I volunteer to keep the car or the daughter at my house until Friday.
Hmmm
Posts by Hmmm
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14On the lighter side.....more gushing
by TR insome on this forum may remember the thread where i was gushing uncontrolably about my daughter graduating high school and receiving her aa from the local community college.
she will be attending gonzaga u. in the fall, btw.. anyway, just gushing a little more.
this friday is her 18th birthday, then she'll be graduating h.s.
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13
He got his 'bits' caught in his zipper!
by LDH ineman if you are reading this, i thought you might enjoy knowing my sister is dating an englishman in his own right.
never has been jw, and she da'd 7 years ago.. this weekend they were hiking in the woods and as he was zipping his pants, he remarked summat like, "i've gotten me bits caught in me zipper!".
she had a good laugh at his expense, as did i when she told me the story.. so what do you think?
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Hmmm
"What's he doing in there"
"Maybe he's masturbating"
"We got a bleeder!"
"He was masturbating!""How'd you get the beans above the frank?"
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3
Is There A Lawyer In The House?
by Jacinta inhttp://www.calib.com/nccanch/pubs/stats01/mandrep.cfm#az .
does this law mean that priests, clergymen, elders, etc.
are not mandated to report abuse?
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Hmmm
We just got out from under the WT's thumb, do you think we'd mess it up by hanging around with lawyers?
Hmmm
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54
Some Musings
by Farkel ini sent it to kent.
the only thing that kept me going was the thought of what my suicide would do to my children for the rest of their lives.
i finally got the courage to seek help for that depression, and im fine now.. alanf and gedanken (two of my good friends) helped me out, and i am most grateful for that.
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Hmmm
Glad to see you back, Farkel.
Since it's your birthday, would you like anybody's head on a silver platter? (Only one, not 12)
Hmmm
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12
What do you do at a birthday party?
by flower inplease pardon my ignorance and stupidity but if i cant ask ya'll who can i ask?
thats good for a little girl right?
and i asked her mom if there was anything she needed help with.
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Hmmm
According to my upbringing, birthday parties usually end up with someone getting their head chopped off.
I attended my nephew's birthday party a few months ago. He was turning three, and I figured he was getting to the age where he would start noticing who was there and who wasn't.
Imagine my chagrin when nobody died under a headsman's axe.
Anyhoo... your role as guest at a munchkin's birthday party is really simple: Bring your munchkin, offer to help the poor... er, happy mother to serve cake etc..., get to know the other parents, and sit back watch the kids have a blast. A Superbowl party for kids is a good comparison.
One thing I did notice in my foray into public worldliness, is that any time you get 10-15 kids aged 3-5 together, there will be rough-housing. The unwritten rule seemed to be that any parent could pull any kid off any other kid if it got out of hand. But non-JW parents allow more leeway with their children. They're not expected to be perfect little publishers all the time.
Most of all, relax and enjoy yourself!
Isn't it sad that we have to ask these kinds of questions?
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60
A Personal Announcement!
by Billygoat inguess who just got engaged???
no date has been set yet, but the engagement will be short.
probably sometime this summer.
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Hmmm
Andi, I've been wanting to ask you this for a long time... will you marry me?
What...? Oh.... This is rather embarrassing.
Missed it by THAT much.
Hmmm
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27
I am Supermom!
by flower ini had a revelation today...and i thought i'd share.
it hit me all of the sudden this morning as i was leaving my house around 615a.
you see, i'm walking out to my truck to get to a 7am doctors appt.
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Hmmm
Flower,
I think if it had been me, I would have been leaving my house at 6:35 because I woke up late. I'd be walking out to my car with the kid hanging out of my mouth, and my keys draped over my shoulder. In one hand would be a slice of last night's pizza and a random bag. I can pretty much guarantee that I would have forgotten either the project or costume, maybe both.... and the day would only go downhill from there.
Kudos to all you SUPERMOMS out there.
Hmmm
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13
Interview with the JW Geek
by Hmmm inwhen i was a senior in high school, the principal called me in to her office to ask why i'd missed repeated deadlines to turn in my applications for colleges.
i went to a school for brainiacs, and was above average there--yes, i was a geek among geeks.
the principal asked me if it were a question of finances.
