Just read your latest post and went back to read this one too - I think it's great, you are quite a writer.
I am where you are too, I still believe in God/Jehovah (bit confused about which name to use right now though) and I still find comfort in the scriptures, but I can't believe this is the only true organisation chosen by God considering the way they treat people and their judgemental attitudes and conditional love. not Christlike
Ive realised I don't have to have all the answers straight away, but don't have to lose my faith entirely either, its going to be a slow process to help myself and my kids, but theres no rush. Armageddon isn't about to happen after all!
Hope you keep healing and the doubts and torments leave your mind soon....