Posts by Ayla

63

I am having a bad day

by Vivamus in

it is wearing me down.. my constant companion in life, my skull-breaking- mind-blowing- daily migraines finally got the better off me six months ago.

i broke down, i cried and cried and cried.

not only cuz of the pain, but more for the fact that painkillers were not helping me anymore.

Migraines are real as you well know. And they are pure hell. I hope you can find ways to cope for yourself. These lovely posts are filled with antedotes and I hope one or two work for you. Hell, I don't want to blame EVERYTHING on JW life ... but are we predisposed to such pain? I don't have the migraines I had in years past which literally rendered me unable to function. Now, I mostly get the "auras" of light in my eyes but not actual pain nor vomiting. Hey - I'll take the auras! My eye doc said the brain is a brilliant organ which "learns" .. it learns to avoid the pain and instead only endure the light auras. I can buy that b/c I used to have pain for 2-3 days of missed work and now I have light flashes where I can endure work. He said I'd evolved into "occular migranes." Not sure but made sense to me. I'm just glad I'm no longer vomting and sick.

Best to you. I hope among these many postings and advice you find something that works for you.

Peace be with you,

Ayla

10

"missionary position"

by belbab in

now don't get all excited, .

this is a research project, not in the actual act itself, but the origin of the term... from whom did the expression "missionary position" surface.

i swear to god that i believed that a missionary first used that expression.

Ayla

Question: what do ya'll have against the missionary position? It rocks with the right person. I'm multi-positional and open to whatever shows up on the agenda; however, I have to say that missionary is my personal fav. I'm probably buying into some 19th century notion of what a woman wants, but I just love it and make no apologies for that. I love having my man on top of me - I'll say it - love having him there being the man. Love it. Perhaps I reveal too much, but I subscribe to the notion that the only truly bad sex is no sex.

4

Please Donate! The WTB&TS would hate it!

by Burger Time in

jw
friends

i made a post about this before, but felt the need to repost on a very important benefit i am part of.

it is called beards because.

basically a group of guys have been growing thier beard out for the local battered women's shelter.

Ayla

That looks so much fun! I'd love to attend the "Grizzliest Adams" night. What a hoot.

I wish you guys the best. Guys helpin' Gals - I love it! Plus - let's face it - women love a man with some facial hair. It's wonderful. So post pics here of any guys on this board who are participants.

I will send some support via cash b/c I hate PayPal.

Thanks for being members of your community ... small scale is best!

--Ayla

23

"The Great Armageddon Retirement Fund" - A Rant by Princess Daisy Boo

by Princess Daisy Boo in

first a bit of background (in case you are not familiar with my family history)... my mom is 68, my dad is 63. they run their own small business which involves my dad travelling all over the country and my mom running the office.

my dad is an insulin dependant diabetic and my mom suffers from chronic high blood pressure.

my only sibling is a sister who is 27 and lives in bethal.she is a housekeeper and her husband repairs the shoes there.. today i call my mom to say hi... the conversation goes something like this..... me: so when are you going back to work mom?.

Ayla

Jesus H. Christ!! All these posts are so frightening. I have to say I feel very lucky!! Very LUCKY! I know they hate that word so I use it on purpose. My parents were in the so-called truth from their late teens onward. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the year) they were mostly fence-riders. They wantd to be "good" but they never let their common sense be trotted upon so they were often cast as rebels needing frequent visits from the so-called elders. For one, my parents married in the 40s and were promptly told not to waste time and energy building a house or having children. My sassy-assed mom told my father that she fully intended to have children and if he wanted to be their father, he'd best hustle up. Those ill-advised kids are now in their late 40s and early 50s.

As for the house, my parents were again discouraged and lots of old ass idiots shook their heads in despair at the waste of time since the end was near. At 23 years old and in the face of much discouragement, my late father built the home my now 80 year old mother still resides in. It was a small, modest home, but they built it as they could afford the pieces - week by week - month by month - they eventually had their home. My parents have been 100% mortgage-free for 60 some years and that is certainly NO THANKS to the "Society" and the "Friends." We lost my father in 2003 at 80 YO. Don't ask me about the hospital drama and the TOTAL lack of Witness support to his able-minded decision to forego blood -- suffice it to say -- the 30YO "elders" were absolutely ABSENT at the hospital as my father struggled against the very loud, strong-opinions of medical profs in his decision.

