what a rude response. any jw worth their salt would of asked about your upbringing and why you didn't stay with it. At least he affirmed your decision to get out of it. You handled it perfectly.
Posts by V1710
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37can you feel the love?
by bigdreaux intoday i was at the dealership.
i was standing next to the service department.
i struck up a conversation with an elderly guy standing there.
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34
what about NOT making new friends...life as a hermit for most part
by oompa ini actually saved a classified ad from an east coast paper that needed experienced crew on a 48' sailing yacht.
i was at this town for my 10th wedding anniversary and staying at a nice b&b.
this was back in april.
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V1710
i prefer my own company to that of others. our business requires that i interact with the public but i've not made nor care to make too many close friends. i think in part because so many boundaries were crossed with JW's, i need to keep well defined of who i am and who i'm not. being by yourself gives you time to figure out who you are and what kind of relationship, if any you want with God.
try to enjoy nature as it can replenish your energy and give you new insights. it sounds is if you and your family might be parting ways and that's ok, albeit sad. keep in touch with folks here and if your feeling like your experiencing some depression talk to a profressional. Take Care.
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JW suicide?
by V1710 ini just heard that a person i knew who was one of jw's committed suicide.
her name was sharon scarpelli.
she lived in michigan, pennsylvania and south dakota.
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V1710
JK,
thanks for the condolences. She always had a smile on her face. I often wondered if there were any other emotions, but I was the one who was "crazy" Makes me want to scream. It's amazing how so much can come back to you within minutes.V
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JW suicide?
by V1710 ini just heard that a person i knew who was one of jw's committed suicide.
her name was sharon scarpelli.
she lived in michigan, pennsylvania and south dakota.
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V1710
I just heard that a person I knew who was one of JW's committed suicide. Her name was Sharon Scarpelli. She lived in Michigan, Pennsylvania and South Dakota. Her husband, Frank was an elder, a very controlling one at that. Does anyone know anything about this? Please pm me if you do.
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A really good movie for XJWs to appreciate
by Gregor injust out on dvd, "the lives of others" subtitled german.
a fact based story of big brother in east germany under the soviet secret police, the stasi.
chilling to realize it is all based on fact.
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V1710
Thanks for the movie suggestion. We are always looking for good movies. Will order it from Netflix and share my commentary after watching it.
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70
The fade is over, talked to my parents last night. (very very long)
by Paralipomenon inthere would never be a good time to have this conversation.
quite different from most people raised a witness, i have very few horror stories about my upbringing.
my family was just a family, my mom and dad fought and argued, my siblings and i misbehaved and got in trouble.. .
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V1710
Para,
You did a what was right...you remained true to yourself and your family. Don't let your parent's hurt feelings keep you from feeling free. It's their belief system, not you that has disappointed them. At least all the cards are on the table and you don't have to pretend anymore. Enjoy being yourself.
"One must leave the shade of the family tree to have a place in the sun."
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26
My JW Experience
by V1710 ini've been lurking here for a few years on and off.
i faded from the borg seven years ago and haven't had one regret since.
the only regret i have is wasting twenty years of my life and my children's lives.
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V1710
All the welcome's and comments are appreciated. Isn't unconditional love great?
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better offf dead?
by matt_holgate inive been visiting for some time, but until now havent said much.
i would appreciate some observations on the latest episode between me and my jw mother, like whether this is something i should ignore or try to resolve.. i was dfd at thirteen, five years ago, for being a gay atheist.
i didnt become homeless only because my mother was/is ill with ms, we maintained a just workable relationship so that i could stay and help her look after herself.. the last three years relations became more tense as i began to piece together what had happened since she joined the org when i was about 3. she demanded yesterday to know why, and i let her have it.. i told her how fucking petrified of life i was as a kid, hearing about armageddon and the world.
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V1710
Matt,
Sorry to hear you didn't get what you needed from your mom, then or now. It would of meant so much to you if she could of listened to what you were saying and apologized for putting you through all the JW crap. How sad that you were disfellowshipped for being a 13 year old boy who was struggling with your sexual identity. You needed understanding and acceptance. I don't think your mom meant that you would be better off dead because she doesn't love you, it's the religion speaking. How sad. -
108
Hello everyone, first post.
by Frjprice inhello, i just wanted to introduce myself to everyone here - as i will be posting here.. i grew up a jw and pioneered, was a ministerial servant, ect, i was in the organization for 17 years.
i left and naturally my family did as they were told and cut off all communication with me.
this left a horrible taste in my mouth for not just jw's, but any religion for that matter.
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V1710
welcome. i posted my experience today also. will check out the website.
