Posts by JulieM

28

have you found it difficult?

by 4digitcode in

jw
friends

to make friends since you're out of the organization?

maybe these things take time.

it's hard to establish new friendships when ones i had for years floated away in an instant.

I'm lucky in that I have a boyfriend who has never been a JW, and I have met a few of his friends, who have accepted me into their social circle, though I try not to talk to them about being an ex JW. I reconnected with a few other ex Witnesses as well, so I've had someone to talk to about that part of my life, which was most of my life, since I left. My bf will never fully understand what it means to leave a cult, all the issues that have to be faced, the inevitable guilt trips that I go on, but he has had a bit of coaching on what to expect, and he's very empathetic.

As for making other friends, I hope to do so. My work colleagues seem a lot more relaxed towards me now, but after about 10 years of me looking for opportunitied to preach to them and trying to place magazines, and refusing to have anything to do with the office Christmas party, or any birthdays, I expect they are curious about my recent change of viewpoint. A couple of them have invited me to go out with them on a Friday night sometime, and I'll likely do it, so maybe in time they will become friends.

I've only just joined this site, but it's looking like a pretty good idea, I wish I'd done it sooner now.

25

Assaults Are a Bad Idea ( One exception?)

by metatron in

jw
friends

assaulting jw's in the door to door work is very counter-productive.

it encourages them to continue.

believing that they are the true religion by reason of being persecuted.

JulieM

It's a very interesting idea metatron. Such an event would probably be reported in at least the local papers, and the crueller aspects of Watchtower doctrine, or rather the effect of it on it's victims, would get some deserved publicity. It would be an eye opener for some if they read about how the Watchtower Society expect their members to cut off all ties, even family ones, with those who leave.

As one who was disfellowshipped recently, I was announced two weeks ago, I haven't been shunned publicly yet, but I expect it's only a matter of time. I wasn't there for the announcement, but my oldest brother rang me to tell me I should be ashamed of myself and that he won't be speaking to me again, so there's one future shunner, and there's bound to be more.

64

Hello everybody

by JulieM in

jw
friends

hi everybody, my name is julie, and this is my first post.. i'm a third generation jw, or at least i was until a two weeks ago, when i was announced as no longer a jw.

i'm really happy about that, ecstatic in fact, although i'd been a jw all my life, and i'm 37 now.

i could have disassociated like my friends, but i couldn't be bothered to play their chikdish game, so i let them do it for me.

JulieM

Or at least Trevor's being a big help, I'm sure!

Yes, he gave me a short lesson in how to use the forum. He hasn't told me how he formats his posts though, I'll have to ask him that one. As for Gareth posting, he's never been in a cult so he doesn't know why we need places like this to help with our recovery programme.. He approves of me posting though, not that it would make any differrence if he didn't, no headship in our house lol.

64

Hello everybody

by JulieM in

jw
friends

hi everybody, my name is julie, and this is my first post.. i'm a third generation jw, or at least i was until a two weeks ago, when i was announced as no longer a jw.

i'm really happy about that, ecstatic in fact, although i'd been a jw all my life, and i'm 37 now.

i could have disassociated like my friends, but i couldn't be bothered to play their chikdish game, so i let them do it for me.

JulieM

Quandry

Sorry to hear about the smoking thing

It's not very wise, I agree, though lighting up in front of the elders was sort of satisfying. It was my statement to them in a way, as if to say I'm tasting forbidden fruit nowadays, smoking, having a "worldly" boyfriend, reading apostate literature etc, and there's nothing you can do about it. As for the smoking, my bf smokes, and I just wanted to try it. I've not become a heavy smoker, just a few a day, but I amit I'm getting a little hooked and I enjoy it. I ought to stop before it gets out of hand, but I'm not promising I will.

cyberguy

Welcome JulieM! Who knows what got you kicked-out. The sad part is that they could have fabricated everything and painted you in an ugly picture, and created an entire fiction! Have you tried to keep some kind of spirituality? I’m just a little curious.

They are probably painting an ugly picture of me now, but I don't care. It's the norm in that congregation, and others I suppose, when anyone gets df'd. The rumours of what they've become since rejecting Jehovah start circulating immediately, started by the elders. I haven't heard anything yet, but I expect I'm being painted as a chain-smoking, drug abusing fornicator by now, with a penchant for reading apostate literature since I stopped reading the Watchtower's delightul words of truth. The PO and his main cronies are probably angry that I robbed them of the stimulation of asking me about the lurid details of my sex life as I didn't turn up for my JC. Knowing their wives, I'd think that they were looking forward to that, it's probably the only excitement they get nowadays.

As for spirituality, that's something I will have to deal with at some point in the future. I still believe in God, and I think I always will. Marion has invited me to her church, but I don't fancy that, not at the moment anyway. After spending my entire life in an organised religion, I'm not keen on the idea of joining another one yet, if I ever am. I'd be very apprehensive, if not scared, of jumping out of the frying pan into the fire by going anywhere else just yet. I still have a lot of issues to deal with after a lifetime in the JWs as well, so for now I'll just enjoy my freedom and deal with the aspect of faith when I feel ready.