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Hmmm
Well I'd be more inclined to listen to future-Xander if he tells me the winning lottery numbers for a few weeks running.
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Interview with the JW Geek
by Hmmm inwhen i was a senior in high school, the principal called me in to her office to ask why i'd missed repeated deadlines to turn in my applications for colleges.
i went to a school for brainiacs, and was above average there--yes, i was a geek among geeks.
the principal asked me if it were a question of finances.
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Hmmm
Xander,
Yup, if I had to go to school with my younger self, I'd punch me right in the face a few times.
It's a well-known law of the universe and bad sci-fi movies that you cannot touch yourself when time-travelling. You'd both be obliterated! I'll make a deal with you, I'll go beat some sense into your past self if you'll go beat some sense into mine.
Hmmm
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13
Interview with the JW Geek
by Hmmm inwhen i was a senior in high school, the principal called me in to her office to ask why i'd missed repeated deadlines to turn in my applications for colleges.
i went to a school for brainiacs, and was above average there--yes, i was a geek among geeks.
the principal asked me if it were a question of finances.
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Hmmm
When I was a Senior in High School, the Principal called me in to her office to ask why I'd missed repeated deadlines to turn in my applications for colleges. I went to a school for brainiacs, and was above average there--yes, I was a geek among geeks.
The Principal asked me if it were a question of finances. She said that she'd been looking over my grades and standardized test scores, and that she was sure I could get a full scholarship to a good University. I almost asked which schools she had in mind. I would have really liked to go to one of the major state universities where I lived, and if she had held out the possibility of a scholarship there, I might not have held strong to my convictions.
Alas, I told her that I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and wouldn't be going to college. She kept trying, telling me to go ahead and apply to three Universities of my choosing, and that I could always turn it down if accepted.
I successfully passed the test that Satan had placed before me.
About a year later I was working for a brother, painting houses. I was making about $10/hr. My aunt told me about a company in the area that made inserts for newspapers and such, that was hiring line workers. They were recognized nationally as one of the best companies to work for, and had positions open in the $12-18/hr range.
Visions of sugar plums danced in my head (though as a JW geek, I would never use such an analogy). This was the dream job for a young college-skippee. I figured it wouldn't be long before I worked my way up to a whopping $15/hr. I probably wouldn't get a job in the higher pay scale because it would would undoubtedly require longer working hours, but $15/hr was in the salary stratosphere as far as I and my young Pioneer friends were concerned.
I wore my best give-a-talk-at-the-assembly suit for the interview.
The gentleman conducting the interview asked me the standard questions--what I thought I had to offer to the company, yaddayaddayadda. Then he asked me what was the proudest accomplishment of my life.
This is what immediately popped into my head: I was about 15 yrs old, and my twin brother and I were horsing around. I pinned him down to the ground and was sitting on top of him. Then I started letting long strings of saliva out of my mouth, sucking them back in just before they touched him. I had been eating hard candy (Jolly Ranchers or something) so my spit was extra viscous. As the strings of spit crept successively closer to my brother's face, he started laughing uncontrollably. The final string of spit that I let out actually went inside his opened mouth. It didn't touch anything, but had he closed his mouth, he would have been forever contaminated with watermelon-flavored cooties. Using my undeveloped skills in The Force, I was able to sense the point where the slobber spear would break under the stress of recapture, and successfully retrieved it.
Obviously I couldn't tell the well-groomed professional on the other side of the desk that the proudest moment in my young life was an otherworldly control over my own spit. Instead, this is what I said:
"When I was baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses."
I wish I could now claim that I knew it was all hogwash, that I went to the meetings and listened with a cynical ear, anxious for the time when I could get home and do the things that I really liked. But the sad truth is that I enjoyed the meetings, and looked forward to them. I actually thought that the answer I gave the interviewer would make my God's heart rejoice, and that I was virtually guaranteed a position.
After explaining that the positions they had open were for varying shifts, the interviewer concluded by asking if I had anything to add. I said "I'll need every Tuesday and Thursday evening off, as well as all day Sunday, so I can attend the meetings."
Thinking back on it, I'm surprised I didn't offer the guy a free home bible study.
Obviously I didn't get the job. But fear not, I bore up under Satan's persecution.
Hmmm