Posts by Steve

17

I ran into the C.O.B.E.'s wife....

by 3rdgen in

i was shopping, looking at a handbag, when m****** rushed up to me and gave me a hug.

startled, i looked up to see a sister who was never friendly when i attended her cong.

over 13 yrs ago.

Steve_C

Hi-Five to 3rdgen!

C.O.B.E ? Vat ist das?

That's " Coordinator of the Body of Elders", formerly known as Prince "Presiding Overseer" (PO).

To me, they are poison, having stolen my youthful vigor. Shame on them.

I hear you Scott77.

50

Conti Trial Transcripts and Court Documents of Attorney Zalkin's cases of 5 victims WT settled out-of-court, San Diego, all available to download using MediaFire

by AndersonsInfo in

the conti trial transcripts have been uploaded using mediafire.. .

conti trial transcript: http://www.mediafire.com/?oj940x48xuuaa.

the public domain court documents for the 5 victims wt settled out-of-court case in may-june 2012, attorney irwin zalkin, san diego, calif., have been uploaded using mediafire:.

WT recently settled out-of-court with 5 victims of JW serial molester. Court documents now available to post on any website

by AndersonsInfo in

on may 20, 2010, a lawsuit was filed in san diego, california.

defendant, the watchtower of ny, settled out-of-court for an unknown amount of money with the plaintiffs just weeks before the candace conti trial began at the end of may 2012 in oakland, california.

the law firm representing the five plaintifs in this case was .

A happy life for a gay ex-JW

by Steve_C in

i'm not sure if this is the correct place to put this, but here goes.. i've posted a few times before about different subjects.

in some of those posts ive mentioned that im gay, and in others ive referred to my wife and kids.

i thought id share a bit more information to any who were curious about this.

Steve_C

@Kudra: Yep, there are so many non-traditional families out there that are thriving. If you've seen Mrs. Doubtfire, the movie's final words about what constitutes "family" always brings me to tears.

@Billy: I should know better than to be drinking something while reading your posts—now I have to clean the coffee from my monitor! You always crack me up

22

A happy life for a gay ex-JW

by Steve_C in

i'm not sure if this is the correct place to put this, but here goes.. i've posted a few times before about different subjects.

in some of those posts ive mentioned that im gay, and in others ive referred to my wife and kids.

i thought id share a bit more information to any who were curious about this.

Steve_C

Thanks to all of you for your comments and for sharing your stories, too. It's heartwarming to feel your support and understanding.

@jamiebowers: LOL, the way our situation ended up almost makes me believe in angelic direction

@darthweef: I'm so happy to hear that your coming out to your wife was a positive experience and didn't create enemies. Your "awkward lovemaking" comment made me laugh because I can so identify with it. When we got married, my new bride and I didn't even consummate the marriage until three days later, during our honeymoon trip to—where else?—San Francisco!

@irondork: Wow, thanks for sharing your story! It makes me wonder if the elders would have let you have a male roommate...damned either way. It's great that you both learned TTATT and you don't have to give a damn anymore about what any elders think. Your friend sounds like a true best friend, and I'm sure you'll find a way to discuss what's best for both of your futures.

@Hoab: Once again, you've provided proof positive that elders are not trained professional counselors and have no business giving certain types of advice. I'm glad you found someone with whom you can be yourself and enjoy happiness. I chuckled at your wedding night woody comment. So, how did yours truly and his lesbian wife manage in the bedroom? Well, let's just say that the majority of conjugal visits wouldn't have happened unless at least one of us had been drinking, LOL.

16

Questions about disfellowshipping and 'non-sanctioned' shunning

by Steve_C in

basically, i have a couple of questions about the current rules regarding disfellowshipping and shunning.

by current i mean since 1999.. sorry, but i have to put a bit of my history to clarify my situation.. i was a born-in who was baptized in 1983. got married to a sister in 1984. then the kids came.

by the mid-1990s my wife and i had become increasingly irregular, so that by 1999 we were both inactive and only went to the memorial and conventions.. in 1999 i committed adultery, confessed to the elders, and had a judicial committee.

Steve_C

Hope you're not feeling too blue, and it's great you've maintained a relationship with your kids.

Thanks; I'm past the blue period. Since my mom had been sick for awhile, I think I had already mentally prepared myself for her passing.

I have a great relationship with both my kids and my ex-wife. I wrote a bit more about that here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/social/relationships/229546/1/A-happy-life-for-a-gay-ex-JW#4421320

22

A happy life for a gay ex-JW

by Steve_C in

i'm not sure if this is the correct place to put this, but here goes.. i've posted a few times before about different subjects.

in some of those posts ive mentioned that im gay, and in others ive referred to my wife and kids.

i thought id share a bit more information to any who were curious about this.

Steve_C

Hi,

I'm not sure if this is the correct place to put this, but here goes.

I've posted a few times before about different subjects. In some of those posts I’ve mentioned that I’m gay, and in others I’ve referred to my wife and kids. I thought I’d share a bit more information to any who were curious about this.

Although I've felt same-sex attraction since puberty, as a born-in JW I constantly fought against those feelings and pretty much hated that aspect of my life. I even went so far as to get married in the congregation, hoping that would ‘straighten me out.’ Before the marriage, I confided my feelings with an elder. His advice? Get married and trust in Jehovah (!)

I consider myself very, very fortunate, though. Thirteen years of marriage and three children later, I cheated on my wife, confessed and revealed my gay feelings, felt horrible about what I did to my family, and waited for the expected divorce and disfellowshipping.

Neither happened.

