How I felt for some brothers (and sisters) who were forced into public speaking but weren't suited for it, weren't good at it, and should have been spared the humiliation. But NO, in this bizarre little cult, everyone had to be a "teacher." This was one way I secretly thought other religions had it right. Let those with the inclination and talent be the teachers because EVERYONE benefits, especially the students. One reason the meetings were so enormously boring came from having to listen to speakers who had no business or desire to be up on the platform! It took much of the delight and joy out of worship and reduced meetings to just going through the motions -- very tediously. Just another way the GB is so out of touch with what really goes on in the congregation.
HappyHeathen
JoinedPosts by HappyHeathen
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13
"Woe is me" -- so say the JW's
by Gopher inthe way we were taught as jehovah's witnesses made us think everyone who didn't evangelize was in deep trouble.
1 corinthians 9:16 was often quoted at us by every travelling overseer who wanted to exhort the congregation, and that verse says in part, "necessity is laid upon me.
really woe is me if i did not declare the good news!".
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37
Do you get disappointed if no one responds?
by Larry inwriting should be for our own edification - a personal cleansing, therapeutic at the least.
if you write for other people's approval, you will be disappointed, especially when you share your thoughts on the 'net.
i've seen many folks get 'burn-out' from these boards b/c they don't get the expected respond to their post.
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HappyHeathen
I probably hold the record for being the thread killer of all time! And, damn it, it is a little disappointing. I try not to take it personally, since I am not a frequent poster here and spend more time reading. Many people here put a lot of time and energy into their postings and consequently have earned the attention and respect they get here. That's okay with me.
It does crack me up that there are certain popular personas here who could post even their laundry lists and still get oohs and ahs and all kinds of interested nods from other posters. But again I can understand that people scan the lists of posts and look for ones from their friends.
All in all, I appreciate all the posts I see here, from the long, insightful ones to the funny fluffy ones.
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60
Romance status
by Crystal injust curious as to who is single and who is not on this board.i have been with my boyfriend going on 3 years now.
we just moved in together in feb.for the most part we get along great but he has some weird habits.he also thinks i spend too much time on this site(which i do...but heck i finally belong!!
)so its hard to relate to him on the subject.he thinks i should just forget about it.sometimes i think i might be better off with someone who has more or less been where i have.
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HappyHeathen
I've been divorced for 5 years, after a 22-year marriage with an ex-JW. My current boyfriend was never a dub and is not religious, thank god.
It is very hard for him to understand the horror of my JW years, though he tries to be sympathetic. But, the up side to being with him is the new perspective and new frame of reference he brings to my life. He helps me realize when I am stuck in self-defeating behavior patterns that I may be unaware of. So, it's a mixed bag, I think.
When I need to talk to someone who understands, I get on the discussion board and talk to you guys.
Faith
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38
Tell me what you did on the doors?
by ballistic inme and my pioneer partner used to play a game while going door to door (we were obviously bored).
in our rural territory, we had a lot of time between doors to make things up, so various games evolved.
just about the naughtiest was to give your partner a word which they had to use at all costs in their presentation.. this started out as 'kingdom' and 'jesus' but soon became 'tractor', 'dog' and then even 'honda 250' and so on.
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HappyHeathen
If it was obvious that no-one was in, we used to stand at the door for ages, talking about anything but the ministry.
So hilarious that many of us did the same things to drag out FS and interface with as few people as possible. Whenever I could, I'd pair up with someone whom I suspected hated service as much as I did. Then I would set the walking pace to VERY SLOOOWWWWW. I loved it when we hit a door where no one was home. I would just keep ringing that doorbell for the longest time (hey, have to make really sure they're not home!), doing this the entire time in conspiratorial silence with the other person, who knew exactly what I was doing (and was probably relieved). Of course, we never admit this out loud to each other!
Fun to laugh about it now!
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12
Tears of Frustration, Laughter, Emotion & R...
by Englishman inwhat a day of mixed emotions yesterday turned out to be.. first off, i discovered that someone had bounced a sizable cheque on me.
1600 pounds to be precise, ouch.
her ladyship calmed me down and explained, as everywhere was closed on sunday, that there was nothing to be done until monday, so, big fella, put it from your mind!.
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HappyHeathen
Englishman,
What do you think of Mike Meyer's accent? Was it pretty authentic? To an American ear, it sounds pretty good, but I always wondered if it could fool someone who is British.
Some English and Australian actors do wonderful American accents (like Cate Blanchette or Kate Nelligan), but for some reason, it doesn't work so well the other way around!
HH
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26
Should I go??????
by SpiceItUp inok---a bit of background first.
there is this older lady that has been in my parents congregation ever since we moved to fl (14 yrs ago).
she was the sweetest, funniest, quirkiest woman ever.
