knowing that its almost december, and that i will be putting up a tree, my mum told me today that she doesn't want to be invited over to my place while any decorations are up.
she later sent me the following sms: (edited for grammer & spelling).
"i wanted to say that, as you know all the rubbish about santa claus, when you have kids will you allow them to be deceived with this lie?
I am sure this has been discussed here before, but I want to share this little story.
My mother, who is 80 was born into the faith.
I was going through an old box of photos and found one of her holding my oldest brother circa 1948 under a Christmas tree. I called her up and questioned her about it. Oh, you didn't know? The GB had new light in 1958 (?). We celebrated Christmas before that....needless, I was shocked to the core.... NOT!!!!
in my search to find more info on the sexual abuse of my dead brother, i am wondering if there are any other forums like this?
he had told me over the years about a forum he was reading and would share things with me from time to time.
i have searched the membership lists here and i can't find him registered under any nicks that i know him by - .
Neither of us have felt the need to be incognito but we all know that user names can change depending on the site we are on. I have looked at the membership list and it is so vast, it is overwhelmning to me. I am sure that he was here. Perhaps studying more than posting.
He was on a mission to debunk our mom and get her out of the JWs. When he died, my mom was so happy when we found piles of W&A magazines and a number of books in his home. She knew that he was still interested and studying The Truth. She now knows that he will be with her in the New World. I didn't have the heart to tell her the real Truth....
Whether I find Lee here or not has no longer become my goal. From reading this site, I am gaining greater insight into myself and why I am the way I am. Fiercely independant and shy away from anyone who trys to control me in any way. Why I have ZERO fear of death. That others, too, where silently going through the same things I was and they, too, became self destructive. Why I was so wild when I walked away. I am sure I will discover other things about me. I am now here for me.
I am amazed when I read threads here at the power the JWs hold over people. How hard it is for them to walk away. I struggled with some it, too. The guilt was my biggest trip. But, it seemed easier for me than others. I guess it is because I saw 1975 come and go and NOTHING happened. I had walked away 1 year prior but I still believed. I was tired of the control. I knew I was not going to survive Armageddon. I made a concious decision to die. I decided that Paradise Earth under the control of this mean, hateful G-d was not where I wanted to spend eternity. It sounded like a horrible place. So, as the fall of 1975 approched, I was ready - and then, big fat NOTHING! LOL Wow, truthfully, it took me a couple of years to really open my eyes and realise that is was all a farse.
I just shake my head at people who join this cult after all the false prophocies. Afterall, I was born into it and was brainwashed from birth, perhaps while still in the womb. I remember my mom being pregnant with my little brothers and she would read the W&A to them...... I am amazed at how the JWs spin and twist their history and how people get sucked into it - go figure!
Thank you, all. This is an amazing place. You all seem to be so tolerant of each other and the vast beliefs we have all formed since leaving.
in my search to find more info on the sexual abuse of my dead brother, i am wondering if there are any other forums like this?
he had told me over the years about a forum he was reading and would share things with me from time to time.
i have searched the membership lists here and i can't find him registered under any nicks that i know him by - .
Ninja!!!!
ROFLMAO!!!!!
Finally! Someone offered me a glass!!!!
Thanks! Cheers!
in my search to find more info on the sexual abuse of my dead brother, i am wondering if there are any other forums like this?
he had told me over the years about a forum he was reading and would share things with me from time to time.
i have searched the membership lists here and i can't find him registered under any nicks that i know him by - .
Nah - can't ask him. He died in April - going through his stuff I found writings of his telling about his sexual abuse as a small boy - I know he was active somewhere, and was hoping to find more info.
Heck, just because I look elsewhere - I am not going anywhere - LOL - are you all a cult or something!!!? ROFL!
in my search to find more info on the sexual abuse of my dead brother, i am wondering if there are any other forums like this?
he had told me over the years about a forum he was reading and would share things with me from time to time.
i have searched the membership lists here and i can't find him registered under any nicks that i know him by - .
In my search to find more info on the sexual abuse of my dead brother, I am wondering if there are any other forums like this? He had told me over the years about a forum he was reading and would share things with me from time to time. I have searched the membership lists here and I can't find him registered under any nicks that I know him by -
Are there any other forums I can search that are fairly active?
i have been reading the forum the past couple of days, actually i am finding it hard to pull myself away.
i stumbled upon it by accident - searching some thing lead to another and another and here i am.. 3rd generation ex-jw here.
got out fairly young.
Thanks, I have spent a great deal of time today going through the membership database and I can not find him. Perhaps he read the site and didn't share - but that would surpise me because he is a lot like me - we don't keep our mouths shut real well. I can't see him reading here and not participating......
Again, thanks for all of your help and if anyone remembers anything, let me know.