In any case - I can absolutely see and hear the despair in the voices of those of you whose parents put their entire trust in this organization and now have NOTHING to secure their old ages and future. How maddening and frightening. My heart aches for you all. And my anger toward the WTBTS is inflamed to new heights. I'd especially be pissed to contend with able bodied siblings who remain in LaLa Land about the future. Nothing against any of your families - but I praise God that my parents didn't drink enough of the KoolAid to totally rob themselves of a future and security. My mother can live out her life secure in her home and her daughters can rest easy about that.

Praise God for sassy parents! I am filled with anger for your stories and gratitude for my irreverant parents.

39

Unexplained Mormon "miracles"...Unexplained JW "miracles"

by FormerMormon in

jw
friends

ok... lets get the ribbing aside.

our mormon "miracles" are more unexplainable than yours.... one of the many tools used by the morg to keep it's members active is the use of faith promoting stories involving apparent miracles... or the unexplainable.

there are unexplainable stories even in my own family.

Ayla

What a great thread!

AmberRose - I burst out laughing at your post! To think we belonged to a religion SO BORING that to use the description vanilla would be far too tasty, bold and sassy a word to compare is absolutely hilarious! I love vanilla and find it special. I'd agree, JW tastes like typing paper ... cardboard .... or maybe a dose of Epsom Salts. Not sure, but vanilla is way way too sassy!

FormerMormon - first, GREAT NAME! Reminds me of that [adult swim] show called Morel Orel. I'd agree with all of you that the Mormon inexplicable miracles are far better than JWs. Actually, do JWs have a lot of miracle stories? Just goes to show you how me sitting in the hall dreaming of becoming "That Girl" left me clueless I guess. I thought JWs too bland to indulge something as fanciful as miracles! I would think that the expression of miracles would get one called up on the Elder Carpet. Well - tell me more! I'd love to hear more "miracles."

I don't know, FormerMormon, but I think your taunt of "my cult has more unexplainable stories than your cult" wins.

4

Please Donate! The WTB&TS would hate it!

by Burger Time in

jw
friends

i made a post about this before, but felt the need to repost on a very important benefit i am part of.

it is called beards because.

basically a group of guys have been growing thier beard out for the local battered women's shelter.

Ayla

This begs for a joke "for a small donation ...."

Seriously, sounds like a nice cause; however, can you expand? What woman's shelter? What will the money be for? Your link to "BeardsBecause" didn't work for me. I don't fancy PayPal so more information including where to mail a dollar would be useful. Also, can we see a pic of said beards?

Good luck.

39

JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES RULES, RUINED JA RULE'S CHILDHOOD

by WTNightmare00 in

rap star ja rule blames his familys jehovahs witness roots for ruining his childhood.. .

the im real hitmaker reveals he was never allowed to celebrate birthdays or christmases growing up - and even playing with other children was a problem for his strict grandparents, who helped raise him.. .

as a result, the rapper, real name jeffrey atkins, goes overboard when his children celebrate birthdays and special occasions.. .

Ayla

It's important to be able to separate a bad childhood from being a JW. The two are not necessarily one and the same to me. Some would have had a shitty childhood whether the parents had been JW, Baptist or Catholic or whatever.

As a JW childhood goes, I think I must have been on the luckier side.

Just b/c Ja Rule had a shitty childhood (JW or otherwise) doesn't mean I'd put a dime in his pocket. Rap hardly qualifies as "music" to me. I think they guy who called it Crap hit it on the head.

72

Could an EX-JW Dating Site work?

by Bourne in

hey!

since the "in" and "active" jw's have their dating websites, what about us?

at the moment, i see myself, at a future date, feeling most comfortable with someone with a similar background, someone who understood the issues left over from the experience of being a jw.