12

Sincere? Well that's all right then!

by Gill in

jw
friends

if someone is 'sincere' about their belief or beliefs in 'something' does that make their actions and the repurcussions of their actions excusable and their right to continue in that belief also excusable?.

mr bush sincerely believed that god told him to invade iraq.. mr blair said he 'sincerely believed' that was the right thing to do.. apologists and semi apologists for the wt and misled members of the wt, including those who harrassed dh, believe that we should excuse these people, (jws) because they are 'sincere.. so, does being 'sincere' about a belief or your beliefs mean that everyone else has to 'let' you do what you think is right and 'let you off' the repurcussions of those beliefs and actions and even 'punish' those who disagree with you?.

sincere is a very overrated word in my opinion and too many people use it as a shield to protect them from the repurcussions of their actions.. the same applies to the world religion!

JulieM

Junction Guy

My mom blamed herself for so many years and finally last year I just up and told her "you were screwed from birth, you did the best you could despite all the lies you were taught

I can see me having to say something like that to my mum one day. She still talks to me, although I'm df'd, bu tin the two conversations I've had with her since my announcement a couple of weeks ago, it's been "are you sure you know what you're doing?", "it's the worst thing you could do, leaving Jehovah this close to the end" etc. I'm happy that she's still speaking to me, my two brothers aren't, but I can do without the sermons.

She has been a JW all her life, her parents were recruited as teenagers, and brought us up with the same teachings. None of us had a bad childhood, mum and dad were and still are great parents, but the JW teachings dictated the course of their lives, as they did mine till recently.

12

Sincere? Well that's all right then!

by Gill in

jw
friends

if someone is 'sincere' about their belief or beliefs in 'something' does that make their actions and the repurcussions of their actions excusable and their right to continue in that belief also excusable?.

mr bush sincerely believed that god told him to invade iraq.. mr blair said he 'sincerely believed' that was the right thing to do.. apologists and semi apologists for the wt and misled members of the wt, including those who harrassed dh, believe that we should excuse these people, (jws) because they are 'sincere.. so, does being 'sincere' about a belief or your beliefs mean that everyone else has to 'let' you do what you think is right and 'let you off' the repurcussions of those beliefs and actions and even 'punish' those who disagree with you?.

sincere is a very overrated word in my opinion and too many people use it as a shield to protect them from the repurcussions of their actions.. the same applies to the world religion!

JulieM

I think sincere is a much overused word used to justify the most obviously stupid actions, like the Iraq invasion.

I used to give the appearance of being sincere in my beliefs, although I wasn't always, and gain the respect of my neighbours through my sincerity, even though some of them thought I was sincerely wrong.

64

Hello everybody

by JulieM in

jw
friends

hi everybody, my name is julie, and this is my first post.. i'm a third generation jw, or at least i was until a two weeks ago, when i was announced as no longer a jw.

i'm really happy about that, ecstatic in fact, although i'd been a jw all my life, and i'm 37 now.

i could have disassociated like my friends, but i couldn't be bothered to play their chikdish game, so i let them do it for me.

JulieM

Thanks everyone for the welcome, this is a great place to be, and I can understand why Linda loved it so much. It's getting late here, and I have a lot to do tomorrow, so it's time for bed, and I might even sleep! I'll be back tomorrow though, I don't know what time yet, probably in the afternoon.

My boyfriend is giving me a kind of longing look. I know what he wants, and he might well get it, so I'll sign off now, and wish you all a peaceful nights rest. It's been great to "meet" you.

love

Julie

18

New generation change: blaming rank & file again?

by Ozner in

jw
friends

the worst part of the "1995 generation change"- implementation was for me personaly the watchtower study-article defining the new (or changed) doctrine.

the article mentioned that rank & file witness "thought" that the generation was related to 1914 because they want it so.

it hurted me deeply and i am still agry (12 years later!)..

JulieM

Didn't the Awake magazine run (until 1995) on page 2...
"the Creator’s promise of a peaceful and secure new world before the generation that saw the events of 1914 passes away."

Yes they did, I remember it. They had to change it afterwards, of course. I don't really remember much about 1975, as I was only 5 years old, but I remember a lot being upset about the 1995 change, and now I see they are making another change. What a surprise!

All this new light, proves they pay the electicity bill at Bethel I suppose

26

TATA!!! I am on my way to the U.S.A.

by mouthy in

jw
friends

pensylvania here i come.

so all you yankie's ,,,, watch for an old, crippled, fat, ugly gray headed woman & say hello!!!!!!.

but if you are believers pray for me it is a 9 hour drive...if i dont come back in the flesh -i will visit you in the spirit .

JulieM

Have a great time, and a safe journey.

29

Tipping your hat to a lady is demonic

by marmot in

...according to the watchtower.

i don't have access to the watchtower library right now (i've only got a mac) but i remember laughing my arse off when i read that in an old questions from readers.

apparently tipping your hat to a lady is considered demonic because it shows deference to the lesser of the sexes, a man putting himself below the woman and other rambling "reasoning" about its origins in medieval times and such garbage.

JulieM

So picky and pedantic aren't they?, It would have been an offence for which anyone doing it would have been counselled in my hall. I remember a brother turning up for a talk with a stubble, and being told he was being replaced unless he shaved immediately. He isn't a JW now, or at least he doesn't go to meetings anymore, and who can blame anyone for getting sick of such minor things?