It's been an interesting read this past 3 or 4 days - I am learning a lot. I had no idea that the Witnesses have changed so many stances on so many issues since I was active.....I always thought that "new light" BS was just so much BS!!! And I still do - either they have a direct line to G-d or they don't....fer cryin' out loud!
Gringa
i don't know why things in life happened...i don't know why i was born in the most destructive cults ever existed.
my childhood was so miserable...is not nice to see the other kids at your age celebrating xmas and birthdays and other holidays.
my whole world was somewhere between kindom hall and field service with my pioneers parents.. i hardly finished high school because i was supposed to live in the generation that by no means will pass way.
Just human - I, too, was born into the "truth". I know how you feel..... but, I truly see my childhood as a great learning experience for me. I am a strong, independant woman who doesn't let anyone control me, tell me how to feel or what to do. It has been my blessing that I was raised to be gentle and kind and honest yet I learned, also, not to let too much thought or care go into what people think of me. It has served me well.
When things seem so horribly bad for you, the loss of your children must cause you great pain, know that all things come in their season. You will get through this and you will be stronger and happier for it. Someday, too, your children may see the light and join you.
Look to the blessings that have been placed upon you though the cult. They are not all bad. They brought to me a love of all humans, a total understanding that all men are created equal. The JWs are not bigoted and for that, I love. All their evil, all their fear, gently and gradually subsides.... you will find your eyes opening more and more and you will become stronger and wonder how you bought all the BS, hook, line and sinker but know that it was a form of mind control We were force fed it from the day we were born.....
{{{{{{{{{{{U}}}}}}}}}}}}
Gringa
well i finally got the nerve up to send my mother, a jw, a christmas card this past weekend.
now i'm thinking of sending her a birthday card in feburary.
.
I see no point in sending a card to your JW family. It is hurtful. Why do you want to hurt them? Let it go and be respectful of their beliefs, especially if you want them to be respectful of yours.
moments ago, i talked to my mom.. i told her that i was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.. the conversation went down hill from there.. as her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.. i pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.. "you are being over-sensitive", "jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on jehovah".
those were the catch phrases of the conversation.. a new one was: "what have you been reading?".
i have a hard time standing up to my mother.
UGH! What happened to my paragraph's in my last post!!!? I cut and pasted it from Word. Sorry, I know it is hard to read that way.
moments ago, i talked to my mom.. i told her that i was taking some time off from going to meetings and service.. the conversation went down hill from there.. as her usual she just dismissed my reasons as if they meant nothing.. i pointed to the child molestations as my main reason for leaving.. "you are being over-sensitive", "jehovah takes care of things in his own time", "rely on jehovah".
those were the catch phrases of the conversation.. a new one was: "what have you been reading?".
i have a hard time standing up to my mother.
Get use to the brothter's visits. I left the organization 35 +/- years ago and my mom still sends them to visit me! here is what worked for me - The first visit is the hardest. You don’t gain a thing by arguing with her or them. It is best to remain silent and let them talk and each time they press you for an answer, tell them that you have made your mind up – no more - no less. If the brothers show up and you answer the door – I didn’t answer my door and still don’t 90% of the time – do not invite them in. It becomes impossible to get them out of your house. Talk to them at the door. They will ask to come in, tell them that it is not a good time; they will press you to tell them when it is a good time. Tell them you don’t know and you will call them to make an appointment – which of course, you will not do. They will continue to press you and preach to you. Listen politely, as I do, even to my mother to this day. When pressed for an answer, I avoid making any direct comment for my reasons for leaving and not returning because that just opens the door for them to debunk your thoughts. After you have had enough, politely close the door – they will do everything in their power to try to continue to talk, but be firm, it is not a good time and CLOSE THE DOOR. I am sorry to say that I have found it necessary to distance myself from my mom and my oldest brother (now deceased) for most of my life. It is sad to leave them but they will harp on you until you can’t stand it. Instead of bringing families together, they distance them and create tension and hatred, at times. Over the years, I have had only 2 truly good conversations with my mom. Those times were great because as I got stronger about my own beliefs it made it easier to tell her the things in my heart and at those moments she did listen. It has broken her heart and I understand. She knows that she will not be spending eternal life in the new world with me. I understand her pain, I really do. But, I assure her that I love her and I believe that she is wrong. I have my own family now and I focus on them and it eases the pain of the loss of my mom. It is a hard time, it gets easier. My mom is now 80 and she has been gentler to me now that 2 of my brothers have passed. We spent a week together recently (first time since I left home at 18) after my brother died and she even eased up on her preaching to me. Slipped in a few things that I let slide…. It is ok now. I don’t mind, it is her beliefs and I respect them. I ask the same courtesy from her and I think, just maybe, she is trying to give it to me. She will never stop trying to save me, I understand, she has to. It is her job. For that, I have to love her. Gringa
