My husband left years before I did. I had a horrible time with it. He was a Witness when we got married, I was born-in, trained to be an elder's wife. Now what do I do? Where do I fit in now? Let's not forget I won't get to spend forever with my husband. I will have to go thru Armageddon with 2 kids by myself. Would I get another husband in the paradise, or would I have to remain single?
Your leaving changed everything for her, in her eyes. She no longer has a partner, or a spiritual head. She has to go to meetings alone, and look at the couples still going together. No more family study, no service together.She now has to study alone, go in service alone, meetings alone. Will she travel to conventions and assemblies alone, or catch a ride with other sisters with UBM? These are things she will think about, and resent you for making her think about them and face these situations.Your common Theocratic goals are gone, poof! She can't talk to you about what is supposed to be the most important thing in her life. She looks at all those sisters with UBM at the meetings, the older ones that end up sitting together, the younger ones dealing with their kids alone. She wonders if this is her future.She is flailing and is turning to the brothers and sisters for some stability.
And in all honesty, her feelings towards you are bound to change. I distanced myself emotionally from my husband because I didn't want to get too attatched. He was going to die in Armageddon. You have probably lost a tremendous amount of respect from her. You have done the unthinkable. She is now married to "one of them". A man who has turned his back on Jehovah is living in her house.
You are going to be looked down upon in the cong. You will feel your mere presence at home is simply being tolerated.
Maintain whatever respect you have by being the best man you can be. Don't go crazy with "worldly things". My husband went on the road with bands and entertainers. We all know that environment. And he experienced the majority of what was offered. That just made him even worse.
You have thrown her into this new situation. Don't expect her immediate adjustment. It will take time to show her that you are still a good husband and man.
My inlaws have survived this, my marriage barely did, but did just the same. Others here have and are doing it. So you can do it too. I just wanted to give an insight into her feelings.
momz
