Want to piss them off continuously? Phone them collect and when the computer asks for your name, say loudly "SATAN" . You can hear the frustration without saying a word 'cause it's all animated.
worldtraveller
JoinedPosts by worldtraveller
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22
I propose a telephone campaign.
by DT inthis discussion started on this thread.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/150868/1.ashx.
it's hard to organise activity among ex-witnesses or any group that is primarily defined by what it isn't.
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99
This is All of Our " Let's Laugh at Something Funny " Thread-Feel Free
by flipper inso, at the end of a hard work week , i find it nice to have a cocktail, relax, and watch a comedy or tell funny stories !
so i welcome you to share anything funny in your life that has happened !
or someone else's life too !
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worldtraveller
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court
and screws you in front of everyone. -
99
This is All of Our " Let's Laugh at Something Funny " Thread-Feel Free
by flipper inso, at the end of a hard work week , i find it nice to have a cocktail, relax, and watch a comedy or tell funny stories !
so i welcome you to share anything funny in your life that has happened !
or someone else's life too !
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worldtraveller
What's the difference between ' ignorance and indifference'?
Well I don't know and I don't care.
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99
This is All of Our " Let's Laugh at Something Funny " Thread-Feel Free
by flipper inso, at the end of a hard work week , i find it nice to have a cocktail, relax, and watch a comedy or tell funny stories !
so i welcome you to share anything funny in your life that has happened !
or someone else's life too !
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worldtraveller
SO WHO IS DOING THE WORK?The population of the USA is 300 million.160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school.Which leaves 55 million to do the work.Of this there are 40 million employed by the federal government.Leaving 15 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188, 000 people in hospitals.Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And there you are,sitting on your ass,at your computer, reading jokes.Nice. Real nice
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99
This is All of Our " Let's Laugh at Something Funny " Thread-Feel Free
by flipper inso, at the end of a hard work week , i find it nice to have a cocktail, relax, and watch a comedy or tell funny stories !
so i welcome you to share anything funny in your life that has happened !
or someone else's life too !
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worldtraveller
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo machine.What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale
and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap." -
99
This is All of Our " Let's Laugh at Something Funny " Thread-Feel Free
by flipper inso, at the end of a hard work week , i find it nice to have a cocktail, relax, and watch a comedy or tell funny stories !
so i welcome you to share anything funny in your life that has happened !
or someone else's life too !
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worldtraveller
The good ol' days
OLDER THAN DIRT
"Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?"
"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him.
"All the food was slow."
"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"
"It was a place called 'at home,'" I explained. "Grandma cooked every
day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the
dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was
allowed to sit there until I did like it."
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going
to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how
I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his
system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a
golf course, travelled out of the country or had a credit card. In
their later years they had something called a store card. The card
was good only at Farmers (now Myers).
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because
we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably
50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that.
It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored
plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and
the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It
was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across
someone's lawn on a sunny day
Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.
I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie."
When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese
slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too.
It's still the best pizza I ever had.
We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in
our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in
the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you
had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't
already using the line
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered
newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a
paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at
4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents
from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50cents
and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the
ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the
movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French
kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did
in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to
see them.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may
want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren.
Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December)
and he brought me an old tomato sauce bottle. In the bottle top was a
stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was,
but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a
salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of
the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with because we didn't have
steam irons. Man, I am old.
Older Than Dirt Quiz:
How many do you remember?
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.
Ratings at the bottom.
1. Cho Cho bar
2. Drive ins
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soft drink machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or milk bars with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with foil stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. Packards
10. Blue flashbulb
11. Telephone numbers with 2 letters and 4 numbers
12. Peashooters
13. Wash tub wringer
14. 78 RPM records
15. Metal ice trays with lever
16. Studebakers
17. Cracker night
18. Using hand signals for cars without turn signals
19. Bread delivered by horse and cart
20. Head lights dimmer switches on the floor
21. Ignition switches on the dashboard
22. Heaters mounted on the inside of the wall
23. Real ice boxes
24. Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards
25. Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!
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99
This is All of Our " Let's Laugh at Something Funny " Thread-Feel Free
by flipper inso, at the end of a hard work week , i find it nice to have a cocktail, relax, and watch a comedy or tell funny stories !
so i welcome you to share anything funny in your life that has happened !
or someone else's life too !
-
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worldtraveller
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex,
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun
at night -
22
I propose a telephone campaign.
by DT inthis discussion started on this thread.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/150868/1.ashx.
it's hard to organise activity among ex-witnesses or any group that is primarily defined by what it isn't.
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worldtraveller
I think they thrive on controversy. Might be a better idea to completely avoid them. Confrontation seems to increase the rhetoric. Complete ignorance of them will alienate them. Just like when I told my JW asociate our discussion was finished. He was definitely unhappy. I on the other hand am quite content to be at peace with my beliefs.
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107
Ian (Dansk) in hospital with CMV
by Alleymom inhi, everyone ---.
claire asked me to let the board know that ian is back in the hospital and expected to be there for about a week.. those of you who have been following the weekly vigil thread know that his cmv has returned.
the virus is not responding adequately to the tablets, so ian needs to be medicated intravenously.. please keep ian and claire in your prayers.. marjorie.
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worldtraveller
Here's hoping for a significant improvement.
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worldtraveller
Refraining from eating blood, but not having met a single witness who is a vegetarian. I thawed out some pork yesterday and what do you think is at the bottom of the bowl??
How can eating and a transfusion be the same unless the needle is swallowed??? Stupid, really stupid!