this may be a rare thing on this board, don't know, because this is my first post, but i was raised jw and officially 'checked out', in my own mind, at 14 or so, because it just didn't make sense that god would destroy so many good people who are wholeheartedly trying their best to please him and worship him in truth.
i actually did not pray or give god a passing thought for 12 years or so because the god i had been raised to know was no one i wanted to worship.
but here in the past year something brought me around to him.
So sorry for your bad experience. My father an elder of 17 years reacted similarly to my older sister's being raped and a fellow witness woman who was raped as well. Both times he blamed the woman for the abuse. It's unfortunate and not uncommon-you're not alone.
I am going through many simialr issues as you. In fact I'm posting a new thread topic under dealing with abusive JW parents-I hope to hear from you on it.
P.S.
I'm new too, but welcome anyway...
this is a text message i just received from a guy who was in my old congregation.
(ps, no there was no shenanigans going on there, i wasn't interested in this guy in that way...even though he was possibly the best friend i had ever had within jws).. "hi rob.
please come back to the truth.
You know when I was 'on my way out' I had several friends apear, that I had not hung out with in a long while. I later found out it was at the prodding of my witness sister that they were trying to 'encourage' me. Of course once I was df'd I never heard from these friends again. Just something to think about....
for me, it's having friends that i don't have to hide my lack of meeting attendance/service from.
it's amazing how they teach you that only jws can be your real friends, but in reality, it's all contingent upon your religious "performance.
" sure, if you're not going to meetings, they'll try to be "friends," by encouraging you to go back.
FREEDOM-being able to do want I want without an amazing guilt trip that keeps me awake at nights.
Here's the nasty truth about me: I like to drink, I am happy that I slept with my husband before I married him (everything works in that dept.), I would like to someday hold an office that would require people to vote for me, I enjoy spending time on things I llike instead of constant worship to god and I will never walk out a movie baring titty's again-and I will teach my children every one of these naughty tricks.
I like that I am myself and I am happy now. I highly reccomend it to anyone thinking about making the change.
i guess its time to throw my little story out there.
i keep reading everyones stories and thinking how brave you have all been, coming out of the organisation and facing all the repercussions of doing so.. .
i only last august disassociated myself.
I always miss the exciting first page of a thread!
Here's my two cents....finally. As shocking as this may sound: I wish I was gay. I cannot understand how men and women cohabitate. At least my experiences with men, including my hubby-whom I love, drive me crazy. But I do like men 'in that way' even though there are plenty of days I wish I didn't.
With that being said, my feelings are that gay rights will catch up with the civil rights of African Americans, women, and pregnant women. It's coming, everyone so hang in there. I am a big proponent of gay rights and feel that sexuality should not in any way define a person's skill level or for that matter-humanity. I'll defend that to the death.
As far as the Bible goes, if I subjected myself to the 'word' I would be participating in stonings, shunnings, women subjecting themselves to men, righteous men using prostitutes-concubines and oh have I forgotten...more than one wife. The bible of all books clearly outlines the sexual evolution of mankind.
My favorite point to JW's: if man was once allowed to have more than one wife to 'fill the earth' (as their reasoning goes) than homosexuality should make perefect sense now that the earth is filled and we no longer need to reproduce. Let's show some consistency. If sexual moral laws were based upon a need for procreation back then, why not now?
im being hounded by elders intent on having a judicial hearing with me.
im recently separated, (i left my spouse) and i believe they are after me to df me for adultery as ive taken up with someone else.
i havent returned their calls, (they've been coming the last 2 weeks or so)
Sorry about your situation.
Did I mention I was df'd in a grocery store parking lot? Yes, sorry to say the elders will most likely keep hounding, and following you. Sometimes they will let it go when you haven't been to meetings in a long time, but not if there's a JW ex still active and sqwaking about the situation.
I cannot give any advice on this, all I can say is that even though I resisted getting df''d it was good for me in many ways-and a relief not to have an entire congregation of people breathing down my kneck. Best wishes.
last night i had an interesting talk with my wife in bed.. oprah had a show on recently about gays.
now i don't normally watch oprah, but she was watching a taped one in the evening, so i was just overhearing stuff.
anyway, i think my wife puts more faith in oprah than in the gb :).
About the bitterness...I just wanted to add that although new here, and getting all my bitterness out : ) I have to say that I respect anyone who can get on with things but I know the pain of those who can't. In the case of those with JW ex's and children involved or JW family members you are kind of tied to the religion.
I went to a therapist who tried to teach me about getting over the past, I told her 'I have gotten over the past, it's the new things that keep popping up everyday that bring back my anger, I have to deal with it all over again'. I've gotten over the 7 year custody battle for my son, and I've gotten over having to give him to his JW father because I ran out of money to keep fighting, but then when my ex took me to court so he could have my parenting time for a summer convention-I got angry again!
