due to some recent developments i find myself in a new place, and at this point i've lost all of my family and fri....oh that's right, i never really had any friends in the organization anyway.
just people that wanted something from me and a few people that i would invite to do things that occasionally said yes.
the recent rejections of me got me thinking, so let's take a rejection inventory.. i had to reject all of the holidays when my parents started studying.. i had to reject any worldly friends that i already had.. even family became rejected, and the new religion had some place in that.. i was rejected in school and bullied all of the time, not just because we were poor and i made good grades, but for jw reasons too.
So true that posting here really helps. I've only been researching my doubts for about 6 weeks, this site has become a kind of addiction.
We have been so careful about what to say and who to say it to for so long, its so freeing to be able to say exactly what you think/feel and be supported.
so, many of y'all know bits and pieces of my story of waking up, but i thought it might be nice to have it all in one place.. i was baptized at 11, auxiliary pioneered every summer, regular pioneer at 17, ministerial servant by 19, then went to bethel for a year.. i always had minor doubts from time to time, but nothing serious.
always dismissed doubts and decided to "just have faith.".
after leaving bethel, i was never really firing on all cylinders "spiritually speaking.
Thank you cappytan! I love posts like this - definitely the most helpful posts on here are people's real experiences of leaving the org, certainly for newbies like me.
Isn't it amazing how we let just one doubt in and the dominos all come tumbling down? And I love the fact that you were just conscientiously searching for information to back up your teaching to someone else, its not like you were looking for excuses to go and live a wild lifestyle, like the witnesses try to imply about everyone who leaves.
(no offense to you wild partiers out there - enjoy it!)
You sound so like me when you first started reading on here, some of the posts are so irreverant and critical of the GB, you feel really naughty, but can't help giggling (especially when it comes to the crazy antics of AMIII)
Where are you now? Are you fading/faded, do you still attend? How have your parents been? Sorry perhaps everyone else knows this. Any helpful tips about leaving quietly?
i've been lurking here for a while now, and i guess you could call me a fader.
i don't have hate in my heart for the organization that i spent most of my life in, but i have had an awakening.
luckily, so has my wife, and that way i don't feel so alone.
Just read your latest post and went back to read this one too - I think it's great, you are quite a writer.
I am where you are too, I still believe in God/Jehovah (bit confused about which name to use right now though) and I still find comfort in the scriptures, but I can't believe this is the only true organisation chosen by God considering the way they treat people and their judgemental attitudes and conditional love. not Christlike
Ive realised I don't have to have all the answers straight away, but don't have to lose my faith entirely either, its going to be a slow process to help myself and my kids, but theres no rush. Armageddon isn't about to happen after all!
Hope you keep healing and the doubts and torments leave your mind soon....
due to some recent developments i find myself in a new place, and at this point i've lost all of my family and fri....oh that's right, i never really had any friends in the organization anyway.
just people that wanted something from me and a few people that i would invite to do things that occasionally said yes.
the recent rejections of me got me thinking, so let's take a rejection inventory.. i had to reject all of the holidays when my parents started studying.. i had to reject any worldly friends that i already had.. even family became rejected, and the new religion had some place in that.. i was rejected in school and bullied all of the time, not just because we were poor and i made good grades, but for jw reasons too.
dubstepped - what an amazing, accurate and honest summary of your life as a JW.
For me the characterisation is 'guilt', a constant life of guilt and never feeling good enough. Now I'm waking up Im feeling 'guilty' for passing that on to my kids and making them reject all sorts of possibilities too...
Just for a lighter note, think of that film 'Yes man' with Jim Carey, now all the things and people you said no to all of those years you can say YES to! Thats a lot of opportunities to explore!
On a more serious note, I've just reached out to an ex-JW counsellor, I feel a bit better already, realised that so many people around the world are feeling like me too and its going to take time to figure things out and heal... maybe counselling would help you too?
i was thinking that maybe the monthly broadcasts are a occasion for some jw's to wake up.
before those broadcasts they probably imagined that the gobgoverning y members are some very special peopleand that you see in their behavior and words that they are "chosen".
but now all jw's can see them for who they really are: average men, some full of themselves, some ridiculous, some just normal men with nothing special.
I think jwtv would be off putting for the more conservative JWs, in UK for example, we don't go for the egotistical, self-congratulating thing generally and if it comes with an American accent and over the top gestures and fake expressions of how much they love and want to help us, even worse! Smacks way too much of tellyevangelism.
But what I think would do even more damage is seeing the GB convention talks where they're less careful, especially Anthony Morris re child baptism etc, 'explain that one to heaven' yuk! Also the praising of parents shunning their kids, talking about Armageddon dead as hot dogs on a spit, these talks could really wake people up, I hope a lot more of the r&if see those videos.
clip 3 minutes long.
ron and brenda sutton ................warwick 3 children
it was the missed association with family that brought them back.
Ecan6 It's a great point you make about not being shunned by our families of other religions, from which we converted. Personally my parents were not very happy about me studying with JWs at 16, getting baptized at 18, giving up a university place and marrying a JW at 19. But they've always been supportive, even respecting our stand on Xmas and birthdays over the years. My husbands family was staunch catholic, they weren't happy either with his religious conversion but they have respected it. Both sides have supported us, helped us out financially and in other ways over the years. The congregation has certainly never replaced them.
