You cannot make the experiences of an entire life disappear just like that. Insomniac put it so well. Give yourself some time. Be gentle with yourself. Your mind has been through a lot. Focus on the beauty and freedom of your new life. Easier said than done. But you will get there, one day at a time.
And a warm welcome to this forum. You will find people here who have gone through very difficult times. But most of all, you will find good people who are more than willing to help and encourage you in the right direction. Because they have been there...