I guess I'm bitter on and off too, and I don't ever hope to magically awake one day and have it be all better-at least not before my son turns 18. So to those of you still bitter you can complain to me any time...I understand.
hi everyone, im new.
i've been feeling a burden on myself for the years that i have been out and i just don't know how to ease it.
i can't talk about the organization or the people in it to anyone... if i try i immediately feel sick and want to close up and just disappear.
I'm new here too-I don't know if you're still reading these, you have a ton of replies!
I just wanted to add that I disagree about college being useless, it's not just about getting a job. It's about opening your mind to the way the rest of the world functions- which JW's never teach you, since you are supposed to be 'no part of the world'. College broadens your ability to think through problems and even think through want you want from life. You may not even now about the direction you want your life to go in yet, because like me, you may have been sheltered from what the world has to offer.
I would strongly encourage you to go to college-even if you just start off with a basic degree or a class in an area you are interested in. It can give you positive things to think about, and you will meet other people who are also still looking for direction, but who are willing to take that first step.
I am acheiving my second degree next year, I went back to school after after being raised as a witness and being df'd (5 years as a regular pioneer). It was the best choice I ever made.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/157788/1.ashx.
in the above thread, otwo made a comment about how someone might sue the wt based on their shunning policy.
i have not seen the topic discussed here and have been unsuccessful in getting the search function of the site to gather information about it, but i wonder if we as a group could sue the washtowel society.
I think it's time for me to let this go. I just want to say in one final hurrah-everyone's right to religious freedom is important and can be upheld by law: it would be harder to prove that someone who chose to be a JW THEN got df'd has suffered the same amount of victimization as someone who was raised a JW and later shunned for choosing another way of life. I find it interesting that none of the naysayers so far, have specifically commented on the basis of a law suit defendeding the right to religous freedom of minors in this situation.
Yes, it would cost money, time, effort, energy etc. etc. I think we all agree on this. However, the wtbts is not the messenger of God and somehow devoid of public responsibility for their actions against the civil rights of the American public. I would just ask those with such strong opinions against 'suing the tower' to consider whether this "feeling" (as this is all you've shown me it is) is based upon your prior doctrinization into the cult and not wanting to be called apostate or anything close because of JW relatives....I could be way off on that one.
Thanks for a lively exchange.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/157788/1.ashx.
in the above thread, otwo made a comment about how someone might sue the wt based on their shunning policy.
i have not seen the topic discussed here and have been unsuccessful in getting the search function of the site to gather information about it, but i wonder if we as a group could sue the washtowel society.
John Doe I'm sorry I cannot figure out the quote and respond function so far. I wanted to respond to your comment about unethical behavior and providing hope against an action happening that is unrealistic. You can end this discussion by responding to me with legal research and good case law indicating that a suit filed against wtbts in each of the states would be rejected. If you cannot prove accross the board that this suit or any suit with relating issues would not be heard, then you have no argument. Once in a Judge's hands, no one can say where it would go.
Secondly, with all due respect to those of you who have posted examples of cases that have not gone through, what I cannot say loudly enough for all to hear is :
Just because one specific reuquest was put through in one state, does not mean the topic is closed or **that this example qualifies as precedence**
A) many side issues off the same topic may be filed successfully
B) diiferent courts have different leanings per the state they represent, you will get different rulings in Texas state courts both civillay and criminally than in New Jersy state courts which are typically more liberal.
Finally, I do not control anyone's response to what they read here. You can read it and take hope, or you can read it and be irritated. My main goal is that you read it and understand that factually and realistically speaking, the US legal system does not operate the way the wtbts does. Anyone can pursue an issue they see as relevant and if they have a good attorney who understand the law, the paperwork, and can argue well, they have as good a chance as anyone at success. I think I speak for many here when I say simply opening the topic for the court system and the public to examine is itself a 'win'.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/157788/1.ashx.
in the above thread, otwo made a comment about how someone might sue the wt based on their shunning policy.
i have not seen the topic discussed here and have been unsuccessful in getting the search function of the site to gather information about it, but i wonder if we as a group could sue the washtowel society.
I just have one more thing to say here about my previous post: you can attack me personally, my mispelled writing (apologies all around!) or try to make anyone who comes out with this idea feel like a prick. But, unless you can give me some substance, some documentation, some factual arguments to support your responses, then all I can think is that you are offering your opinions-nothing more. I can't argue opinions, you are welcome to them, but clearly opinions are not food for thought to the critical thinker-unless they are a politician.
