Posts by Dorktacular

49

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

by zeroday in

jw
friends

are you a democrat, a republican, or a southerner?.

here is a little test that will help you decide.. .

the answer can be found by posing the following question:.

Dorktacular

I live in the South. I carry a loaded hand gun. That's not because I'm from the South. That's because I have a brain. My brain knows that somebody who means to harm me or other law-abiding citizens might be carrying a weapon. That's not southern; that's just common sense. I'm originally from New Jersey.

As far as shooting them 3,000 times and wanting to mount the carcas above my fireplace........ Nah, I'll pass. Besides, I hope all of the practice I get at the gun range would mean that my marksmanship is good enough to drop somebody with no more than one or two shots. One well-placed .45 caliber slug to the head or chest should take care of it. Thankfully, I've never had to shoot anyone, and I hope I will never need to. I have had to produce my weapon on two occasions, and both times just the sight of the weapon ended the encounter. Muggers and would-be robbers don't like it when their victims have weapons. It kind of takes away their advantage! The biggest, baddest street thug will crap himself when he hears the slide of a large caliber handgun cock in a dark alley.

36

favorite rock gutiarist

by megaflower in

jw
friends

eddie van halen

Dorktacular

We went to the Van Halen concert last night.... Eddie's gotta be one of the best.

My two favorites (who are dead) is of course, Jimmi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn.

20

I'm in love...

by mrsjones5 in

jw
friends

with a a body wash!

omg, i just tried a product from dove's new body wash line, energizing grapefruit & lemongrass, and i absolutely love it!

then yesterday i found the deodorant and beauty soap bars with the same scent.

Dorktacular

Low Key, at least your wife is sniffing stuff at the grocery store. I should own stock in the Bath & Bodyworks company. My wife would spend 80% of every paycheck buying crap there if I didn't stop her. She can spend hours in there smelling all kinds of crap. It's not like she doesn't have perfume and stuff; I bought her plenty of expensive perfumes that she likes. She just feels the need to buy more crap at Bath & Bodyworks. I know I'm not alone on this. My brother's wife is the same way. His wife even buys all their candles and oils and stuff. His house reeks so bad of Bath & Bodyworks stuff, we have to go out in the garage to sniff some gasoline to clear our sinuses. Bath & Bodyworks is like crack to the women; once they get a taste, they'll spend everything they have to get more.

59

a couple of movies I don't get

by Hortensia in

jw
friends

i watched "children of men" a couple of nights ago.

it was pretty interesting, but i have to say i didn't get it completely.

maybe because i missed the beginning.

Dorktacular

Tarantino is starting to lose his edge, I think. Too bad. I love most of his stuff. Pulp Fiction, Four Rooms, Resevoir Dogs... awesome. He needs to make some more of those.

19

I love my parents but...

by mrsjones5 in

hubby just told me that my father and mother accused me of stealing a mug from their house when i visited them in october of last year.

my parents sent that mug to me in a box along with some other stuff when they moved to their current house close to four years ago.

my husband knew this and defended me quite nicely but they took the mug with them when they left.

Dorktacular

My grandmother lived to be 106. When she was in her late 90s, she started accusing people of stealing things. She swore up and down that my aunt stole a ruby ring from her. For weeks, that's all she talked about. We found the ring in the bottom of a trunk long after she died. Old people get weird. If I ever start accusing people of stealing toilet paper, just shoot me.

59

a couple of movies I don't get

by Hortensia in

jw
friends

i watched "children of men" a couple of nights ago.

it was pretty interesting, but i have to say i didn't get it completely.

maybe because i missed the beginning.

Dorktacular

Hostel was awesome!!

Bug (or Bugged??) was stupid.

I love all the Saw movies, too. Yay! Blood and gore!!!

8

So what's the deal about Jdubs always being late

by ldrnomo in

i noticed early on that many dubs are late for everything almost all the time what do you suppose the reasons are?

Dorktacular

Everyone is late once in a while, but habitual late people piss me off. In business you learn that people that are late send the following message: You are not important. I am. You should wait for me.

Lateness is a sign of disrespect. When you are late, you are disrespectful. Period. I am not late, and I rarely tolerate people who are.

