Jgnat, I LOVE your statement -" Here's the thing. Has anyone asked the children? What of their hopes, ambitions, dreams? I strongly believe it is the job of every parent to help their child reach their full potential. " I personally also see this as one of our major responsibilities as parents, and of course we even make sacrifices to make it happen for each one!
I remember talking to one of the JW teens my daughter was close to, at our house, while he was in high school. I always like to show enthusiasm/support for their dreams/plans, and he had wanted to be a band director, super talented in music! As i was asking him questions, and being excited over it, he just started mumbling and looking down at the ground, and seemed very sad/uncomfortable. -- His brother at their graduation, excitedly told me he would like to become an engineer.(smart enough to do it too!)
Fast forward almost 5 years later. "engineer" brother is working as a lifeguard, a job kids around here do at age 16; he's pushing 23. He said he is taking classes to work in something related to what the dad does, which he also told me about 3 years ago, So obviously he is still not even qualified for that job. But he remarked it'll be good, because it's 'easy.' He told my daughter, who he was in love with for years, that he loves living at home, it's a sweet gig, and he hopes he can as long as possible!! -- Other brother we knew as a teen is almost 25, left college after a year or 2, lives at home, and i think has some kind of anxiety disorder, and doesn't seem to do much. Oldest brother recently moved back home, he must be around 30. So here we have FOUR GROWN MEN, not even close to being able to move out, marry, etc.!! As a parent, this just makes me SO MAD; i cannot even fathom this. I know ,i know it's the mind control ,etc.
Several of us concerned parents outside of JW world have been concerned about them for years, and we all concur that the mother has some type of mental illness, so it is a double whammy for these sons. I wish there was a way to help them. :(
I'm sure it will be so good for your kids DS211, to have one parent out of the WT, and looking at things differently, and trying to help them find their talents/passions and build a good future.