RisingEagle

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Posts by RisingEagle

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  26

  Poor Excuse for an Apostate

  by Mum in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i tell anyone i am considered an apostate, they usually think i'm joking and fall over laughing.

  after thinking about it, i can understand why.

  my lifestyle would prompt a farmyard chicken to take up another interest.

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  RisingEagle

  I do fit the jdub version of an apostate, except for the weeping and gnashing of teeth thing.

  1. I regularly attend a church because I still hold a belief in God. I participate as fully as possible at every prayer breakfast, church business meeting and social gathering. I play in the handbell choir, sing along with the choir and say, "amen" and, "that's right" when the pastor makes a good point in his sermon.
  2. I vote and give money to worthy candidates as I see fit.
  3. I own and shoot guns although they're locked in the attic until I can teach my young daughter how to handle them properly, i.e. not shoot anyone important or my dogs.
  4. I eat a lot of red meat. The only conscious soybean intake I get is from the newsprint on the daily paper.
  5. I watch as much football as I can. I taught my daughter to say, "Boomer Sooner!" and, "Go Broncos!"
  6. I send my daughter to a Christian private school and encourage her to participate in as many extracurricular activities as she wants.
  7. I helped put my wife through college and nursing school. I whole-heartedly support her in her dreams of being a physicians assistant or nurse practitioner, whichever she decides.
  8. I've been a member of the YMCA and plan on joining the PTA and as many other acronym associations as I want.
  9. I stand for and say the pledge of allegiance and sing the National Anthem.
  10. I read anything and everything I desire.
  11. I've been thinking about posting comments on apostate websites as soon as I find one.
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  28

  one word to describe me

  by Hortensia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i thought crumpet's thread was really interesting and that everyone was really supportive in their answers.

  then i thought about what words would describe me - i imagine lots of folks thought that.

  i used to have in my profile "short fat ugly old and mean" which was a joke but offended someone...currently i would described myself as tired and a little crabby and inclined to be unsympathetic, which was always my husband's complaint about me anyway.

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  RisingEagle

  Here's another opportunity for me to misunderstand the directions. Am I supposed to describe Hortensia or me?

  Well, I'm gonna do both just to cover the bases.

  Hortensia: Gracious and modest with a tinge of naughty

  Me: Misunderstanding
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  4

  crabby

  by John Doe in

  1. social
  2. humour

  the day after losing his wife in a diving accident, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced alaska state troopers.. "we're sorry to call on you at this hour, mr. wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.".

  did you find her?

  " the man cried.

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  RisingEagle

  A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
  
  Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her passionately.
  
  The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
  
  The husband thought for a moment and replied,. "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

  I couldn't remember any crab jokes but since this one referred to fishing I threw it in.

  Eagle
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  16

  It looks like there is a job opportunity opening up for me!!!

  by FreedomFrog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i got a flyer on my door this morning.

  i was about to throw it away because it was a center opening up for a daycare.

  i decided to call them to find out what their charges are to see if they were any lower...unfortunately they weren't.

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  RisingEagle

  That's wonderful! Best wishes to you on the job interview!

  Eagle
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  1

  Halloween Joke

  by RisingEagle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  an extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.. .

  upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another false alarm and stayed put.

  he suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.. .

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  RisingEagle

  An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
  
  Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another false alarm and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
  
  In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
  
  A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
  
  As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the heck is going on here?'
  
  The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost.'
  
  Happy Halloween!
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  37

  Just wanted to say hi

  by brandy lynn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  not sure where i should put this.

  anyways i just wanted to say hello.. .

  brandy lynn.

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  RisingEagle

  Well, since nobody else is gonna say it, Hi and welcome!

  Eagle
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  23

  Dumber than Dirt ?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2007/10/24/notes102407.dtl&feed=rss.mmorford.

  american kids, dumber than dirtwarning: the next generation might just be the biggest pile of idiots in u.s. historyby mark morford, sf gate columnist.

  wednesday, october 24, 2007. .

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  RisingEagle

  Interesting topic. I guess one could point out the converse being true, though. The kids today probably think their elders (no not those kind, those elders are stupid regardless of the generation) are also dumb for not knowing what they do about the internet, cell phones and other devices that make this generation move and shake. I still have to reprogram my mom's vcr/dvd combo everytime the power goes out to stop the flashing 12:00.

  I blame the rock n roll, get the heck off my lawn!

  Anybody know how to get these boogers out of my knuckle hair?
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  25

  How many senses do we have?

  by RisingEagle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste.

  according to the author of a book i was looking at recently we have at least eight.

  those previously listed and these: the ability to sense heat or temperature, the ability to sense pain and awareness of the location of our body parts.

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  RisingEagle

  Has anyone here had a sense of deja vu? Many times for me.

  I swear I've read this before....It seems so....familiar

  I sensed that you were going to say that.
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  3

  Billy Squire trivia ?

  by Watkins in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  my daughter and i were discussing some of the popular songs that've been remade recently - seems like they're running out of new material - lol.

  anyway - rascal flatts remade the song 'life is a highway' that's on the disney movie 'cars' soundtrack.

  i said billy squire sang the original back in the early 80's --- but dd said she doesn't think so, but couldn't say who did.

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  RisingEagle

  It looks like you're both correct. It was a hit in 91 in Canada and charted in the US in 92.

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Is_a_Highway
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  5

  Men & Women and... Garbage Day

  by jeanniebeanz in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  garbage day at my house is always a harrowing experience... the night before, hubby will go through the house gathering anything that looks to him to be trash.

  having gotten in trouble before for throwing out some old but precious 'thing' he will now ask, "you going to keep this?

  " or "why are you hanging onto this junk?

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  RisingEagle

  Count the children? Now that's funny!

  My Mrs. keeps a pretty meticulous house, you know a place for everything and everything in its place. Our issue is that my stuff never seems to have a place. I find I have to check certain bags just make sure that certain things I want or need are kept. There are the bags that get taken out without a second check - bathroom bag, laundryroom bag and kitchen bags (well, except for one time she threw away some moldy bread I was keeping, I was trying to find a cure for penicillin). But there is always that one bag I have to inventory just to make sure that it doesn't have anything in it that is needed and may have been tossed. For instance, after we moved one time I found all the screws and bolts in the misc. bag that were needed to put back together the kitchen table as well as the bolts that hold the back on the recliner.

  Eagle