We have been married for 13 years and I think what if the situation was reversed and I had the breakdown? Would I want my wife to try and help me or just dump me and run? That would be easier, just to "abandon ship."..... "In sickness and health though???" I'm suprised with some peoples atitude you don't understand mental illness is the same as getting any other illness.
Hmm, ok, how do I put this without being beaten into a corner for voicing my opinion? Oh well, won't be the first time, probably not the last. When we all did the "till death to we part" thing, we went into knowing good and bad might come our way. But does that mean a woman/man should stay with an alcoholic, an abuser, a drug addict, no matter what? It could be argued that all the former are in fact, mentally ill and in need of help/self medicating. So when is the breaking point? When someone refuses to get help or shows no sign of trying to help themselves even when help is offered? Is one mental illness to be acceptable and another not? Bottom line Witness 007 only you can know when enough is enough. This is your life as well.
I was married to an alcoholic and to any who say I should have stuck it out, because I said, "for better or worse" you can kiss my derriere, thank you very much. No one should live in hell to "help" another person who isn't whole on their own, nor should anyone suffer a lifetime of servitude to uphold a vow they made under the pretense that it was two equal whole people going into it. I watched an aunt I dearly love endure years and years of hell with an abusive, mentally ill husband, who drank, beat her, berated her, but well, I guess he was "sick" so she should shut up and put up, cause after all, she married him right? She's a shell of a human being now, beaten down for so many years because she felt it was her duty as a wife to uphold some archaic vows to someone who's own actions betrayed them. He didn't cherish her above his own body, hardly! He was mentally ill, so she'd be a heartless bitch to have left him right? Instead she stayed, her children suffered and they are all messed up now, much more noble thing to do right?
Only you can decide what's right for you Witness, but from what I've seen and my personal experiences, there is no reward for martyrdom in marriage. In fact, living day in and day out with someone unwell mentally, can deteriorate your own mental well being. I suppose what I'm just trying to say which alot of people don't want to.....it's ok to say, I can't take this, it's not my job or responsibility to fix YOU. Because it isn't your responsibility to fix her. You wouldn't be a bad person for doing so, at all. You only get one life, your happiness is important. You can't make her happy, you can't fix her, you can simply exist in the chaos that ensues around you. Personally, that would not be a life I'd choose. But to each their own. We (meaning most of us here) support you whatever you decide and thru whatever journey lies ahead of you.
SS, of the "I don't want to be your personal Jesus class"
