I lost my faith when I was twelve. I have to start from the beginning: My father started molesting me when I was 5 years old. My mother started studying with the JW's when I was 6. She was trying to find the "right" religion and found it with the JW's, so I was brought up as one as well. My father started studying after a while. He studied off and on for the next 8 years. I was abused during this time as well. When I was old enough to understand that what he was doing to me was wrong, I was confused as to why Jehovah let that happen. I figured that maybe I was a bad person and that Jehovah didn't love me 'cause I wasn't worthy. Then I would go to the meetings and they would tell you that Jehovah was a loving God. I was really confused. I tried my best to be a "good" person, but the people in the congo always treated me differently from the other kids. To this day I'm not sure what it was about me that made people think badly of me. I never did anything wrong. I went to the meetings and service. I commented at the meetings and the book study. I didn't smile much and kept to myself a lot of the times. I wasn't anti-social or anything.It always seemed like the brothers wouldn't want their kids to hang out with me. Anyway, I decided to get baptized at age 11 because I thought that Jehovah would protect me if I devoted my life to him. Of course I was greatly mistaken. The abuse didn't stop and the brothers where even nastier to me. One year later my father got baptized. He had stopped molesting me 2 months before. The day he got baptized was the day I started to lose my faith. He started to get privliges in the congo and even said the prayer at the end of the book study. Everyone treated him with respect and treated me like dirt. Needless to say I stopped praying. I told my mother that I didn't want to go to service anymore because I didn't feel the love for Jehovah that the bible talked about and I didn't want to be a hypocrite. She said she didn't care and that I would have to fake it. At this point I had already told her of the abuse and my lost faith. By the time I was 15 I was convinced that I didn't want to be a JW. I decided to tell a friend about what had happened to me and he in turn told the Elders. To make a long story short, CPS was called and my father had to flee because he was going to be arrested. People in the hall didn't know what was going on and the few that did didn't do anything to help me. No one tried to talk to me about why I had lost faith in the religion. It was real easy for me to leave. My Mother just wanted to get rid of me so she let me marry my 21 year old boyfriend. Of course everyone in the hall thought I had run away from home and that was that. No one tried to get me back. No one cared. So now, 10 years later I'm on this site and very happy to be out! Thanks everyone for listening.
LunaFing
JoinedPosts by LunaFing
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16
Why and when I lost my faith
by LunaFing inmy father started studying after a while.
he studied off and on for the next 8 years.
i was abused during this time as well.
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Your JW Baptism
by LouBelle ini was 16 years old when i got baptised - 1992 - it was at one of the two day assemblies.
only a few of us got baptised.
i pulled out the pictures - there i stood proudly with a friend of mine in our cosies (shirts over) towels wrapped around us.
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LunaFing
I was 11. My Mom didn't want me to get baptized. She didn't think I was ready because I had (according to her)a bad attitude. I was being molested by my father at the time so of course I was a little strange! I wanted to get baptized because I thought that Jehovah would protect me if I devoted my life to Him. Funny how that plan didn't work out at all! A year later my dad was baptized and I lost faith in Jehovah.
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WHAT MADE YOU LEAVE? Doctrine or people?
by chuckyy inhi.. just wondering what made you take the final leap out of the org?
was it doctrinal in that certain things just didnt add up or was it because of the actions of people in the org.
that made you leave?
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LunaFing
It was people's actions that got the ball rolling for me. It didn't feel right either. I am extremely motivated by my feelings, and I just didn't feel it... MMO You took the words right out of my mouth!
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What will you do when the Great Tribulation Begins?
by Malkiel ini've always wanted to ask this question to those that have decided to leave the organization.. what will you do when the great tribulation begins?.
right now folks, a lot is happening in the political world.. gordon brown (prime miniter of england) last week gave a speech to the un stating that it is time for the un to step in and solve the world's problems, (specifically mentioning the economy and hunger crisis worldwide.).
barrack obama is shaping up to be the next president, a fellow who sure knows how to persuade and lead great crowds.
