Posts by GinnyTosken

i read all these posts (mainly by a couple of cuddly norwegians) about how the us needs to get it's act together, then there's a flurry of ripostes, the occasional nasty dig, a few generalisations and then the whole thing peters out until some bright spark feels the urge to start off the mischief once again.. well, im sick and tired of belonging to a perfect race and living in a perfect country.

the uk obviously has the best economy, the best soccer teams, the best monarchy, the best teeth, the best cuisine, the best weather, the best tv, the best armed forces, the best penal system, the best paranoids,.

GinnyTosken

Expatbrit,

I haven't read 1066 And All That. I will add it to my reading list.

Thanks for the recommendation!

Ginny

36

Why Is It That Americans Here Never.....

by Englishman in

jw
friends

slag off us brits?.

i read all these posts (mainly by a couple of cuddly norwegians) about how the us needs to get it's act together, then there's a flurry of ripostes, the occasional nasty dig, a few generalisations and then the whole thing peters out until some bright spark feels the urge to start off the mischief once again.. well, im sick and tired of belonging to a perfect race and living in a perfect country.

the uk obviously has the best economy, the best soccer teams, the best monarchy, the best teeth, the best cuisine, the best weather, the best tv, the best armed forces, the best penal system, the best paranoids,.

GinnyTosken

Englishman,

Barbaric and moronic as we Neanderthal Americans are, we do have the sense to realize the futility of slagging Brits. Whatever we say, you Brits are sure to be above it all and will carry on with a stiff upper lip.

I'll give it a go anyway, just so you won't feel slighted.

Ginny

from The Boomer Bible by R.F. Laird
THE BOOK OF BLOODY BRITS
Chapter 1
1 There was an island called Britain located off the northwest coast of Europe, where it was in an ideal position to cause lots of trouble for everyone else.
2 The weather is very bad in Britain all the time, which makes clothes very important,
3 And explains why the people who lived there became obsessed about being properly dressed for every occasion,
4 Although there is much about these people that cannot be explained,
5 As we shall see.
6 Anyway, the Brits worked hard to become the Chosen Nation of Europe and the World,
7 And actually succeeded for quite a while,
8 Against all odds,
9 Which was their favorite way,
10 And the reason why they are so heartily detested by almost everyone.
11 This is their story.
Chapter 26
1 But fortunately for the Brits, there were other parts of the world,
2 Places where there were vast numbers of brave natives willing to outnumber the Brits in defense of their homelands,
3 Which enabled the Brits to fight in the proper way,
4 Against great odds,
5 Wearing very nice uniforms,
6 Except for the ones that included short pants,
7 Which turned out to be okay anyway because the Brits have never understood that short pants are not nice, but silly.
8 And so, as the dim-witted Georges gave way to dim-witted monarchs with other names,
9 Brit power and influence expanded enormously,
10 Until there were huge Brit colonies in Africa,
11 And India,
12 And Asia,
13 And Indochina,
14 And Australia,
15 And Canada,
16 And Ireland,
17 And Wales,
18 And Scotland,
19 And wherever else there were non-white or non-Brit people who needed to be taught how to do everything the hard way,
20 Including honor and tradition and fair play and so forth,
21 Even if they all had to be slaughtered to the last man, woman, and child in order to learn it properly,
22 So that eventually there came a day when the sun never set on the British Empire,
23 And no matter where you went in the world,
24 You could hear people talking at great length about their views on Brit honor and tradition,
25 And fair play,
26 Not to mention Brit uniforms.
Chapter 27
1 But the Brits also had a great sense of humor,
2 Meaning that they never took the criticisms of foreigners too seriously,
3 Because you had to consider the source . . .
Chapter 36
1 The invention of reason convinced a lot of well-educated Brits that they could think,
2 Which is how the Brits came to invent irony . . .
Chapter 59
1 And now the Brits have been above it all for years,
2 And they like it,
3 Because it's a brand-new kind of misery to be poor and inept and unemployed,
4 And when you're the nation that invented misery in the first place,
5 It's pretty wonderful to find a new type of misery at this late date.
6 And so, the chances are that the Brits will go on being above it all,
7 Until the world comes to an end,
8 Because it's the only way to go,
9 When you have a terrible climate,
10 A tired, mongrel race,
11 A ruined economy,
12 A bloody, bloody past,
13 And no more world to rule.

72

Whats your cultural background ?

by Beans in

jw
friends

i am 50% german.

25% italian.

12.5% scottish.

GinnyTosken

For my answer, I'll steal a few lines from Casablanca:

Strasser: What is your nationality?

Rick: I'm a drunkard.

Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

Ginny, World Class (hic!)

16

First Post

by DINKY in

jw
friends

hey guys!

i've been lurking for 2 yrs and finally decided to post.

seems like y'all need some new blood around here.

GinnyTosken

Welcome, DINKY!

Now, just lie down on the jw.com couch and . . .

Ginny

7

Hillary 3 - "why don't I make us a cup of ...

by Duncan in

jw
friends

if you get an old copy of the guinness book of world records say, from 1972 or 1973 and look it up youll find the following reference:.

window cleaner the worlds worst.. undoubtedly the very worst window-cleaner in the world, and in the whole history of window cleaning, is an individual known as brother duncan in the london new-suburb congregation of jehovahs witnesses.

this utterly inept incompetent attempts to make a living by this means without ever having the acquired slightest skill or aptitude for the art.

GinnyTosken

Do you think it was Van Morrison's association with Jehovah's Witnesses that led him to write "Cleaning Windows"?

What's my line?
I'm happy cleaning windows
Take my time
I'll see you when my love grows
Baby don't let it slide
I'm a working man in my prime
Cleaning windows...
from http://www.harbour.sfu.ca/~hayward/van/lyrics/beautiful.html#track6

See also: "Kingdom Hall"
http://www.harbour.sfu.ca/~hayward/van/glossary/kingdom.html

Oh, they were swingin'
Down at Kingdom Hall
Oh, bells were ringin'
Down at the Kingdom Hall
from http://www.harbour.sfu.ca/~hayward/van/lyrics/wavelength.html#track1

Ginny

P.S. BluesBrother, yours was the very first rated "R" movie I sneaked out to see as a naughty 17-year-old JW. It was just my luck that two stalwart bastions of our congregation happened to sit down right behind me. ("Pssst, Vernon! Isn't that Ginny Tosken?!") I fled from the theater in terror. These bastions later explained that they had only attended under the corrupting influence of their DFed son. I was 30 before I saw the whole movie.

7

Hillary 3 - "why don't I make us a cup of ...

by Duncan in

jw
friends

if you get an old copy of the guinness book of world records say, from 1972 or 1973 and look it up youll find the following reference:.

window cleaner the worlds worst.. undoubtedly the very worst window-cleaner in the world, and in the whole history of window cleaning, is an individual known as brother duncan in the london new-suburb congregation of jehovahs witnesses.

this utterly inept incompetent attempts to make a living by this means without ever having the acquired slightest skill or aptitude for the art.

GinnyTosken

Duncan,

I am savoring your story and look forward to the next installment.

I did not wash windows as a pioneer, but I did work in the office of a brother's janitorial firm. My favorite product was the Ettore Steccone squeegee. Such an exciting Italian name to be lavished on a lowly squeegee!

Ettore Historical Window Cleaning Collection:
http://www.ettore.com/brochure_eng/pg2_3.htm

I wonder if Madonna's life would have been different had her last name been Steccone rather than Ciccone?

Ginny