The JWs that are late are the ones who feel really important about their status within the JW organization. They may think that they deserve to be late to meetings because the rules don't apply to them. And that crap may fly at the Kingdumb Hell. Where they make their mistake is when they think that self-appointed importance carries over into the real world. When they try that crap at work one too many times, they find themselves unemployed. I've seen it happen.

Bottom line, be on time. Learn to read a watch and schedule your time. Don't be a disrespectful dick. The end.

4

Guess who they are. Add any you may have: Ralph Heroux etc

by laneh in

jw
friends

.

Dorktacular

The fourth picture looks like a guy they just hired here.... We all secretly suspect that at least 2 lamp shades in his apartment are made from human skin....

59

a couple of movies I don't get

by Hortensia in

jw
friends

i watched "children of men" a couple of nights ago.

it was pretty interesting, but i have to say i didn't get it completely.

maybe because i missed the beginning.

Dorktacular

Pulp Fiction is possibly the greatest movie of all time. I've seen it so many times, it hurts!

When I saw the previews of The Village, I thought it was going to be great. My wife and I went to see it. We were so pissed off by that waste of film that we now refuse to watch any more M. Knight Shamalamadingdong's movies. Every one of his movies suck. Signs sucked. The Village sucked. I don't know who keeps paying that dork to make more movies.

I don't get summer movies for the most part. You basically have two choices for summer movies now... You can watch the latest, greatest movie based on a cartoon that's based on a comic book character. These movies are great if you're 5 years old. The problem with these movies is that most of the kids out there have never even read a comic book, so the movies are really for 35 year old guys who still live at home in their parent's basement collecting comic books and fashioning their own super hero costumes out of scraps of old underwear and their mom's torn pantyhose. Why does anybody watch these? Just ask: They have great special effects! Great! Why don't they just show 2 hours of train wrecks or something?

The other choice is the latest action flick made by some ex-football player or pro-wrestler. It's always the same: 2 hours of shit blowing up; maybe a titty or two thrown in for good measure.... but no story line. And, let's not forget.... That movie had GREAT special effects!

There's a third choice that's seemed to develop in the last 5 or so years. It's the Midieval Fantasy Film... You know the one.... If you're into creepy guys who collect swords and play dungeons and dragons, these are the flicks for you! If they don't stop with the Narnia movies and Harry Peter and the Sorcerer's Bone crap, I'm gonna puke! Jeeesus! Wizards and Warlocks and crap... Again, I'm sure there is a whole subset of the American populace that just loves these movies. I'm sure these people also live in basements, except they spend most of their time on Ebay collecting Harry Potter's underwear or the Narnia kid's tooth brush.

What we need is another Clint Eastwood or John Wayne! Manly Movies! Dirty Harry! Charles Bronson! Death Wish! We need more movies like The Godfather and Good Fellas. Stop the Wussification of America! How about some more Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci?? Anyway, I'm rambling again. Back to work....

61

are men better listeners, or women?

by wings in

jw
friends

just a question.

i'll withhold my answer for now.

.

Dorktacular

I'm not sure who the better listener is... I spend a lot of time listening to my wife. Every morning, I listen to her ask me about what the weather is like outside, then she asks me if her clothes look ok, then she asks me for money. Then, at work, she'll call me 10 times a day and I listen to her tell me about crap that going on at her job. Then, she'll call me on the way home so I can listen to her tell me about the guy who just cut her off. When I get home, I get to listen again to all the stuff I already listened to since 6:00 AM that morning. I usually fall asleep at night to the sound of me listening to the sound of my wife telling me more stuff.

My wife, on the other hand? I'm not even sure she knows what I do for a living. She never listens to what I have to say, and if I dare try to interrupt one of her monologues or soliloquys with my 2 cents, she looks at me with this look on her face that says "Why the hell are YOU talking now? I do the talking!!!". So, I usually don't talk, because she doesn't want to listen. Then, I get accused of the terrible crime of never opening up to her. I tell her that I don't talk that much because for one, she's usually doing all the talking and for two, when I do talk she isn't interested. Usually right about that time, she stops listening.....

So, yeah.... women are the better listeners.