Posts by DoomVoyager

You sought a relationship with a non-JW boy, so I have to assume you weren't. Therefore, what makes you think that you will be happy spending an ETERNITY within your congregation in "paradise"? I second rebel's advice.

"First make a list of the reasons why you believe the GT is coming. Then research them one by one. Compare current stats to stats applicable to the thousands (millions) of years of human history. "

49

ARMAGEDDON IS HERE

by DoomVoyager in

jw
friends

for real this time, i promise!.

you may have heard of the collapse of several large us financial institutions this morning.

the fact that this event coincides with a major natural disaster hitting the us is, according to my parents, 100% conclusive proof that armaggedon has in fact begun.

DoomVoyager

I mean is it just his parents and random witnesses that are speculating that this is it? Or is the society saying that the stock market crashing is a sign? Speculation amongst all dubs, including the Grand Poobahs of the congregations... but nothing published yet, but then again it always takes them a few weeks to send out letters, and Washtowels are planned 6 months in advance so who knows.

49

ARMAGEDDON IS HERE

by DoomVoyager in

jw
friends

for real this time, i promise!.

you may have heard of the collapse of several large us financial institutions this morning.

the fact that this event coincides with a major natural disaster hitting the us is, according to my parents, 100% conclusive proof that armaggedon has in fact begun.

DoomVoyager

I live in a sparsely populated area. I don't think there are enough "goats" to adequately cover one end of the state to the other end. Do you think Joe Hoober will arrange buses to transport the soon to be slaughtered from the densely populated cities to rural areas for scriptural fulfillment? Perhaps the birds will carry some of the carcasses to suitably spread the slain from one end of the earth to the other end? And what about the oceans that separate the continents, perhaps there will need to be rafts of slain bodies to complete the slain-stretching-end-to-end-of-the-earth prophecy?

Well, Jesus did say that faith the size of a mustard seed could transplant mountains. So I suppose it will be up to the remaining dubs to fultill this prophecy. They will simply exersize their faith in their Lords and Saviours, the Governing Body of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, to transplant several million bodies from large metropolitan areas such as New York over to Idaho, Wyoming and such. It'll put a whole new spin on "it's raining men!" In order to cover the seas, there are nowhere near enough people on earth to do that, so perhaps Joe Hoober will whip up some handy-dandy floating dead bodies from scratch and send them off on their maiden circumnavigation of the globe. Since the Internet is a tool of the Devil, perhaps we will communicate with distant friends in the New System by placing messages in the mouths of these floating carcasses and shoving 'em out to sea. They'll be like very slow passenger pigeons, but hey nobody will be in a hurry in the noo system.

EDIT: On the other hand, there could be a completely different interpretation. Perhaps it just means that Joe Hoober will "spread those slain from one end of the earth to the other" by dismembering them and scattering the body parts evenly over the globe, just as he lovingly commanded that levite to do in the book of Judges.

As for the life raft, you might want to invest in one of these:

alt

The rubber tent-roof will protect you from Joe Hoover's fireballs as you set sail for Paradise on a sea of boiling blood! Praise Jah!

49

ARMAGEDDON IS HERE

by DoomVoyager in

jw
friends

for real this time, i promise!.

you may have heard of the collapse of several large us financial institutions this morning.

the fact that this event coincides with a major natural disaster hitting the us is, according to my parents, 100% conclusive proof that armaggedon has in fact begun.

DoomVoyager

An excellent question, Billy. Let's all turn our bibles to Revelation 14:20.

"And the winepress was trodden outside the city, and blood came out of the winepress as high up as the bridles of the horses, for a distance of a thousand six hundred furlongs."

Since we'll all be swimming in blood up to our necks, wearing red clothing will obviously be practical. Wait a minute... won't all the blood just drain into the giant cravasses in the ground? And if not then wouldn't all the evil apostates just be able to swim up out of the cracks?

49

ARMAGEDDON IS HERE

by DoomVoyager in

jw
friends

for real this time, i promise!.

you may have heard of the collapse of several large us financial institutions this morning.

the fact that this event coincides with a major natural disaster hitting the us is, according to my parents, 100% conclusive proof that armaggedon has in fact begun.

DoomVoyager

Yeah, all those crevices are going to make getting around a real pain for all the dubs who survive. All you want to do is pick your way through the mountains of rotting babies to scrounge out a bag of milk from the ruins of the convenience store, and there's a giant bottomless pit of death opened up outside your house! Sheesh!

12

Welcome to the Middle Ages: 13 Killed in Soccer Riot Due to "Witchcraft"

by daniel-p in

i've heard of riots out of patriotism and team-pride, but this is something else!

ap report: congo soccer riot over 'witchcraft' leaves 13 dead .

kinshasa, congo -- accusations that a soccer player was using witchcraft during a match in eastern congo sparked a riot that killed 13 people, a u.n.-funded radio station reported monday.

DoomVoyager

On the same note, the selling of "magical amulets" is big business in Congo. Incredibly poor people will spend huge portions of their income on these amulets because they think having an amulet will make all their money troubles disappear. Incredible.

31

The WTS lawyers ended the Book Study Arrangement

by lawrence in

to hell with the god-given book study arrangement, screw the spiritual table of food, and end the "brotherly fellowship".

the wts lawyers dictated, "end the home book studies, minimize our liability.

" and so the arrangement ended with an imprimatur by the wts lawyers, a boe letter, and a km article.

DoomVoyager

I agree with Lady Lee. They are staying after the bookstudy... and they are talking.

Well, not around here they aren't. I do agree that the book study setting is too informal for a cultic organization; they are tightening the leashes, making sure that they can monitor every word that is said.