Laura,
You are on Effexor right now?
Please talk to your Dr. and tell him you are having thoughts of suicide. Effexor works well for some, but not always so well with those who have suicidal tendencies. He may suggest you take something different.
My cousin began taking effexor and a few weeks later, she swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. Her friends found her in time, but she had to have her stomach pumped and she remembers every minute of it. She awoke during the procedure and said it was the worst experience of her life.
I asked her why she tried to kill herself and she said she had thoughts of it before, but never had the nerve. She said for some reason she felt unusually calm, no inhibitions and wanted to sleep forever. She said she hadnt felt that way until she began taking the Effexor.
I think the medication helped her with the anxiety she was facing going through med school, but for some reason she still felt very depressed and then maybe just calm enough to go ahead and attempt to kill herself.
I hope your Dr. can help you, maybe elaborate more. Dont be afraid to talk to him and tell him your feelings. Sometimes meds can help, but they can also contribute to your emotions, ya know?
Stay well hun.