Mom - Why do you treat me like the damned!

zenpunk

Not that my mom would ever visit this site - but I have to just vent.

Last night my mom promised she would meet me at home to help me move some furniture. She made it seem like it was a tremendous deal and the only reason why she would be by would be because she had something else to do in the neighbourhood. She said for me to meet her at 6:30PM. Well, the weather was bad, the traffic was bad, and I was 10 minutes late. She was already long gone. When I called her, she was cold as usual, basically saying too bad, I was late and now she won't help.

Of course, this isn't the real issue, this is just one of many examples of the symptoms of the real issue. My mother once said to me, "well, since this life is all there is for you and you don't know how long it will last, you better make sure you find some kind of happiness I guess". She basically has left me for dead. If I even ask her about the assembly, etc., she won't tell me because I'm an apostate and she is carefully following the elder's advice. In the 8 years since I left, she has been inside my home less than 10 times. She has never had a meal at my home, not for lack of me always having my door open to her.

Alls I can say is - Mom. What's the matter with you? I'm your flesh and blood. I thought you loved me! I don't use drugs. I don't sleep around. I rarely even swear! I just decided "the truth" was not what it claimed to be. Now you let a group of men condition you not to love your own daughter and mentally prepare yourself for the day she will be wiped off the face of the earth. Why?

Thanks for listening.

Edited by - zenpunk on 27 June 2002 10:15:42

zenpunk

Sorry - I meant "do" not "to" - guess I'm getting too emotional to type today!

Angharad

(((((zenpunk))))) Sorry

Vent away people here care

Gopher

Hi Zenpunk,

Just to let you know -- you can click the icon with a pencil in the upper RH corner and correct your post, rather than creating a whole second post just to change spelling on one word.

As far as parents are concerned, I can really feel what you are going through! The WT Society has deeply indoctrinated your mom & my parents to believe that anyone outside the JW organization, especially those who left, are human scum. The love is sucked out because our parents choose to go along with the organization's teachings. The organization hardens their hearts and brings the cruelty to the surface.

This coming week, my parents will be visiting Minnesota (where I live) from their retirement home in Florida. Yet they have already told me not to expect them to visit me or my 3 and a half year old daughter. Of course my daughter is a victim by guilt of her association with me, her "unrighteous" father. They have no real reason to shun me, they only do so out of their fear that they will suffer God's wrath at Armageddon if they go much beyond saying "hi, how are you and bye" to me.

I have sent them a letter inviting them to see me and my daughter, telling them I have not disfellowshipped them, and asking for some sort of explanation why (if they choose to still not see us). The letter will fall on deaf ears, because unfortunately there seems to be a large stone where their heart should be.

Know what I mean?

buffy

I know exactly what you mean. My mom treats me the same way. I guess I should just be gratefull that she speaks to me at all. Although she uses my son as an excuse to talk to me. She rarely ever stops over, unless it's to pick up her grandson, but she'll talk to me on the phone for an hour. Then the next time I call her, she'll say that she really shouldn't be talking to me this much, and cut the conversation off short. It drives me nuts. She's more torn then ever. She's already going against the Jw's by even speaking to me, but I guess she feels if she lets me know how she feels every so often that it's okay. We had our family reunion the other week. What a mess. My husband hates to go, because of how it makes me feel. My mom will speak to me and so will my uncle ( hell, he'll even give me a hug) But my aunt, just sits there, not saying a word. It's so freaking ridiculous. So, we end up eating and leaving. Kind of ridiculous to be running from your "family reunion."

Buffy

SpiceItUp

(((((zenpunk)))))

I can only imagine how hard that must be for you. My parents still speak to me. Just hang in there and eventually I'm sure she will see that you aren't the horrible person the WTS society makes you out to be. Please vent as much as you need to.

Chin Up

Spice

Fire Dragon

Gopher and Zenpunk,

I totally feel what you are going through. I was DFd earlier this year. My father has since told me not to ever call his house again. He said that if my mom wanted to keep track of my life then that was up to her. She barely emails me. My "dad" (as I now call him with the quotation marks) told me that if anything happened to anyone in the family that he would call and let me know. He lied. I talked to my grandmother on Monday and found out that she just got home from the hospital after having had SURGERY!! I was so upset that he didn't bother to call me. My grandma was shocked that he hadn't told me. I have come to the conclusion that it is now up to me to keep in touch with my family that isn't in the "truth".

It has been very painful for me to let them go but I am getting there. They treat me like I'm dead and thus I'll do the same to them. The saddest thing is that my parents will be gone one day and all this precious time will be lost. And all in the name of "God".

DakotaRed

Zenpunk, I am so sorry for what you are going through. It hurts like hell. Yours is but another example of how the Watchtower has twisted minds and helped followers "dominate man to his ruin." What is sad is that if you review their literature, they claim that family ties still exist and you still have a responsibility to family. But, they preach and teach different.

To place membership in a cult above the love of your own children is unthinkable to me. Fortunately, neither of my daughters had ever gotten involved with the dubs, but if they had, no damn elder would ever convince me that I couldn't speak to or associate with them. Had one tried, he just might have experienced a punch in the mouth (and I haven't done anything like that in over 35 years).

Please, feel free to vent all you need. Then, maybe call your Mom and tell her exactly how you feel. As an adult, you are no longer in subjection to them. Finish off by telling her you will always be there if she ever needs you.

Love in the JWs? They don't know what love is.

Lew W.

roybatty

Zenpunk,

Im really sorry to hear about the way your mother treats you. If nothing else, know that youre not alone. Its not something that youre doing wrong. The fault is hers, not yours. But sometimes we forget this. My mother hasnt spoken to me since I was DAd a couple of years ago. As a matter of fact, my kids were at her house for the past few days visiting and when it came time to bring them back, she shouldnt drop them off at my house. Instead we had to meet at my parents business. As usual, no words were exchanged.

I know that its hard not to get angry. Its hard to understand how they can be so callused. But remember, we were that way once. Sometimes all one can do is move on. We cant force them to love us.

Roybatty

teenyuck

{{{zenpunk}}}

My mom still speaks to me, so I don't have the pain you do. I am so sorry. Hopefully, she will have a change of mind and have a relationship with you.

Please, vent away, anytime. That is why we are here.

Tina

Mom - Why do you treat me like the damned!

Share this