I too spent 16 years away from God. I didn't even try to heal. I just lived in limbo. But 4 years ago when I decided to get it right somehow I knew I had to look to God and the bible to get to that peaceful place mentally.
In retrospect, I can see that was the right choice. I somehow knew that there was nothing "out there" that had any true meaning. I started on a quest to really read the bible and when I did I really got to know Jesus. There was allot of mental hurdles for sure but all those small baby steps led me back to God.
Now I have peace in knowing I do not have to earn my salvation. That it is a gift he gave me. In coming to HIM, he now resides in me. He is with me, in me and for me. I have a peace that whether on this side of living on earth or on the other side living with HIM I have that gift he gave me.........everlasting life.
I guess some of you will knock me for becoming born again in Christ in a big way..... but all i can say is don't "knock" it till you've tried it. LOL
love to you all, gold_morning