Posts by MisfitMeL

23

Never Had Strong Feelings - Did You Experience that as a JW?

by cognac in

jw
friends

when i went to a funeral and i cried cause i thought it was what you were supposed to do.. went to a wedding and didn't really care, just was happy cause everyone else was.. there was just never any strong feelings, except depression of course.. but anyways, did you guys ever experience that?

no strong feelings as a jw?

now that i'm coming out, i'm noticing that i'm starting to actually get more feelings... not sure if that's a jw thing or just cause i'm seeing a phychiatrist now... however, i do notice that with hubby, no strong feelings.

MisfitMeL

Looking back on my life, I can say that I have never really had very many strong feelings. There was always this pervasive depression though. I don't know why. I don't think it was entirely due to the fact that I was brought up as a JW, more like a combination of that with bad parenting and a not so happy childhood. I feel depressed thinking about how depressed I used to be! I don't know how I got through all those years feeling numb most of the time.

I still feel very emotionally stunted and I'm not sure how to go about "recovering". I find it very difficult to express my emotions, especially anger. Sometimes I'm not sure if my feelings of "love" and "affection" are genuine as I find it hard to relate to other people I find that I have to force myself to display reactions that would come easily to others.

8

For those who helped family OUT of the Org.........

by lovelylil in

jw
friends

i think this is an important topic to review time to time because so many people on jwd have seen the light and want out but have family still in.

what advice can you give others that helped you get your family out?

here are some things i did;.

MisfitMeL

Thank you Lilly! I've bookmarked all the pages including this thread and I will definitely have a good look at them later today. Much appreciated!! :)

8

For those who helped family OUT of the Org.........

by lovelylil in

jw
friends

i think this is an important topic to review time to time because so many people on jwd have seen the light and want out but have family still in.

what advice can you give others that helped you get your family out?

here are some things i did;.

MisfitMeL

Hello Lilly! Thanks for starting this thread and also giving your experience. It really is very helpful for us newer members. There are some very valuable points that we all could use.

I have stopped associating and going to the kingdom halls, but my mum doesn't know about this yet and she is also still a loyal member. I really long to be able to show her the 'truth' about the org and hopefully wean her away from it too.

I'm not sure how to eventually discuss these issues with her, but your experience and logical, calm way of handling the situation with your husband is encouraging. The concept of using only JW material to disprove beliefs is excellent! I will definitely follow that approach.

I'm just not sure where to obtain copies of such old magazines? I don't have any. My mum used to have many from the 80s onwards but I think she got rid of a lot of them when she moved. I don't know what issues she still has.

I could wait until I visit her in person to discuss these issues, but I would prefer to find a way to drop subtle hints via email and such and hopefully get her thinking and do her own research.

I'm sure there are many other members here who also have equally valuable info on such issues. Look forward to reading them all!

MeL

12

That time of year again... Mum and Memorial

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

here we go again... i never mention anything about the meetings or study articles or associating with other jws in emails to my mum so i think she suspects that i am not attending my local kingdom hall (which is true).

so the line in her most recent email isn't suprising - i hope you'll be attending the memorial on the 22nd of this month.

the thought of what i could reply is giving me a dangerous itch!

MisfitMeL

Thanks guys. I've decided I won't be attending this time. No one's going to come knocking on my door so I don't have to worry too much. I'll still email my mum and tell her that I'm going though, and hope that she doesn't ask any further!!!

On a better note, my copies of Crisis of Conscience and In search of Christian Freedom have just arrived

I never realised the second book was so thick! It's going to take a while to get through that LOL

12

That time of year again... Mum and Memorial

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

here we go again... i never mention anything about the meetings or study articles or associating with other jws in emails to my mum so i think she suspects that i am not attending my local kingdom hall (which is true).

so the line in her most recent email isn't suprising - i hope you'll be attending the memorial on the 22nd of this month.

the thought of what i could reply is giving me a dangerous itch!

MisfitMeL

Here we go again..

I never mention anything about the meetings or study articles or associating with other JWs in emails to my mum so I think she suspects that I am not attending my local kingdom hall (which is true). So the line in her most recent email isn't suprising - I hope you'll be attending the memorial on the 22nd of this month.

The thought of what I could reply is giving me a dangerous itch! I'm definitely not attending (I know she will ask things like 'how many were in attendance' etc to catch me out). I think I will probably say 'Yes I am' and then change the subject like I usually do, but sometimes I get the urge to say No and all hell will break loose!! I hate fading, but I don't really have a choice. There's so much I would like to say to her... it would all tumble out if I let it, but I know I should take it slow and play my cards right and hopefully she might start thinking and doubting too..