And yet now I'm supposed to believe that a religion which encourages parents to emotionally blackmail, cut off, ignore and isolate their children is 'the truth' , with its oh so obvious identifying mark of love and that its superior to those we left, don't think so.
just to give you a bit of background, i've been researching my doubts for over a month, i'm convinced that although they may have some things right, they have a lot of other things horribly wrong.
i'm still clinging to a faith in god, because i see a creator's hand in nature, and i believe in jesus and his teachings, love, mercy, compassion.....that if everyone truly applied these (including jws) then all would benefit.. but i read this article in march and it's been on my mind ever since.
where isis stone a young couple to death for sex before marriage (a bit graphic).. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3017800/sickening-images-blindfolded-bound-couple-brutally-stoned-death-fornication-isis-militants-iraq.html.
Freemindfade...
Thanks for your comments, unshackling is a good word; it's a strange and often painful but enlightening process,one I've only just started
Good point about apostasy, we better keep an eye out for the stones flying...
just to give you a bit of background, i've been researching my doubts for over a month, i'm convinced that although they may have some things right, they have a lot of other things horribly wrong.
i'm still clinging to a faith in god, because i see a creator's hand in nature, and i believe in jesus and his teachings, love, mercy, compassion.....that if everyone truly applied these (including jws) then all would benefit.. but i read this article in march and it's been on my mind ever since.
where isis stone a young couple to death for sex before marriage (a bit graphic).. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3017800/sickening-images-blindfolded-bound-couple-brutally-stoned-death-fornication-isis-militants-iraq.html.
Really interesting answers, guys, thank you, much food for thought and research... interesting comments on what the OT does actually say about sex before marriage. (still a bit harsh to stone for adultery etc, though!, my point was more about stoning being justified for what today are deemed various personal sins at most, not crimes)
Faye Dunaway, I like this answer, it is probably where I will end up eventually..
I've got many issues with God but I also have faith and I'm sticking with him and maybe he'll give me answers in this life, maybe the next...it's just nice to be free to have my own opinions and not have to take the Bible completely literally, all or nothing anymore.
People might say that is weak minded, that with enough research you should know one way or another - but isn't that what people, most far more intelligent than me, have been trying to figure out forevermore and yet:
No one has all of the answers about evil, God or the afterlife. Everyone has a piece of the puzzle but no one has the entire puzzle. (Nicely put JA)
it it seems like dogmatism is my big problem with JWs (or any religion) right now
just to give you a bit of background, i've been researching my doubts for over a month, i'm convinced that although they may have some things right, they have a lot of other things horribly wrong.
i'm still clinging to a faith in god, because i see a creator's hand in nature, and i believe in jesus and his teachings, love, mercy, compassion.....that if everyone truly applied these (including jws) then all would benefit.. but i read this article in march and it's been on my mind ever since.
where isis stone a young couple to death for sex before marriage (a bit graphic).. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3017800/sickening-images-blindfolded-bound-couple-brutally-stoned-death-fornication-isis-militants-iraq.html.
Just to give you a bit of background, I've been researching my doubts for over a month, I'm convinced that although they may have some things right, they have a lot of other things horribly wrong. I'm still clinging to a faith in God, because I see a creator's hand in nature, and I believe in Jesus and his teachings, love, mercy, compassion.....that if everyone truly applied these (including jws) then all would benefit.
But I read this article in March and it's been on my mind ever since. Where ISIS stone a young couple to death for sex before marriage (a bit graphic).
Anyone not a member of ISIS could surely only see this as brutal and barbaric. But the god that I worship not only condoned but commanded this to happen in the OT! How does that reconcile with the God of love? The standard JW answer is 'the end justified the means, he had to keep his holy nation free from contamination', no doubt the ISIS leaders use the same reasoning today...
Can anyone of faith help me with this? Also welcome comments from anyone from the agnostic to the atheist, I love the diversity here, it's great to hear all sides of an argument for a change.
clip 3 minutes long.
ron and brenda sutton ................warwick 3 children
it was the missed association with family that brought them back.
I just can't figure out where their reasoning is on this?
The WT about not emailing your df'd children was one of the main things that woke me up, especially as my son had just gone inactive (not baptized) thankfully. He's a bit confused and vulnerable and I spend most of my time guiding him and supporting him, without which I think he'd be sleeping on some druggee's sofa. They make no allowances for vulnerable youngsters. How many problems, from depression, to substance abuse even to suicides is this heartless policy going to lead to?
Even if you look at it from a believing JW point of view, why can't they allow families to judge for themselves how much association and support their own child needs, this 'one size fits all' cruelty is just the opposite of Jesus love for the individual. If this was the true religion wouldn't they be saying, 'although our daughter left our faith, we never stopped showing her love and supporting her, we were always there for her, she realized that this must be the truth because of the kindness she was shown".
I find it sickening actually and I'm still an active JW, wouldn't be surprised if this shocked and woke up a lot more parents out there. Hope (in a strange way) they have a similar experience at every DC.