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26
My JW Experience
by V1710 ini've been lurking here for a few years on and off.
i faded from the borg seven years ago and haven't had one regret since.
the only regret i have is wasting twenty years of my life and my children's lives.
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V1710
I've been lurking here for a few years on and off. I faded from the borg seven years ago and haven't had one regret since. The only regret I have is wasting twenty years of my life and my children's lives. Thankfully they are all out and are very forgiving, although they live with the residual effects of all the control that dominated our lives.
I started studying with JW's in 1978 when I was disappointed with life, family and marriage. The Vietnam war had ended and I was aware and afraid of nuclear weapons. i had a friend from high school that went to a commune in New Mexico and came back home and began studying with JW's. Paradise, seeing my father who passed away when I was 3 and a loving brotherhood sounded wonderful so I started studying out of that little blue Truth book.
I try to look at the good that happened in my life and I'm appreciative that the religion helped me become drug and substance free. I made some good friends while my children were growing up, which I didn't have as a child or young adult. My husband at the time was an unbeliever so I didn't fit in with the elders etc., so I aux. pioneered a few times of year to be considered theocratic.One of my fleshly brothers was going through a divorce and he became one of JW's with my help. :(
In the 1980's I became extremely depressed due to being abused as a child. I grew up in an orphanage, thus my alias v1710 was my laundry number. The elders weren't at all helpful, although they tried. I began professional counseling which lasted for over ten years. My couselor never told me to leave JW's, but helped me learn to think and reason for myself. When I began having doubts about the religion he never told me what to do, but told me to ask myself what legitimacy is there in what JW's say, what legitimacy is there in what I believe and what do I feel most comfortable with. This helped me not feel guilty about going to work secularly and other things. My biggest disappointment with JW's was when they came out with the new light about the generation in Matthew. It was after that that I didn't want to go door to door. I didn't understand the new light and couldn't knock on people's doors and teach them something I didn't understand or believe in. There was also an elder in the congregation that was very controlling and that was more than I could handle. When my older children left the religion by and I wasn't supposed to have contact with them I drew the line. I didn't have a family when I was a child and there was no way I was going to give up having a relationship with my children. They were teenagers and still needed guidance and direction.
Although my husband wasn't a JW ( in fact he was df'd my marriage ended). We were both happy to be out of an unhappy situation. I began to fade after I separated from him. I began attending meetings at other congregations, not to fade, but because I thought it might be better elsewhere, it wasn't. It helped the fade as the elders never new where and if I was attending meetings. I found a little book at Barnes & Nobles about toxic religion and it referred to JW's. I cried and cried and called the author. He was kind and got me in touch with Randy at Freeminds. I read Crisis In Cons. by Ray Franz and couldn't believe how the religion was rotten from the top. I thought it was just the congregation I was in, but he described perfectly what I was experiencing locally. I remember feeling so guilty for reading the book and would hide it my closet in case anything happened to me and someone found it I wouldn't be disfellowshipped and somehow I thought hiding it from JW's was like hiding it from God. That says a lot doesn't it?
I continued to pray to God and accepted Christ as my savior. I was led out of the desert into a land flowing with milk and honey. I could of never imagined all the wonderful things that would happen to me after I was free. When I mentally left the religion I walked around for days singing "Born Free" I met a caring loving man and we've been married for over six years. I've tried to attend churches a few times, but organized religion will never be part of my life again.
For the first few years I wouldn't speak to any JW's as I wanted everyone and everything out of my life. I had my husband burn all the books and literature. This past summer JW's stopped by and wanted to talk. I was polite and tried not to get into anything "spiritual" but they insisted so I gave it to them. It was the day after the massacre at Virginia Tech and of course she brought up the how terrible the tv and internet are for people. I said that had nothing to do with what that boy did. He was mentally ill. A lot of people watch tv and use the internet and don't commit crimes to that degree or any degree. I told her that when evil happens there is also the greatest propensity for good and that a lot of good would come out of the situation. I told her about my little grandaughter who has juvenile diabetes and all the wonderful people we've met due to the condition. The woman (I won't call them sisters and brothes or use any of their other terms) began attacking the catholic religion because of the abuse that happens. I asked her how she could do that when the same things happens with JW's. She asked me if I kew of someone personally and I said "YES" She said "Well, there is no perfect organization" I told here "That's the point....I'm not looking for any organization. No one will ever put me or God in a box again. The greatest thing I've ever heard is the word GRACE and if I die tomorrow I know that God loves me just the way I am right now." Her husband quickly spoke up and said "We have to get going>"
After they left I felt so good for having my say. I thought back to the young 20 year old girl I was that swallowed everything they said hook, line and sinker and had no regrets about what I said to them. I appreciate this forum as it verifies my perception of reality and I don't feel so alone in what I went through.