have you ever faked a service report?

  by Orgull in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it's only my third day here so, go easy on me.

  lol.. seriously, my new doubts have made it harder and harder to go in service.

  a few months ago, when a new month rolled around, i realized that i hadn't actually gone in service at all the previous month.

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  Orgull

  LOL Ninja. I should have seen that coming from you. Priceless.
• 
  78

  Have you ever faked a service report?

  by Orgull in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it's only my third day here so, go easy on me.

  lol.. seriously, my new doubts have made it harder and harder to go in service.

  a few months ago, when a new month rolled around, i realized that i hadn't actually gone in service at all the previous month.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Orgull

  It's only my third day here so, go easy on me. LOL.

  Seriously, my new doubts have made it harder and harder to go in service. A few months ago, when a new month rolled around, I realized that I hadn't actually gone in service at all the previous month. I didn't want to deal with the garbage of meeting with the elders and I wasn't (and still am not) ready to express my doubts to my family or the elders. So I fudged it.

  Has anyone else ever done this? Or am I some kind of deviant?

  P.S. I have to tell this quick story. I was in the grocery store last night before the bookstudy and for the first time I didn't feel sepearate from all the "worldy" people in the store. I saw each one of them as a real person, full of life. I didn't feel disdain or distanced, I didn't keep my head down to avoid eye contact. Hell, I was wearing my suit so I even returned glances from two women who were checking me out. I've never done that before, I always looked away. Ha ha!

  I can't believe how great it is to feel the shackles coming off.
• 
  3

  Anyone here play 'Diplomacy'?

  by ThomasCovenant in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does anyone here play the board game 'diplomacy' or play it online.

  it's like 'risk' only a thousand times better.

  there are no dice involved and is more like chess.. thomas covenant.

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  Orgull

  I do, I love it. I never play online though, love the tabletop game, running from room to room making deals.
• 
  22

  I don't feel angry or resentful, do you?

  by Orgull in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i'm new here (my first post yesterday: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/138721/1.ashx) and i've noticed only one thing that i don't have in common with a few people here.. i'm breaking free of my beliefs after more than thirty years and i feel great.

  i feel calm, free and in control.. i feel no anger, resentment or hate towards my so-called brothers and sisters or towards the fds or the organization.

  i don't see the point, it doesn't help me any.

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  Orgull

  I'm baptized 19 years, still in good standing (lol).

  Haven't walked away yet. The idea is very new to me. It's taking some time to adjust. Like jumping in the deep end of the pool!
• 
  22

  I don't feel angry or resentful, do you?

  by Orgull in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i'm new here (my first post yesterday: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/138721/1.ashx) and i've noticed only one thing that i don't have in common with a few people here.. i'm breaking free of my beliefs after more than thirty years and i feel great.

  i feel calm, free and in control.. i feel no anger, resentment or hate towards my so-called brothers and sisters or towards the fds or the organization.

  i don't see the point, it doesn't help me any.

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  Orgull

  I'm new here (My first post yesterday: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/138721/1.ashx) and I've noticed only one thing that I don't have in common with a few people here.

  I'm breaking free of my beliefs after more than thirty years and I feel great. I feel calm, free and in control.

  I feel no anger, resentment or hate towards my so-called brothers and sisters or towards the FDS or the organization. I don't see the point, it doesn't help me any. Part of my treatment for defeating depression was to let go of any resentment towards my family and I've learned that resentment is toxic. Once I stopped being angry I started healing.

  Now I've noticed there are some here who seem very resentful and angry. Are you? If so, why?

  P.S. I got a full eight hours sleep last night and woke up refreshed for the first time in years. I feel more alive than I ever have before. Wow!
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  45

  I had no idea there were people who felt like me

  by Orgull in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i've recently begun challenging my beliefs.

  all my beliefs, including those ingrained in me as one raised "in the truth".. a few years ago i sought therapy for chronic depression and my treatment was remarkably successful.

  as a side effect, things that used to "work" for me no longer fit with the new emotional pathways and strengths i was developing.

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  Orgull

  I should point out... I haven't left the organization. I'm still learning and I've gotten into a routine that (because of my family) I don't want to alter just yet.

  Irony of ironies, I've had perfect meeting attendance for the last 5 1/2 years. I used to be a pioneer. And I'm still going to the meeting tomorrow night because I'm not ready to give up my friends.

  But it still feels good to be here too.
• 
  45

  I had no idea there were people who felt like me

  by Orgull in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i've recently begun challenging my beliefs.

  all my beliefs, including those ingrained in me as one raised "in the truth".. a few years ago i sought therapy for chronic depression and my treatment was remarkably successful.

  as a side effect, things that used to "work" for me no longer fit with the new emotional pathways and strengths i was developing.

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  Orgull

  I've recently begun challenging my beliefs. All my beliefs, including those ingrained in me as one raised "in the truth".

  A few years ago I sought therapy for chronic depression and my treatment was remarkably successful. As a side effect, things that used to "work" for me no longer fit with the new emotional pathways and strengths I was developing. Included in this was my need to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I liked being controlled, I liked believing what I was told because it was easy, because I was weak. I needed to feel abused and humiliated and my religion did those things for me quite well. Now that I'm getting mentally healthy, I find myself reacting to meeting parts or articles (or even that astonishing part on the friday of the convention about obeying the FDS) in ways I didn't expect.

  Now these ideas I'm being taught make me stop and say, "WTF?"

  So I decided to re-examine my beliefs and rebuild my faith from scratch. The more I read the bible and the more I studied, the more questions I had. 587 vs. 607 was one of them (I have read several waonderful threads on this subject here, thank you all!). Another problem I have is the clear distinction between what the bible actually says, what the FDS write and what actually happens in real life within the organization. It's supposed to be an organization of love, but the deeper I look, it seems to be based on fear.

  My whole belief structure is falling apart, and strangely I feel fine.

  Then I found this forum and was STUNNED to discover that I'm not alone. I can't believe how many people here feel the same way I do about so many things!

  I am in shock, yet I feel really good. So many like-minded people? And the horrible thing is, I am daring to post. I wonder how many people out there "in the truth" feel the same way but would never dare to post or even visit a place like this.

  I just wanted to say thank you and it's great knowing I'm not alone.