I totally know the feeling of guilt followed by a zeal to research everything, I went through a similar process with the Revelation book. My aunt and uncle are long time multi-generational witnesses that happened to have an amazing library of old literature that I had never seen in person before, and given the society's Orwellian erasing of its own history, I had never had access to through the WT library or my kingdom hall library.
What a revelation, pun not intended! After reading an original issue of The Finished Mystery I knew I was in a crackpot religion, what a bunch of malarkey! Book after book, I was exposed to the false teachings and old light that nobody talked about anymore. My studies at University sealed the deal, and I'm now a dyed in the wool atheist.
Congrats on your awakening, Cappytan.