Beautifully expressed! You could have been describing my wife as you were describing yours. It has worked out well for us simply because we were willing to face the facts, such as the ones you list in your 3rd paragraph.
By your account, your leanings were discovered by your wife. Naturally you owed her an explanation. It was not a case of your initiating a scheme to draw her away after yourself. I believe you are accurate when you say you are drawing her to Jesus, because you acknowledge that you, yourself, have nothing to offer her.
Guilt is inculcated (best word for it) by the organization. It's no wonder you feel it. My experience is that it does subside with time and more healthful information.
All the best.