Well, unlike some of the oversensitive folk I believe you asked good questions.
(1) Why are many on both sides so fanatical? Presumably there must be humanly intelligent, morally decent, rational beings in both JW and ex-JW camps. And surely, objectively speaking, the Watchtower organization is neither 100% evil nor 100% perfect. Why is it apparently just as difficult for ex-witnesses to see anything positive in the organization as it is for current Witnesses to admit that there might be weaknesses?
Fanatics of any kind are damaged goods..and they are unable to act on rational thought. It applies equally well to JWs and XJWs. There are many here who think the WT can do no right. Unfortuantely, this thinking goes largely unchallenged since most of us do not want to provide any positive acknowledgement to the WT society. The fanatic XJWs are just the same as their fanatical JW kinfolk. Hatred from any side which consumes ones mind and thoughts can never be postive to oneself or to others. Do not confuse frustration with hatred.
(2) Is the participation of ex-JW's on this and similar web-sites typical of all who leave the JW religion? What percentage do you think become vocal opponents of the Watchtower, and what percentage just move on and get on with their lives? Why are so many now atheists or agnostics? Do many ex-JW's now belong to traditional Christian groups? (They appear to be a silent minority here.)
I am an atheist because I insist on proof and so far their is NO proof of anything other than evolution which makes sense to me. I will not live my life investing my time and energy so that I give up my freedom for some God who could not give a rats ass about humanity. If anything I am more frustrated by lack of rationality than by JW-think (since their is no difference). The reason the Christian groups are silent is because they are still clutching for mental/emotional straws.
3) The opposing camp emphasize what they perceive to be the weaknesses of Witnesses (arrogance in claiming only they are right, fanaticism, deceitfulness [at the very least "spin"] with regard to their beliefs, self-righteousness, excessive concern with appearances, manipulation, etc.). Obviously these qualities are not unique to JW's. Could it not be said that they are common, even typical of organized religion in general? Or to take it a step further, might it be said that they are basic to human nature? Is it reasonable for some JW's to paint all ex-witnesses as "evil apostates"?
Yes it is common for most religions to claim they are right? If other paths are acceptable then how can they exist without offering the easiest of lifestyles with the lowest of moral principles? In other words the only way they can control their believers is to claim to be THE right religion.
(4) A lot of what is written on this board is reminiscent of what you might hear from a disgruntled divorcee describing their former spouse's behavior. There would appear to be a lot of bitterness, sarcasm/irony, "demonizing" in general. Some comments I have read are frankly vulgar, others more sophisticated, but in all cases, the question arises: How objective is the picture they portray? After all, even ex-witnesses (who may have spent years in the organization) must surely have enjoyed SOME positive benefits from their adherence to the organization that justified their staying as long as they did. Aside from raising questions of the objectivity of those who write about their experiences with the organization, one wonders whether such an approach is conducive to good mental and emotional health. Clearly such an all-embracing shift in worldview would cause great emotional upheaval, but are there more mature ways of dealing with it?
Agreed...this place is set aside for many to "bitch". Many have legitimate complaints and they need to air them. You are dealing with human emotions, feelings and affected lives of people - why do you expect objectivity? I don't expect to find it here - perhaps you need to manage your expectations properly?
(5) Without questioning the sincerity of many current or former JW's, what is gained by constant efforts to criticize or condemn the other side? If ex-JW's have found something they like better, what is to be gained by attempting to induce them to stay, even if you think they are making a colossal mistake by leaving? On the other hand, if current witnesses are satisfied with their religion, then why try to disillusion them, even if you believe they are hopelessly mistaken? (Ex-JW's who are now atheists would presumably agree that in 100 years from now, everyone, JW or not, will be in the same situation [i.e. dead], so what difference could it possibly make?)
It is a dysfunctional way of dealing with pain. Most JWs are forced into dysfunctionality - just because they cast off the organization doesn't mean the effects and thinking patterns dissipate. I agree that if people are satisfied being JW's then leave them be. However, its not quite that simple is it since if one of their family members wants out they are threatened with isolation and shunning - and thus they "stay in", albeit unhappily. You cannot have it be only one way in a very high percentage of cases.
(6) To what extent are both sides willing to accept responsibility for their own decisions? It is easy to cry mental manipulation, brainwashing, etc, but in reality such a paradigm could hardly account for millions of people subscribing to this or that belief system. It would seem that people who believe the Watchtower (or any other religious or non-religious tenets) do so because they have CHOSEN to believe it; people who don't believe it have CHOSEN not to believe it. That is not to say that such choices are always made consciously; many are made by default. But would you agree that there is a strong tendency in both camps to say that the problem is all "out there," with the other side? How realistic is such a position?
You are surely not trying to broker a truce between fanatics on either side? You would be better served trying to perform your own vasectomy (its probably far less painful too). I totally diagree with the premise of choice in this case though (perhaps they started down the road by making a choice) however, they are kept in by fear. Although just a few days ago I sat here all alone wondering if life is better as a dub with a big social circle or as a liberated loner.....
GD
