Posts by ldrnomo

21

Dear Watchtower?

by ldrnomo in

i thought it would be fun to start a question and answer series.

i'll be the watchtower and you send in questions.. here's an example:.

dear watchtower,.

We are saddened to hear that you have not been to a Kindom Hall in many years. We hope you are still sending us money. It is too bad that your are listening to the specious teachings of bitter former brothers and sisters on apostate websites. As you mentioned we have created a special warrior wizard who we like to call Sparlock. Please be assured that all Governing Body members have stopped sleeping with their own personal Sparlock charecters and have decided as a group to throw into the trash bin.

We created the film and charecter because our young ones are leaving us left and right and we wanted to stem the tide so with much prayer and meditation we decided to come up with a grand series of mindless poorly done videos that would capture the minds of children from 3-6 years old. We know that the spirit of the world is overtaking our Rank and File members and we needed to do somthing drastic so we chose to start a campaign to win the hearts and minds of young children.

The Watchtower

21

Dear Watchtower?

by ldrnomo in

i thought it would be fun to start a question and answer series.

i'll be the watchtower and you send in questions.. here's an example:.

dear watchtower,.

ldrnomo

Dear Mallet,

In answer to your first question, as you know the Bible was long written before the Watchtower so the Faithful Slave has determined that any new light presented by the Watchtower comes before the old light found in the Bible therefore Watchtower comes first.

We are glad that you faithfully pray to us when you need help. Of course you know that one person is much less important then the spreading of the good news of the kingdom so if your having a hard time then just simply get a job. It can't be that hard, there are many fast food restaurants throughout the world. We of course have a very important work to do and it requires a considerable amount money to build buildings, go on trips around the world to give talks and buy printers. We have been very succesful getting our brothers from all over the earth to donate all the money they have so we can continue to eat food at the proper time provide food at the proper time we have come out with a number of new projects because of you sending us your hard earned money.

There is a new video out you may have heard of it. It is designed to brainwash young children to serve us without question. Without you money we wouldn't be able to come up with these wild new videos

Thank you and bless you and we hope you GET A JOB

The Watchtower

21

Dear Watchtower?

by ldrnomo in

i thought it would be fun to start a question and answer series.

i'll be the watchtower and you send in questions.. here's an example:.

dear watchtower,.

ldrnomo

Dear Timebandit,

As the watchtower says, "cleanliness is next to Godliness" it is good to keep clean, however when touching yourself in certain areas causes arousel you should either cut off that part of you body or refrain from cleaning it. As Christians we realize that it is not important to become aroused sexually in anyway because it takes away from the sanctity of the clean God Jehovah. So it is sometimes better to stop the practice all together. However, if you choose to stop taking showers don't come into any New York area Kindom Halls that members of the GB attend.

The Watchtower

21

Dear Watchtower?

by ldrnomo in

i thought it would be fun to start a question and answer series.

i'll be the watchtower and you send in questions.. here's an example:.

dear watchtower,.

ldrnomo

Dear TOTH

As you know, Poop is a worldly thing, the Bible says, "the world is corupt and so is it's poop so therfore keep away from all things stinky and refrain from poop for it is the work of Satan"

If you do have to poop in the future, make sure you do it in the Kingdom Hall where all things are made clean.

The Watchtower

PS, don't poop in any Kingdom Halls in New York because one of us GB members may be going there

21

Dear Watchtower?

by ldrnomo in

i thought it would be fun to start a question and answer series.

i'll be the watchtower and you send in questions.. here's an example:.

dear watchtower,.

ldrnomo

Dear TD

Of course the Watchtower magazine warns us about associating with apostates because they are "mentally deseased" if you have touched the keyboard that goes directlyt to an apostate website, it is possibly too late for you so according to all the members of the GB, you will be destroyed. You will probably fall into a deep chasm in the ground and be swollowed up.

As far as sports goes, the watchtower states, " bad association spoils useful watchtower habits". in the article it stated that school sports foster a love for fun excercise, socaial acceptence and other wicked things of the world. The spirit of the air is all around but it is especially strong in sports locker rooms. It is good that your parents forbid you from playing these games because you may have become succesful in some way in the WORLD which would of course make you worldly. So write on a chalkboard 100 times, "School sports are bad"

but I guess it doesn't really matter because YOUR TOAST

The Watchtower

21

Dear Watchtower?

by ldrnomo in

i thought it would be fun to start a question and answer series.

i'll be the watchtower and you send in questions.. here's an example:.

dear watchtower,.

ldrnomo

Dear Sparlock,

Good question. As you know, the Bible talks about many times when Jehovah wanted to do somthing that went against his own laws of nature he would perform miracles. These miracles are not the same as the magic performed by his creation like makeing a magic warrior from plastic it is highly likely that those magazines were in the garbage because the articles in them were so boring that they were not read and just thrown away. Miracles are the only magic that is allowed because only Jehovah is the great magician.

PS, how did you escape from the bin?

The Watchtower

27

I've never seen JWD/JWN so obsessed re. Sparlock

by UnConfused in

jw
friends

did the generation change or the child abuse revelation spawn this many threads?.

ldrnomo

It's because we are all mentally diseased.

21

Dear Watchtower?

by ldrnomo in

i thought it would be fun to start a question and answer series.

i'll be the watchtower and you send in questions.. here's an example:.

dear watchtower,.

ldrnomo

I thought it would be fun to start a question and answer series. I'll be the Watchtower and you send in questions.

Here's an example:

Dear Watchtower,

Today my granddaughter was playing a computer game on the Disney Junior site and she started watching a story that had a magic beanstalk in it. What should I do?

troubled grandpa

Dear troubled grandpa,

You should immediatly tell your granddaughter that Jehovah hates magic and she should too. Tell her to close up the computer and throw it in the trash because if she doesn't, Jehovah will hate her too.

Go ahead and ask any question for the Watchtower.

26

hey

by jnrtigbfxd0 in

jw
friends

hey everybody im new here.

currently a pioneer in my early 20's, started straight out of high school, now wanting to go to college and working on getting out of pioneering.

also a former bethelite, ill make a thread on that soon.. .

ldrnomo

Hope you can totally escape soon

congrats on removing the blinders

15

The Blood Issue.........Maybe You Forgot.

by Night Owl in

jw
friends

the blood issue is not a medical issue.. if blood transfusions were 100% guaranteed to be safe, jw's would still refuse them.. it is all about their interpretation of certain scriptures concerning blood.. you can make every reference known to medicine in mankinds history, and it doesn't make a bit of a difference.. it is a religious issue.. nightowl.

ldrnomo

I have not forgotten