yeah, this is too bad.
Dale, please take a breath and try to relax. Its obvious you are hurt and not sure what you should do, but you need to balance that out with looking outside anything having to do with the ORG - bad or good. Sometimes trying to focus all the energy back AT the ORG can be as unrewarding as when your energy went INTO the ORG. The GB and ORG are protected by a host of laws in the US that protect them. I can tell you are on the verg of snapping, but you need to get some friendships going with people that have nothing to do with being a JW. Before attacking anything you need to get yourself centered.
Take care.