Posts by greven

6

two jokes

by greven in

why parents have grey hair .

the boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.

he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "hello?

WHY PARENTS HAVE GREY HAIR

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes," whispered the small voice."May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there anyone else there in your house?" the boss asked the child. "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child."Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed hushed voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied, along with a muffled giggle:

"Me." A BLONDES JOKE: A blind man goes into a womensbar. He walks up to the tap and orders a beer. After a while he decides to cheer the place upa bit and asks the person behind the tap: "Hey would you like to hear a blondes joke?" The entire bar instantly falls silent. With a deep menacing voice the female next to him says "Before you go on sir there are five tings you need to know:

One: The person behind the tap is a blonde female. Two: The bouncer is a blonde female.
Three: I am a 1,90 meters tall, 100 kilo's heavy blond female with a black belt in karate.
Four: The female next to me is blond too and is a professional weight lifter.
Five: The female on your other side is also blond and does wrestling for a living.

I advise you to think this over. Do you still want to tell your joke?"

The blind man thinks this over for e few seconds, shakes his head and says:
"Nah, not if I have to explain it five times." Feel free to add a few of your own! Greven

6

There are no contradictions or inconsistencies!!

by greven in

i found a funny site demonstrating the mental gymnastics employed by christian apologetics to refute contradictions.. .

enjoy!.

are there really contradictions in startrek?

greven

I found a funny site demonstrating the mental gymnastics employed by Christian apologetics to refute contradictions.

Enjoy!

Are there really contradictions in Startrek?

Greven

24

Religions are supposed to breed happiness. Why do they not do that?

by SpannerintheWorks in

jw
friends

from the jw's to the catholics, happiness is promised!

religions are supposed to breed happiness.

spanner

greven

Why don't they breed happiness?

Easy: because they are not designed to do so. They are designed to control people, to bring them into conformity. It is designed with organisation in the focal point, not the individual. That is also what makes it ideal to use as a vehicle for political power. Religion already controls the people, so controlling religion is tempting indeed. Imagin the power when you can control what people believe and think! Remember the Dark Ages!

Greven

5

Why Beer Is Bad For Your Health: The Final Answer.

by greven in

jw
friends

the negative effects of drinking beer have been ill-understood and mystified scientists for centuries.

but finally: the riddle has been solved, the clue reveiled, the darkness illuminated, thewell, you get my drift, right?

it has now been discovered that beer contains high levels of female hormones.

greven

...And biolend too!

** uses a hanky to stop the nose bleed**

you didn't drive to get here, did you?

Greven

5

Why Beer Is Bad For Your Health: The Final Answer.

by greven in

jw
friends

the negative effects of drinking beer have been ill-understood and mystified scientists for centuries.

but finally: the riddle has been solved, the clue reveiled, the darkness illuminated, thewell, you get my drift, right?

it has now been discovered that beer contains high levels of female hormones.

greven

The negative effects of drinking beer have been ill-understood and mystified scientists for centuries. But finally: the riddle has been solved, the clue reveiled, the darkness illuminated, the…well, you get my drift, right? It has now been discovered that beer contains high levels of female hormones. When consuming sufficient amounts of this golden liquid the female hormones kick in causing you to talk gibberish and drive badly!

** Greven now runs around and frantically searches for cover **

25

The Knock at the Door After the Prayer

by stevieb1 in

jw
friends

this experience is commoly related by jehovah's witnesses:.

a man or woman is desperately searching for "the truth" or someone is about to give up on life but before they do they utter a prayer to god and lo and behold a knock is heard on the door and behind the door are jehovah's witnesses.. these experiences are used by jw's to confirm angelic direction on their work and seems to reinforce in them that they have the "truth".. how does one argue against such personal experience?.

i am no longer a jw and no longer support their organizational teachings by the way, but i'd like to throw out the above question to you all for comment and consideration.. .

greven

I would reply: "That is funny! I heard simular stories from Mormons and Adventists. What makes your stories different?".

All cults, especially door knocking ones have simular stories. Not only this one but also how horrible drunks and drug-addicts completely changed their lives by joining the One True Religion(tm). Sadly they are all anecdotal evidence that really proves nothing at all even if they did happen (and sometimes they do).

Greven

14