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LunaFing
lunafing- i've heard this remark before in this thread, that Jehovah is preparing to murder innocent children in Armagedon, why would he do that? That's what I'm asking you. My mom (who is a devoted and active JW) is always trying to bring me back and telling me to do it for my kids if not for myself. She says she can't stand the thought of her granddaughters being destroyed in Armagedon. I remember things like that being said when I was in "the Truth". Are you telling me that that's not true? Why don't you give me some info on that so next time my mother says anything to me about it I can "prove" to her that my kids WILL NOT be destroyed? I await your reply.
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I was "disinvited " to my younger brothers babies shower
by sosad inbecause one of the jw invitees heard i was coming and was now part of babylon the great.
just to clarify - i am part of nothing in the religious sense- my kids and husband are very catholic but i am not.. i was invited and trying to get the address after making considerable efforts to attend due to plain old busy life.. it seems "new light" says i, a fader of over 20 years is not welcome to a gathering where jws are present.
but - not just jws - there would be many other religious denominations present in the form of aunts, grandmothers, parents etc.
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LunaFing
I know just how you feel. I'm sorry that happened to you. I found out recently that my sister asked the elders if it was ok to invite me to her wedding. I was shocked. I felt hurt and betrayed. I shouldn't have been surprised though. I've been out of "the Truth" for 10 years and I guess I would be a sore in their perfect world. Now I'm not sure if I want to go. I have to agree with a few people: you should tell everyone you know about this. JW's are always portraying themselves as loving people, but we know how they really are. Good luck!
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259
What will you do when the Great Tribulation Begins?
by Malkiel ini've always wanted to ask this question to those that have decided to leave the organization.. what will you do when the great tribulation begins?.
right now folks, a lot is happening in the political world.. gordon brown (prime miniter of england) last week gave a speech to the un stating that it is time for the un to step in and solve the world's problems, (specifically mentioning the economy and hunger crisis worldwide.).
barrack obama is shaping up to be the next president, a fellow who sure knows how to persuade and lead great crowds.
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LunaFing
I don't believe that "the end" is coming, so I have nothing to worry about. My mother has been trying to drag me back to "the Truth" for 10 years now and she has asked me the same question. She has even tried to use my love for my kids as emotional blackmail to come back. She tells me I should be a JW for the sake of my children. What kind of God would destroy children just because their parents aren't JW? That doesn't seem right to me. When I'm dead I won't feel or think anymore. What is so wrong with that? Stop trying to force your beliefs on people. Why get on this discussion forum and challenge our opinions? Shouldn't you be out in service instead of being online? The internet is evil remember?
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JW's and antidepressants
by karter inmy jw wife was telling me how much better a sister was now shes on prozac it turns out half the congo is on it .
it appears jehovah's happy people are not so happy after all.
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LunaFing
I never knew of any people on meds in my congo, but that was 10 years ago. I take antidepressants, and my JW mom just about had a fit over that. She says that pills are bad for you and that if I came back to the "truth" I wouldn't need antidepressants. "All you need is Jehovah" is her motto.
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Family shunning
by LunaFing inthis is my first time in a discussion forum.
i'm an ex-jw who hasn't "officialy" left the religion because i'm afraid my family will shun me.
i've been "inactive" for 10 years.
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LunaFing
Thank you all for being so understanding! I'm so glad I found this site. I carry a lot of emotional baggage because of this religion. Thanks again to all of you!
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Wife caught me on this site - have to remember to Logoff Witness 007!
by Witness 007 inmy wife burst into the computer room and found me {gasp} talking with apostates on this site!
now she doesn't go witnessing anymore and only very rarely goes to a meeting...but talking to apostates is not on!
i quickly closed down but had to log-off later so she doesn't find out that iam "witness 007.
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LunaFing
Isn't it funny that most of us on this site have to hide it from someone? I'm so scared that my family will find out about it. They would disown me in a second!
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10
Did you ever lose patience with unreasonable witnesses?
by Hiddenwindow indid you ever get frustrated due to the inability of a witness friend to reason or be honest about the deficiency of certain wt doctrine?
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LunaFing
Yes I do. My mother doesn't get that I don't want to go back to "the truth". I've been out of it for 10 years and I'm happier now that I'm out. JW's are all the same. They have zero tolerance for anybody who doesn't have the same beliefs. It's amazing how smart people become narrow minded and stupid when it comes to their religion.