Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.The answer can be found by posing the following question:You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
and two small children.Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What
do you do?...............................THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN: Democrat's Answer :Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Kimber have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and
make this happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. ..................................................................Republican's Answer:BANG!............Southerner's Answer:BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
by zeroday 49 Replies latest jw friends
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zeroday
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IP_SEC
Southerner Definitely lol!
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SixofNine
hmm, I guess as both a southerner and a democrat, my response is like a republican in this parable. Not sure why the writer felt the need to infer that southerners are hysterical, overwrought, child abusing pussies... but oh well. ;)
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wednesday
he he, I found myself a bit in the dem group- -why is the street deserted? why am i carrying this high powered gun anyhow? lol
answer in this scenario, shoot.
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IP_SEC
Not sure why the writer felt the need to infer that southerners are hysterical, overwrought, child abusing pussies...
Aint we??
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journey-on
That's a pretty good caricature. It exaggerates yet captures the basic essence of the general mind-set of each.
I like this one, too. (Remember, it's a generalization and is not meant to offend, but it captures the underlying nature of the two.)
Liberals - A History Lesson
History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gathers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and, would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get men to the beer.
These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as "girlymen".
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish, but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes and generally anyone who works productively outside government.
Conservative who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed, and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in World History -
Forscher
I guess Republican.
Why waste the rest of my ammo on that scumbag if one shot does the job?
Forscher
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owenfieldreams
Definitely Southern.
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dinah
Southerner here!!
Hollow points!!
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IP_SEC
Why waste the rest of my ammo on that scumbag if one shot does the job?
If you load your own, ammo is cheap lol!!