I just don't know how to go about it... or what I could say withouth arousing suspicion

I went to the memorial last year because I felt guilty about lying to mum.... I tried to arrive as late as possible so I didn't have to chat to anyone. Unfortunately, if you're an unfamiliar face, you are quite a target! Immediately a 'sister' tried to 'befriend' me and be really nice to me... asked me where I came from, what I did etc etc. I started to realise that she assumed I was an 'interested person' and I felt this awful feeling sweep over me...

before I could say anything, the service began. She was being very helpful and lent her songbook to me. After the service, I tried to leave immediately, but I had to hand over the songbook. As I did, she asked me what made me to attend the memorial, who referred me etc. I mentioned I'm baptised and decided to attend since I haven't in a while.... and all expression and warmth just vanished from her face. She just went 'Oh.' and quickly went to find her hubby, who I think is an Elder. I was trying to make a getaway LOL when he showed up and tried to casually ask me which congregation I was from etc. etc. He seemed pleasant enough, but I found the entire experience embarrassing and something didn't feel right.

I'm not a very observant or astute person but sometimes I can 'feel' things and I felt the lady's 'niceness' was contrived and fake in some ways and she 'cooled' off when I wasn't really a newbie. It made me feel a little sad and hurt and mostly annoyed and angry coz I felt cheap.

And I've decided I'm never going again, no matter how guilty I feel!

Sorry for the rant, I could vent to my bf but he'd just look at me blankly coz I know he won't really 'get' it... bless his socks! lol

30

My life growing up as a witness...

by RFlores in

i have just spent the last 4 hours reading many various posts and finally built up the courage to register and share my experiences.

i am only 20 years old, but my young age should not overlook my intelligence as an observing individual.

i was born into the religion of the jehova's witnesses.

MisfitMeL

Welcome R.Flores and Busta! I'm a newbie here too

This is a great place to vent all those feelings of frustration and pain that we've had to keep inside for so long, either because we were too scared to say them out loud in front of other JWs or because non-JWs didn't quite understand what all the fuss was about!

Everyone here has been through something similar and we can all related to such experiences and encourage and comfort one another because of it. Look forward to more of your posts!

Mel

6

Thank you Ray

by seek2find in

jw
friends

let's all thank ray franz and his associates for making the 2 books available in pdf download version.

thanks ray!

sorry if this has already been discussed, i might have missed it.

MisfitMeL

I purchased the PDF version of CoC about two days ago, but I was unable to open the file with the password. It gives me some sort of corruption error. I'm really disappointed I really wanted to read it this weekend coz I've got some spare time on my hands..

I emailed the publishing company, but they have yet to get back to me Do you know anywhere else that sells the PDF copy?

66

Hello!

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

as you can probably tell, it's my first post here!

i've visited this forum several times over the past few months and i've just decided to join and wade into the community.

i'm looking forward to some interesting conversations and meeting new people.. .

MisfitMeL

Welcome to the board, MisfitMel, I can tell you have an awesome personality!
Rachel

Aww thank you Rachel! I have to admit I do feel quite at home here

*waves to Oracle and Spaznik*

66

Hello!

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

as you can probably tell, it's my first post here!

i've visited this forum several times over the past few months and i've just decided to join and wade into the community.

i'm looking forward to some interesting conversations and meeting new people.. .

MisfitMeL

welcome and well met, MeL.....
one good..... no, make that GREAT, thing about this board is that you CAN keep up with the spew the b0rg is publishing.... sometimes ahead of the rank and file!!
you may well be able to put your mum off the scent of your fading if you drop timely commentary about a recent study article..... there are some brilliant insights here by truly well-informed posters who can cut thru the nonsense with a rapier wit and style..... nothing i like better than a hot cuppa and the "watchtower comments" on a sunday morning.....

Hello Chickpea! (That's a very cute username by the way )

And you're right about using places like this to keep up with news even if you're out. I can't remember if it was from this site or another, or maybe both!, that I heard about the two separate WT editions. It was handy to drop that comment in while emailing my mum, so atleast it looked like I was being active

I'm definitely going to keep a close eye on the latest news so I do have something to talk about while "Keeping Up Appearances" (anyone seen that classic comedy by the way? lol)

I'm also going to read up more info on the org so I can find ways to drop subtle hints to her. I know she's seen/experienced some hypocrytical behaviour but was always 'counselled' by elders and others about it, so she probably puts it down to human imperfection.

12

Memorial Behaviour

by Tired of the Hypocrisy in

jw
friends

hi gang,.

we as humans have a need to celebrate.

we want to be happy and to share our joy and share in the joy of others.

MisfitMeL

I know what you mean!

It's hard to stop human beings from wanting to enjoy themselves and celebrate.

We all wore nice clothes, sometimes new, jewellery and make up on... the same was for the assemblies!

Everybody wanted to show their best..