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HappyHeathen
Spice,
One option is to go to the viewing instead (if there is one). I used to think that the viewing was set up purely for the family members but discovered that lots of people attend them even for friends or acquaintances. You could bring her a flower or something for her casket and say your goodbyes there.
Everyone is so correct about J.W. funerals being cold and impersonal -- I never attended one that wasn't that way, myself. But then what else would you expect from a religion that denies its members the chance to ever feel special. It's just as mean-spirited as denying birthday celebrations or anything else that singles a person out for some attention.
Whatever you decide to do, Spice, hold your head up because you are right and they are wrong. Don't forget that.
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27
Mrs Warburton...
by refiners fire inim working in an electrical store , a one man operation, and everything goes thru a computer system called "myob", all purchases and sales.
anyway, i wouldnt have a clue how to operate this myob program except for selling company registered parts.
some salesman from the parent company told me to obtain a rubber seal for a vegetable steamer the other day, it was for a little old lady called "mrs warburton".
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HappyHeathen
Refiners,
You just KILL me! That story is hilarious.
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46
Mom - Why do you treat me like the damned!
by zenpunk innot that my mom would ever visit this site - but i have to just vent.
last night my mom promised she would meet me at home to help me move some furniture.
she made it seem like it was a tremendous deal and the only reason why she would be by would be because she had something else to do in the neighbourhood.
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HappyHeathen
I'm so sorry about your mom, Zenpunk.
I'm in the opposite situation -- my only daughter is JW who hasn't spoken to me 10 years. I left the Borg in 1975 and very stupidly let my ex-husband have custody of her (thinking she would die at Armaggedon if she went with me). I had visitation rights (every other weekend) until she was about 15, when she began to phase me out of her life once her father and his family put the pressure on to get baptized. Then about the time she turned 17 she showed up on my doorstep, asking if she could live with me since she wasn't getting along with her father. Turns out she was dating a 25-year old he did not approve of.
She lived with me for about 6 months, and what an odd experience that was. She never really relaxed around me -- I always felt that wall between us. She had to walk that fine line between getting what she needed from me (money, permission to see her boyfriend, etc.) and trying to pacify the congregation enough to avoid being disfellowshipped. I SO allowed myself to be used by her, but I thought if I gave her everything I could, love might prevail over the dubs. Unfortunately, I was so WRONG! Once she got married to this young man and moved into her own place, that was it for me. Mom had served her purpose and was no longer useful.
Perhaps this is what galls me most about witnesses. They really are taught to USE non-witnesses badly. No, the magazines don't directly tell them to do that, but they learn it through attitudes and the examples of others.
Another thing that galls me. I believed I was a moral, good-hearted person, living a clean life. But she felt guilty for spending time with me. So on the weekends she'd hang out with her boyfriend's "worldly" family, who were mostly loudmouth bickering drugusers! Go figure.
Hey I just have to vent.
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Are you socially retarded? - For the newbies
by Billygoat indon't let this title startle you.
i'm not starting a flame war.
this is something that i've thought a lot about since i have two dogs.
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HappyHeathen
Andi,
Shrewd insight of yours about growing up dub and having a lack of social skills. I totally agree. I felt invisible at school since I was terribly shy and spent most of my energy avoiding being a target. I hid the fact that I was a witness as much as possible and lived in terror of running into a schoolmate while going door to door.
On the other hand, I was never accepted by the kids in the congregation either. My mother was labeled "weak", and my father was a nonbeliever. My sister and I had no status in the congregation and were looked down on by the elders kids -- never invited to their slumber parties or to the movies. We were just little annoying ragamuffins always in need of a ride to the meetings. So I was very lonely as a child and spent a lot of time in my room depressed and crying. In later years, I formed friendships with the renegades and fringies like me.
I believe these experiences took a great toll on my self-esteem. To this day I have a hard time believing that someone truly likes me for me. I tended to go overboard in offering help, feeling I have to "buy" people's friendships. Sorry if this sounds whiny ...I know it is. I have improved A LOT in the last ten years in this area -- have learned to stop being a broken-winger and now select my friends more carefully. I have developed a selfish attitude these days -- I will only make time for people whose company I truly enjoy and who bring something interesting and special into my life.
HH
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31
Does Yours Vibrate?
by Englishman ini feel like some fluff tonight.. so, c'mon, tell us all about your.........mobile phone!.
what make is it?.
contract or pay-as-you go?.
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HappyHeathen
Nokia 5160
Heck if I know if it vibrates ....I'm bad about reading owner's manuals.
Contract as you go (got a special deal through the company I work for).
Never send text messages since they cost $.10 each and I manage to make all my calls within my allotted minutes anyway. Besides I'm lazy and hate fooling with text messages.
I'm still filled with childish delight at how cool it is to make calls while driving (pulling over to the curb, of course :-))
HH