chickpea

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Posts by chickpea

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  3

  if only it were this easy to spot a cult

  by chickpea in

  1. social
  2. humour

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  chickpea

  
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  1

  the tactic of disdain for others called out as BS

  by chickpea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it doesnt matter if the group is a church or a gang or a sewing circle or masculinity itself, asking members to dislike, disown, or distance themselves from another group of people as a condition of belonging is always about control and power.

  i think we have to question the intentions of any group that insists on disdain toward other people as a membership requirement.

  it may be disguised as belonging, but real belonging doesnt necessitate disdain.. .

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  chickpea

  “

  It doesn’t matter if the group is a church or a gang or a sewing circle or masculinity itself, asking members to dislike, disown, or distance themselves from another group of people as a condition of “belonging” is always about control and power. I think we have to question the intentions of any group that insists on disdain toward other people as a membership requirement. It may be disguised as belonging, but real belonging doesn’t necessitate disdain.

  ”

  —	Brene Brown
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  36

  How long since you have prayed?

  by LostGeneration in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  its been probably five years for me.

  i don't miss it a bit.

  i was a slacker when it came to prayer.

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  chickpea

  i actually told my therapist that i sometimes miss believing in a god or an entity that had my back... then i said that i realized that every time in the past, when i faced the fire, held up or got up again after living thru situations that were extremely distressing... it was ME.... not some capricious supreme being who, as a graphic above pointed out, helps teams win their sports championships.... well, you know the rest

  i remember when i was first out, wondering when i would stop doing things like watching my teen driver pull out of the driveway and whispering a prayer for their safe return..... but now, i dont pray anymore...

  however, i do say jesus a lot... my fave exclamation this month seems to be sweet baby jesus in a mosh pit!
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  32

  How Many Enjoy Celebrating Holidays? Birthdays?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i admit that i do enjoy it, especially with my grandkids.

  birthdays, too.. i believe we missed out on a lot of fun and normal activities because we were witnesses..

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  chickpea

  i acknowledge other people's penchant for holiday participation, and in fact encourage my now adult children to attach meaning to any, all or none of the holidays as they see fit... for the one kid still in this little town, i always offer to have a fancier meal or some sort of acknowledgement if he has the interest

  the only thing i am certain to do is call them on their birthdays and tell them what their births were like (all home birthed) and they always seem to like to hear the stories of their emergence...

  i am actually annoyed i got a xmas catalog in the mail this week
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  151

  If you don't believe in God where do you get the strength to cope?

  by Miss.Fit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know there are some here that are going through some tough times.

  some of you do not believe in god.

  some are not sure.. i was told recently by a friend to pray to god for help and he would comfort me.. my first impulse is to pray.

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  chickpea

  i have actually said aloud in therapy (PTSD) that i WISHED i still believed in a god.... but that i realized all those times i "prayed" for help and sustenance that it was my own resolve and the resources i utilized that got me through every challenge i have ever faced...

  but i did admit there was a degree of comfort to be had in thinking there was a big ole spirit in the sky backing me up....
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  23

  has shunning been downplayed?

  by chickpea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  several times over the course of a year or so, jws from the kh i attended have been downright chatty during happenstance crossing of paths... .

  wth is up with that?

  i have no grudges against any of them, but it is confusing as all get out to have left the cult as an ardent supporter of my out, open, front page headlining transgender son, becoming vocally and decidely apostate knowing i was dead to them... now after at least a half decade out, to have them chummy-ing up to me in a check-out line.... frankly, i would rather they look the other way, you know, if none of them would ever genuinely want to know how my son is doing.

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  chickpea

  well, as far as i can tell, they know better than to crank up the blather and in no way am i ever the one who initiates conversation... so, if they want to say hello and few harmless weather related comments, i wont be a turd about it...

  once you have shed the cult personality, it is hard to remember what it was like to always look over your shoulder

  everyone take care and enjoy the rest of whatever this season is for you....
• 
  23

  has shunning been downplayed?

  by chickpea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  several times over the course of a year or so, jws from the kh i attended have been downright chatty during happenstance crossing of paths... .

  wth is up with that?

  i have no grudges against any of them, but it is confusing as all get out to have left the cult as an ardent supporter of my out, open, front page headlining transgender son, becoming vocally and decidely apostate knowing i was dead to them... now after at least a half decade out, to have them chummy-ing up to me in a check-out line.... frankly, i would rather they look the other way, you know, if none of them would ever genuinely want to know how my son is doing.

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  chickpea

  thanks for the spectrum of answers...

  i dont have any desire to become a resource person for anyone in the bOrg who has begun to think for themselves, other than to send them to JWFacts.com so i am not engaging in any conversations, and hurry thru the cursory greetings with all manner of overt indications that "i aint got time for this"

  i do have 2 xjw's in my circle, each of us having escaped on our own...
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  95

  Please Share one of your Favourite Quotations

  by cofty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  have you ever come across words that resonate with you?

  it doesn't have to be a great gem of wisdom, just something that is meaningful to you.. please share, and if you want to, tell us why it's meaningful to you.. here is something that made me nod when i first read it.... .

  "fortunate are those who have learned to see, in the wild things of nature, something to be loved, something to be wondered at, something to be reverenced, for they have found the key to a never-failing source of recreation and refreshment".

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  chickpea

  "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness-that is a friend who cares."

  - Henri Nouwen
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  23

  has shunning been downplayed?

  by chickpea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  several times over the course of a year or so, jws from the kh i attended have been downright chatty during happenstance crossing of paths... .

  wth is up with that?

  i have no grudges against any of them, but it is confusing as all get out to have left the cult as an ardent supporter of my out, open, front page headlining transgender son, becoming vocally and decidely apostate knowing i was dead to them... now after at least a half decade out, to have them chummy-ing up to me in a check-out line.... frankly, i would rather they look the other way, you know, if none of them would ever genuinely want to know how my son is doing.

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• 

  chickpea

  several times over the course of a year or so, JWs from the KH i attended have been downright chatty during happenstance crossing of paths...

  wth is up with that? i have no grudges against any of them, but it is confusing as all get out to have left the cult as an ardent supporter of my out, open, front page headlining transgender son, becoming vocally and DECIDELY apostate knowing i was dead to them... now after at least a half decade out, to have them chummy-ing up to me in a check-out line.... frankly, i would rather they look the other way, you know, if none of them would ever genuinely want to know how my son is doing

  did i miss some edict that softened the cult's stance on "not even greeting such ones?"
• 
  25

  Why were we so fortunate to escape clutches of the WT?

  by jam in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  when i came out i knew of very few ex-jw's.

  for years i. question my decision.

  was i being selfish, couldn't cut the.

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  chickpea

  it was a simple as this: my youngest child (NOW 20!!!!) came out to me as transgender.... ball in my court

  did i want a relationship with my child or "the society" and its minions?

  he is doing FABULOUSLY well, living in the mini-apple, doing all the shit kids his age do... moving thru a real life loved and supported by his family

  if i could summon the courage to think about it, i would weep until i had no tears left for all the children of the minions who choose a lie over a life...