Ayla

Yes, Bourne, you succeeded ... in annoying me. Good grief. Make it stop already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

27

hard to find "in" relationship while inactive

by believerNYCgirl in

i was out of the truth and in a relationship for 4 years.

i didn't go to the meetings at all, my bf lived with me, and we celebrated holidays.

i never stopped believing the truth.

Ayla

Thanks for the welcomes.

I mis-spoke - I honestly don't mind some whining and moaning. I think most of us have ample reason and need to! I should have used a different word b/c the people I want to avoid are the venomous, anti-JW haters. It seems some people I've found on the internet are now spending as much energy hating JWs as they once spent in field service. I can see their points of view, I just don't enjoy it and it almost seems as if they are still trapped by the religion but just from another position. I get the anger - I really do - but I would not enjoy having that as a constant in a mate. I was trying to convey that I would be very interested in meeting an ex-JW man so long as he's put some of the anger and venom behind him in the past.

Far be it for me to find others "wrong" - I am just speaking to my own desires and limitations. Does that make any sense?

27

hard to find "in" relationship while inactive

by believerNYCgirl in

i was out of the truth and in a relationship for 4 years.

i didn't go to the meetings at all, my bf lived with me, and we celebrated holidays.

i never stopped believing the truth.

Ayla

I think there are probably a ton of "drifters" as you refer to yourself. I just think a lot of drifters and "Ex-JWs" are in their own little worlds trying to find their way. I both suffer from and desire isolation a good bit myself. Wonder if that could be true of others? In any case, I'm honestly surprised that no solid Ex-JW dating site has been established. Then again, maybe many feel like me sometimes - can two wrongs make a right? Another problem I could perceive in dating Ex-JW is how much anger and bitterness you will find on websites like this. While I have chosen to leave the org, I really have no interest in sitting around wailing about it for years on end. For one, I have beloved family members who still are. I respect them dearly though I don't agree with them.

I was raised in but left around 18-20 YO (am now 45). I still can't get my life together with regard to interpersonal relationships with men. Even though I was way out of the org I still couldn't make it work with an absolutely terrific man I dated for several years. Like us all, he had his share of flaws, but he would have made a terrific husband & father. We began to fight over all the "what ifs" of our future - kids, holidays, etc. He wanted things from me I couldn't give. For example, like many on this board, you'll find they leave the JWs but never attach to another religion nor find it comfortable & fun to do all the holidays, etc. That's true for me too. My research into other religions only showed me that they are all nutty ... just a matter of degree and popularity. As for holidays, when I have celebrated them I felt clumsy, disinterested and fraudulent ... not joyful. My ex-boyfriend wanted me to promise "never ever to become a JW again" (that's a direct quote). While that was certainly my intention ... I wasn't about to turn over my newfound free mind to yet another jackass trying to control me. But, in short, I gave up a perfectly good man because I just couldn't fit into his world. I guess I could have forced myself to but having lived my childhood forcing something ... I just wanted to live my life on my own terms. So far, that has equated to being mostly man-less.

The irony of all our fighting over the kids, future, etc? Neither of us has had children! I think I might well be unable to have children and I don't know why he and his wife were not able to have kids. But my point is this: don't waste a lot of energy worrying about a bunch of stuff that might or might not happen. I could laugh (or cry) when I think about how many hours we wasted fighting over how to raise the kids. WHAT KIDS?!?!?! For the love of Pete!

I guess I am saying to you that you have serious choices ahead of you. All my JW family members are for the most part single and some of them are married to trolls. I'm sorry - but there are simply not a lot of interesting, intelligent, physically attractive singles at the KH. All of my beautiful young nieces have no suitable boys to choose from and they are all dating so-called "worldly" guys. Very nice, regular guys. It pains me to watch these precious girls going through some of the same fighting and anxiety I did all those years ago. I am reluctant to advise them one way or the other because a person's choices should be their own --- well-considered and executed at one own's hand.

I wish you the best whatever choices you make for yourself.