The judicial committee felt I was repentant (I honestly felt contrite at the time) and didn’t disfellowship me. Nonetheless, I became completely inactive after the judicial meeting and never went to another meeting or any other JW function. Freedom!

When I came out to my wife after cheating on her, she confessed to me that she was gay also. It turns out that both of us, as born-in JWs, had gotten married for the same reason. She had also confided in an elder before the wedding, and had received the same advice as me! Of course, looking back on our relationship, we should have seen the many signs, but we had JW blinders on and were both trying our darndest to be 'right in Jehovah's eyes.'

So, what could have turned out to be a very hurtful experience ended up well for us. We continued living together for a few years as 'roommates' to raise our kids together, because as parents our children are the most important concern in our lives. The best part is, we both left the cult and got our kids out while they were still young.

My ex-wife and I are still good friends, and our kids have turned out just great.

Interestingly enough, my oldest daughter got married this year, to a great guy whose mom is a lesbian. As you can imagine, the reception was a bit unconventional; nonetheless, it was an atmosphere filled with lots of love and fun.

As a proud father (and now grandfather!) I just had to share a photo of my daughter and I dancing at her reception.

16

Questions about disfellowshipping and 'non-sanctioned' shunning

by Steve_C in

basically, i have a couple of questions about the current rules regarding disfellowshipping and shunning.

by current i mean since 1999.. sorry, but i have to put a bit of my history to clarify my situation.. i was a born-in who was baptized in 1983. got married to a sister in 1984. then the kids came.

by the mid-1990s my wife and i had become increasingly irregular, so that by 1999 we were both inactive and only went to the memorial and conventions.. in 1999 i committed adultery, confessed to the elders, and had a judicial committee.

Steve_C

Thanks. I appreciate everyone's comments and experiences. A bit more about what's been happening in my family recently...

My dear mom, who was still a JW, died last week after being ill for the past several months. I was in the US in January for my oldest daughter's wedding, and the kids and I were able to visit her while she was still lucid. I'm thankful that she treated me normally, and we were able to have a real, loving mother-son connection for our last time together.

My mom had been living with my sister and her family, who were all pretty much in JW robotic mode with me; it was sad and pathetic. My sister continued to be cold and businesslike whenever she emailed me about Mom's deteriorating condition.

When I spoke with my sister by phone the day that Mom passed, she finally let down her JW wall and we got to cry and reminisce together. I hadn't seen my sister's non-judgemental humanity in years, and it felt wonderful, just like when we were kids. However, I'm almost sure that after the funeral the shunning will start anew.

I won't be attending the kingdom hall service, as I don't think I could stomach the memorial talk infomercial, nor the "there's the apostate son" looks I'd be sure to get. The only reason I'd go is to support my sister, but she'll have her family and the entire congregation flocking around her, so I chose to remember Mom in my own way here in in Taiwan.

16

Questions about disfellowshipping and 'non-sanctioned' shunning

by Steve_C in

basically, i have a couple of questions about the current rules regarding disfellowshipping and shunning.

by current i mean since 1999.. sorry, but i have to put a bit of my history to clarify my situation.. i was a born-in who was baptized in 1983. got married to a sister in 1984. then the kids came.

by the mid-1990s my wife and i had become increasingly irregular, so that by 1999 we were both inactive and only went to the memorial and conventions.. in 1999 i committed adultery, confessed to the elders, and had a judicial committee.

Steve_C

Basically, I have a couple of questions about the current “rules” regarding disfellowshipping and shunning. By current I mean since 1999.

Sorry, but I have to put a bit of my history to clarify my situation.

I was a born-in who was baptized in 1983. Got married to a sister in 1984. Then the kids came. By the mid-1990s my wife and I had become increasingly irregular, so that by 1999 we were both inactive and only went to the Memorial and conventions.

In 1999 I committed adultery, confessed to the elders, and had a judicial committee. At the time I really did feel contrite (more for my wife’s feelings than for ‘bringing reproach on Jehovah’) and I guess the elders could see this because they didn’t disfellowship me. That day I left the judicial meeting feeling great and ready to be Ü ber-Witness .

T he weird thing is, by the very next day I’d done a complete 180 and decided I would never return to the kingdom hall (my wife had already decided that for herself).

Flash forward to 2006, after 7 years of being an inactive JW, celebrating holidays, etc. At that time I told my JW sister that I was gay (yes, I was married with kids. It’s a long story that I’ll have to explain in another post if anyone asks). My sister tells me that, even though I’m not disfellowshipped, my ‘actions’ show that I have disassociated myself. Hence, she began to shun me and still does to this day.

In 2008 I moved out of the country. However, from 1999 to 2008, except for the occassional “we miss you at the meetings” visit, I was never contacted by the elders about any additional judicial meetings, being disfellowshipped, etc., even though I lived in the same house and they knew my contact information.

So, I’d like to ask anyone out there…

1. Wouldn’t the elders have contacted me if they were thinking of disfellowshipping me? (I'm thinking in the event that my sister had talked to my hall's elders about my gay ‘confession’ to her).

2. Are JWs now instructed to shun people even when they haven’t been disfellowshipped/disassociated? (Or is this my sister’s own interpretation?)

3. Has anyone else experienced this ‘non-sanctioned’ shunning, especially by family members?

Sorry for the long post.

4

wearing pants not a "rule"??

by leftchica in

Steve_C

I have to assume that ammo is British, and I got a chuckle out of the comment (Many of us Americans don't realize that the word "pants" means something different to our English friends)

Steve_C

Posts by Steve_C