Posts by MisfitMeL

46

A little advice needed on disassociating myself

by MisfitMeL in

yes i know i tend to post here only when i need advice or have something to rant about .

so i'm living in the uk but leaving very shortly to go back to my home country of india and try my career luck there (what with the recession and all that).

i'll be living with my mum for a while and i am soooo not looking forward to it.

MisfitMeL

Frankly I cannot for the life of me understand why you A) Want to go and live with your mother after the way you describe her. B) Think that DA'ing will help the situation, and C) Think that you have the prospect of a better economic future in India as a woman aged 26 than in Edinburgh.

Either you have not thought this through or I am missing something? Think it through very very carefully.... please!

Freddo

-------------------------------------------

My visa runs out soon and I need a company to sponsor me. No promising signs from my job applications. Employers are happy to take me on but none seem eager to get involved in the visa procedures. Only option left is to return home, gain some more experience and then try again.

India is not going to be easier, but at least I can stay as long as I want without a visa! :(

I don't have any place to stay when I go back, so I will have to live with my mum. I'm hoping it won't be for too long as I will probably move to another city and try flatsharing etc.

Not sure if I have a good answer for question B!! Just thought it was a sensible thing to do why do people do it anyway?

46

A little advice needed on disassociating myself

by MisfitMeL in

yes i know i tend to post here only when i need advice or have something to rant about .

so i'm living in the uk but leaving very shortly to go back to my home country of india and try my career luck there (what with the recession and all that).

i'll be living with my mum for a while and i am soooo not looking forward to it.

MisfitMeL

Hello everyone!!

Yes I know I tend to post here only when I need advice or have something to rant about

So I'm living in the UK but leaving very shortly to go back to my home country of India and try my career luck there (what with the recession and all that). I'll be living with my mum for a while and I am soooo not looking forward to it. She is a JW and still thinks I am one. I've never told her that I'm an atheist now and I haven't been to a KH here in over 3 years!

Well I know as soon as I get off the plane, she'll be full of questions about the brothers and sisters here and what's the congregation like etc.

I've decided that I should try to make it clear from the start that I no longer want to be a JW anymore. I know she will go ballistic and scream and shout and call me names... she was always emotionally abusive so it shouldn't surprise me even though it stings.

I dislike engaging in conversation with her because she never really listens to what I have to say and always talks down at me... So I've decided that the best course of action to announce my "leaving" is to write a letter and have her read it. She'll still shout and belittle, but at least I'd have got my point across!

Do I write a "formal" letter of disassociation to hand over to the KH there? Is it necessary or important? Maybe some of my mum's JW friends will come round and try to guilt me into coming back... is it a good idea to have some letters handy? I don't really want to engage in conversation unless I really have to (bit of a recluse you see...)

I'd like to write a letter for my mum, stating all that is wrong with the organisation and that is why I cannot consider this religion to be the "truth" anymore. I think I'll hide the "atheist" bit for now.

I know there's lots of resources on this site and elsewhere, but could anyone give me a brief checklist? I've bookmarked some pages and I think I have seen othe people's letters in the past that they have posted here.

I hope I can compile a reasonably good defense, and maybe it will prompt her to question things herself (hope in a wonderful thing! ).

Any advice and experiences would be appreciated :)

MeL

17

Need a little help for my birthday

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

it's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a jw) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "have a nice day.

may jah bless you etc.

" (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday).

MisfitMeL

If they were like my parents, they didn't get by "cheap."
They merely donated everything that WOULD have been for celebrations to the WBTS.
It would have been cheaper for them if they were worldly.
MisFitMel,
I can't be there but I'm sending something. And you save on calories, too!

Thanks for the delicious looking cake LBS! I can lick my screen for hours and not gain a calorie!

I live in hope that my mum will one day see the light LOL

17

Need a little help for my birthday

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

it's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a jw) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "have a nice day.

may jah bless you etc.

" (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday).

MisfitMeL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!
I am glad that you are here to enjoy it!! Your cake is yummy!!!! Have a piece.

Tis a bit small... more like a muffin cake, but it'll do

17

Need a little help for my birthday

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

it's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a jw) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "have a nice day.

may jah bless you etc.

" (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday).

MisfitMeL

Happy Birthday MisfitMel.
So are you having a party?

Thank you free2think Nope, no party. I did get some nice birthday presents and a card from my boyfriend. And we are going out for dinner tonight, but that's about it on the celebration scale. I've never had a birthday party before so I feel weird having one now. I'm also a quiet and private person and don't like too much fanfare LOL

17

Need a little help for my birthday

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

it's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a jw) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "have a nice day.

may jah bless you etc.

" (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday).

MisfitMeL

Happy Birthday!!!! No there has been no change in the organization. My parents never acknowledged my birthday. Now I have children and the day goes un noted by them. I say they got by pretty cheap all those years. No birthday, no Christmas, no Easter baskets, no Halloween costume, no dresses for dances and no college education.

Ouch! That is cheap

17

Need a little help for my birthday

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

it's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a jw) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "have a nice day.

may jah bless you etc.

" (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday).

MisfitMeL

I know how you feel. I kept going to meetings knowing it was rubbish because I didn't want to hurt my parents. But then I got to the point I couldn't do it anymore. So I told them. It was the hardest thing I ever did. But they got used to it and it's much better.
Parents are smart - your mum probably suspects you're not going.

Yeah you're right.. she probably suspects anyway else she wouldn't keep asking about it. I still can't bring myself to do it though I hate breaking her heart

17

Need a little help for my birthday

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

it's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a jw) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "have a nice day.

may jah bless you etc.

" (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday).

MisfitMeL

Hi Mel,
Happy Birthday!
No, there hasn't been a change, JWs are as unreasonable as ever. Your mum sounds sweet. I'd say just tell her you're not going to meetings. She'll get used to it.
penny

Thanks Penny! I'm still afraid of telling her I'm not attending anymore

17

Need a little help for my birthday

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

it's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a jw) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "have a nice day.

may jah bless you etc.

" (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday).

MisfitMeL

Happy B-DAY M.
Take care,
Ismael

Thank you Ismael!

17

Need a little help for my birthday

by MisfitMeL in

jw
friends

it's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a jw) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "have a nice day.

may jah bless you etc.

" (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday).

MisfitMeL

Hello everyone! :)

It's my birthday today (yay) and my mum (a JW) has a habit of sending me a text message/email to say "Have a nice day. May Jah bless you etc." (she's careful to never actually use the word birthday). Even as a kid, I never got presents or a card, but my mum would cook something nice for the day or we'd go out for dinner at a fav restaurant.

Wouldn't all that count as celebrating your birthday? I always thought it did, although she doesn't feel that way. I know JWs aren't supposed to make a big deal of their birthday, but did any of you ever do something (no matter how small) to commemorate your special day?

Anyways, sorry for rambling, but today I couldn't help myself and I replied "Thanks for the birthday wishes! (omg the dreaded B word!) Even though I know you're not allowed to do that. I really appreciate it"

This provoked a "Good you appreciate it. One year of your life has passed. Thank Jah for keeping you healthy and safe blah blah" and then a worried "Did you go for the meeting today? when's your convention? Are you going for it?"

I haven't been to a meeting in 2 years, yet I've always lied to my mum about it. She hasn't asked me if I attend for quite a few months now, and today was the first time she did.. probably cause I mentioned birthday LOL

Have there been any doctrinal changes to the way JWs treat bdays? I'm so out of touch these days. Oh and if anyone knows when the next convention dates are for the UK so I can fib about it, I'd be most grateful