Posts by helenhall

11

We've had an influx lately (newbies)

by dinah in

jw
friends

first off, i don't mean "newbie" in a mean way.. do you guys think it might be helpful if we have a "getting to know" you thread started?

let new ones, and long-tme lurkers feel welcome and share stories.. i've been fascinated by what i've read in the last couple of weeks, and frankly, usually too emotional to reply.

it seems the same old story replays.. .

helenhall

good to read the experiences of others. Here's some information about me.

Time: 9.10am UK time

Age 44

Married, 2 children, boy 21, girl 17

Studied after getting a knock at door when i was 16, and baptised by 17 (parents totally freaked about that, as they had taken me to church up until I was 16)

Fav food - anything vegan, whole family is vegan. Love to bake

Fav TV programme - LOST

Hobbies, love to walk, swim (esp in the sea), dance, play piano, astronomy, and love to travel

TV character I am most like - Brie from Desperate Housewives, unfortunately!! I like everything to be just so, and get fed up with myself for being like that

Childhood hearthrobs - David Cassidy, Donny Osmond, Bay City Rollers

Who I aspire to be like - Shirley Valentine - one day, one day...........!

Where I will be in ten years time - dread to think at the moment

What I hate - cruelty of any kind, to people or animals. it makes my blood boil.

Fav smell - Roses, i just bought a new perfume by Paul Smith called Roses - it smells devine

What i would do different if i could do it again - everything, i would be a hellraiser! well, probably not, but i wouldnt have lived my life with this awful guilt. Better to live one day as a lion than a thousand as a lamb!

thats me, hope it wasnt too boring!

Helen

32

How do you leave?

by helenhall in

when every single person you know is a witness, how do you leave?

has anybody here left, and had nobody on the outside.

because that's where i would be.

helenhall

Thanks for your responses. Being here, well this is like a first step, but still feels like a huge step. I feel dreadfully guilty at the moment. I am hoping that will pass. Ive spent my entire life feeling guilty so its not a new feeling.

I have a close friend in another congregation. I mentioned her in another post. She has suffered abuse from her husband for 20 years and after seeing the elders because she could no longer cope with her marriage, she was removed as pioneer, for having no respect for her husband. I saw her yesterday and she is on the edge too. I'm still being careful what I say. Maybe she is too. Great isnt it - when you cant even tell your closest friends the truth. She asked if I fancied doing a Thelma and Louise (some film she saw where two decent women decide its pay back time). Think Im going to have to try and see this film!

16

negotiating with mom

by tavash in

jw
friends

yesterday was sunny and i felt strong.

i felt up to the challenge, so i called mom.

tomorrow is one year since nan died, so we're bound to have contact.

helenhall

welcome Tavash

sorry you lost your grandma and the situation you are in with your mother.

I agree with you that 13 is too young to be held responsible for 'vows' you make. You were a minor and that makes your parents responsible not you, so if anyone should be shunned its them.

32

How do you leave?

by helenhall in

when every single person you know is a witness, how do you leave?

has anybody here left, and had nobody on the outside.

because that's where i would be.

helenhall

thank you all, good advice. i like the advice about making friends on the outside first. I have been thinking about doing this for sometime, and have had opportunity, but so inbred is the belief that worldly people are wicked, that i continue to hold back. If you have ever seen Toy Story, I feel like Buzz Light Year, when he takes off his helmet and starts to panic thinking he wont be able to breathe, because he believes that space suit really does something. Well thats the panic I feel in the world and the organisation acts like my space suit, if you get the metaphor!

5

difficult dialog

by LindaLu in

i have posted here once before my jw boyfriend and i (an evolutionist) love each other very much, but as you all can imagine we have many differences and difficult times.

the latest major debate at the moment is that (and forgive me if this might offend anyone here) but by spending so much time in the ministry service (preaching religion) and referring to any world issue as man doesnt have the answer is a very selfish and self-centred way of living ones life.

in the other hand i see many friends of mine renouncing their comfortable lifes in europe to do humanitarian voluntary field work in places like africa and for that according to this sick belief they are all ought to die in armageddon for not doing gods will now my argument above as you probably agree does not go down very well although i have tried many other subtle ways without much luck.

helenhall

hiya

i agree with AlmostAtheist. I dont think there is anything you can do. A person who doesnt want to see, just wont. No amount of reasoning will make a difference.

In my congregation, someone dating a non-witness would have been counselled and more than likely removed as a publisher.

32

How do you leave?

by helenhall in

when every single person you know is a witness, how do you leave?

has anybody here left, and had nobody on the outside.

because that's where i would be.

helenhall

when every single person you know is a witness, how do you leave? has anybody here left, and had nobody on the outside. Because that's where I would be.

24

When you went out in field service

by megaflower in

how often did you have to talk yourself into going out?.

how often did you wait till the end of the month to get some time in?.

how often did you fudge your time?.

helenhall

1. Every single time I leave the house

2. I get my time in as quickly as I can so its over and done with and I can rest

3. Never

4. Yes, always exhausted and then have to do the work I get paid for to boot

21

When a JW, what did you think about human fossils of 1.2 million years

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

when i was in and documentaries came on the telly about human fossils being found dated 800 000 years old or 1.2 million years old i would always say - they surely must have the dating process wrong (hello - i'm not expert) or would try find a loop whole to make sure that the belief of mans' 6/7000 year existance.. i also used to reason that they were probably a species of apes or forgeries - anything to make myself believe we as jws' were right - i did this without even "thinking" really - like breathing.. i even studied science & biology at school and would also have to come up with ""excuses"" for this or that.

ag what did we know we were only kids, but when you become an adult and have adult reasoning faculties one can't ignore the facts.. so what did you create as a safe bubble when things like this came up?.

.

helenhall

By telling myself they arent human, but humanlike, as this is usually the way they are described in the newspapers.

25

Stories Of Wife Abuse In The Organization!

by new boy in

there are so many.... i remember my exfather inlaw...ben regan, he was made an elder in newport r.i and that's enough to make you doubt the whole holy spirit thing right there.. i was sitting in his living room one sunday and the phone rings...some poor black sister just got the crap beat out of her and she was crying to him on the phone, she was looking for help.. ben said.

"well you must have done something really bad to make him so mad at you...i know but...what you need to do is just have another beer and forget the whole thing"....good by.. thank god must women are not putting up with this anymore, from their husbands or religions that really don't care about them.

.

helenhall

Its alive and well in my congregation. Me, as long as I play the stepford wife, things are just peachy. I did try to talk to the elders once - complete waste of time and i will never talk to them again.

my friend has put up with abuse for 25 years from her hubby. she finally plucked up courage to involve the elders, they listened to both sides and because she was brave enough to say it as it is, her reward? being removed as a pioneer for not respecting her husband.

49

Who has lost faith?

by logic&reason in

i am curious about who (after leaving) went on to other religions vs. lost faith completely.

once i started questioning the wt society, i began to question everything.

as jw's we are taught from childhood up that other religions are false - so it seems easy, after elliminating the last one, to be rid of religion altogether.. .

helenhall

Me. just walked out of a meeting. left my husband sitting there and went. he hasnt come to find me. guess the elders will though.

helen