Mr. Flipper,
Thanks for the kind words. I know I was lucky to have as much say in her memorial as I did, its a combination of being an only child and of being thought of as a little bit odd anyway. (If they only knew, lol!)
And you're right, I think the next step is to find some friends. I already have one, an old one: Oompa! We discovered recently that we have a lot more in common than we thought!
redredrose
JoinedPosts by redredrose
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Can I start a new chapter of my life?
by redredrose inmy mother died earlier this month.
some of you have seen my post about calling in hospice.
she had alzheimers.
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redredrose
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redredrose
Thanks guys for the encouragement! I've reposted this with some actual content, lol!
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Can I start a new chapter of my life?
by redredrose inmy mother died earlier this month.
some of you have seen my post about calling in hospice.
she had alzheimers.
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redredrose
Let me try this again...
My mother died earlier this month. Some of you have seen my post about calling in hospice. She had Alzheimers.
I and my husband have been inactive for several years. My mother wasn't aware of my disillusionment, and I am glad of that. Being 4th generation myself, it would have broken her heart to know I rejected the faith of her grandmother and parents.
While still trying to stay under the radar as far as possible, I planned her memorial. We decided to have it at our house and at first I only wanted to have good friends and family. However the elder we picked to speak turned out to be a Chatty Kathy to the Witnesses and we ended up having it announced in several congregations. We told the elder to make it short and personal, I did not want the outline and surprisingly enough he didn't give us a hard time. (Although he did manage to sneak in some of the outline, which pissed me off but certainly didn't surprise me) I also made sure and invited worldly family members I haven't seen, in some cases for 30 years. I decided to serve food and would have loved to have served wine, but alas, that would have been too much! Amazingly, several elders showed up, even one my husband had actually called a liar several years ago (lots of background on that one), lol. My whole point was I didn't want a somber, self righteous religious feel to the whole thing. I wanted it to be warm and respectful of my mother and her life. And it worked!
One sister made a disapproving remark because we were taking pictures, but it felt like a reunion of family AND friends, and my sweet husband just walked away from her without replying.
So from now on my life will be very different. My dilemma now is how to really divorce myself from the Witnesses and live life to the full while still keeping of good terms with my family and hopefully my very best friends. Living in a small town makes it more complicated, but now I am finally ready to start living my own life, but its scary!
I will welcome any and all suggestions on accomplishing this, so many of you guys have been in similar situations, and I've seen a tremendous amount of collective wisdom on this board! -
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The elders came last night and i stood my NEW ground!!! be proud!
by New light for you inso yes, the brothers came for "encouragement" and of course, my husband is out of town on business... so it was me and the kids.. so i did let them in, i like these brothers...these are some things we discussed.... 1. i went over how that stupid "obey" email got all this started, got me to divulge to my girlfriend how i was feeling about the whole religion.
about how at the end of the call she said that she can't associate with me anymore, and then right after that call/ 30seconds later while i'm crying a pioneer called and asked "do you consider yourself one of jeh witnesses anymore??
" and i thought that was crazy for someone to try to trap me when i was sitting crying on the phone, upset with the last call... i told them that for all purposes i am already dfed since noone will talk to me anymore, and only one friend called to see what happened, everyone else just listened to the gossip of whatever spread, and wrote me off even though i'm technically in good standing.
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redredrose
I am amazed at the courage it took to face them all on your own! You SHOULD be proud as a peacock. Hopefully someday I can be as brave.
Its surprising that they would help you fade, it could be as Saltocon says: that the body may not agree, but I'm sure you are prepared for that.
Congratulations! -
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Funny/strange things you ate as a kid.
by IP_SEC inok i'll start.. 13 y/o or so.. once it rained for a month straight.
we had an old dry tank dump in the back that filled up with water.
there were tons of frogs that showed up and started breeding.. i was looking at them on the edge of the water through my .22 scope.
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redredrose
Well, I certainly can't top the nuked tadpole story!
My grandmother made delicious fried squirrel and rabbit and gravy.
My granny used to cook up head cheese (cook a whole pigs head with peppercorns and onions and vinegar, take the skin off and put the rest of the shredded meat and broth in a pan where it would set up because of the gelatin, and slice it and eat it cold) that was good. She also prepared her own chitlins, and would cook brains and eggs for my daddy.
The oddest things I liked (aside from the head cheese) that I liked when I was little was summer tomato sandwiches with Dukes mayo and potato chips. They are still delicious. -
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so anxious....first joint therapy tomorrow with jw wife....how much do I...
by oompa inshare on the first visit?
i am ready to explode!
!.....i am tired of the apostaphone and the double life....i feel like a cheat and haven't even gotten to!
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redredrose
(((((Oompa)))))
Sorry I didn't catch this thread yesterday. You got lots of good advice. Please tell us how it went. I really hope it was productive and not too painful.
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Spouse still a loyal JW? Let Jimmy Buffett help you!
by changeling ini love this song and i've posted it here before.
i think it sums up how a marriage of many years works and keeps on working.
today, while listening to it, i thought the chorus would be a nice thing to say to spouse who is still a witness (if you want to work things out).. here are the lyrics, tell me what ya'll think:.
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redredrose
Changeling, great advice!
My husband and I love Buffett and find that listening to him can usually make any problem seem not so important. He is our hero, LOL.
That laidback attitude probably helps explain why he has taken my disillusionment so well. I'm hoping that in time, he will see the religion for what it really is.
In the meantime, we'll continue with heavy doses of the Margaritaville state of mind. -
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do you love me??......
by oompa inthat is what i want to ask my jw wife now.....cause my sister (lesbian who left jw 35 years ago) does.....and several new friends here at jwd seem to as well.........so if she loves me....and they love me.....why can't they love each other too????......................oompa.
and why is my face so damm wet now.......dammit...........
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redredrose
((((((((Oompa))))))))
There is no doubt about it, you are in a very tough situation. Both of you probably feel very isolated and lonesome right now. Knowing you, Oompa, its impossible to keep all your feelings inside, and you just don't understand why your wife can't see the enormity of JW's betrayal and lies (I don't understand why MY husband doesn't quite see it either). Sometimes the only answer is patience, and you have to ask yourself if your relationship is worth waiting for.
And, yeah, I know its alot easier to say that than do it.
I think OTWO gave the very best advice, in effect to put as much weight on your partner's feelings as on your own. Now, I'm going to try to do that for my own husband.
Whatever you decide to do, you know that there will always be love and support for you right here on this board.
Who could not love Oompa? -
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Called hospice yesterday
by redredrose infor my mother who has alzheimers.
my husband and i made the decision over the weekend.
she is just getting weaker by the day, has no interest in food or liquid, and .
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redredrose
Thanks all for your wonderful posts.
Yes, they came out the day after I called and they have been wonderful. They had her meds delivered the same day they came out, and CNAs are coming on all the days I need them.
They say it won't be long as she has not eaten any food for about 3 weeks and is not drinking anymore fluids. So they are helping to just keep her comfortable.
Thanks for sharing your own experiences and for your kind words.