This is a mini-saga and it is mostly boring. Why am I writing this? Because I can, that’s why. I just turned 54 years old yesterday and said to myself, “Self, you are now 54 and you can write any damn thing you want, any damn time you want because you are now 54 years old. Fifty-four years old is a serious age, you know. I thought I would never age past 25. But I did. After all, I was in a cult. And they lied to me. They lie for a living. They turn 54 too, and they lie to themselves about dying. Then they die. They die lying. Pity that.
Some five or six years ago I made my first post on the old H20. I registered under my own name and was quite hesitant about it. Before that, I had written some stuff and found a Farkel-friendly website who put up my stuff for me. It is all still there. I then wrote my “Handy JW Apostates Glossary.” I sent it to Kent. I didn’t know Kent. He almost immediately posted it to H20 without discussing it or asking me about it. Kent does stuff like that. It made some people laugh, though. I know it certainly pissed off dubs. I know that because I said it like it is and dubs don’t like people saying it like it really is.
After some time on H20, I started pissing off a certain moderator, namely Moderator 14. He went on a bunch of testosterone frenzies and deleted posts wholesale. What he lacked for a weenie he more than made up for with post deletions. He was really pissed off at me and everything I said. Maybe it was because I called him a “Storm-Trooper-Nazi-Asshole-From-Hell-With-Shit-For-Brains.” He was so sensitive about stuff. He especially had a boner for me and he even deleted my sane and user-friendly stuff, so I changed my user name from “Doug” to “Farkel” and kept posting my usual stuff. Most of it stayed on the H20 board before he got wise to my ruse. Moderator 14 was not very bright. Then for a time I changed my name to “Keflar” but Moderator 14 never understood the concept of “anagrams!” Then I went back to “Farkel” and I’ve been “Farkel” almost ever since. I went back to my real name on H20 for a short while, but my friend COMF suggested I return to Farkel. So I did. I trust COMF and his good judgment. I also trust COMF to never steal beer from me.
After many good years, things got weird on H20. Deletions were the norm. Rick was on the rag. Kent was banned for being just the way he is. Many of us bolted and Uncle Bruce suggested to me that I try out Simon’s board. I did. Pretty soon, H20 was a desert.
The welcome here was not exactly a red-carpet one. Myself and others were gladiators and researchers and brought that way-of-thinking here. It’s sort of like Nazi Storm-Troopers descending on a neighborhood coffee shop expecting a warm welcome. We faced a lot of resentment and maybe it’s still there. I do know this: with our arrival, Simon’s board shot up in popularity and has become THE place to find the latest and best dub information. One only has to look at the board stats here before and after the mass-Exodus from H20 to verify this. Those stats alone give much credibility to what Rick had going on his board and lost.
Some people still want a cozy “Coffee House” atmosphere here. It’s too late for that to be the norm anymore, though. However, this board is big enough and popular enough for like-minded people to find those kinds of threads and contribute to them.
I got poor. Really poor. I posted about it. I lived in an office building for six months and stood in line on Saturdays to get free bread from a gay and lesbian Christian church. It was a horrible time for me, unlike any I’ve ever seen. I was forced to do the dirtiest and hardest manual labor I’ve ever done. I lived on bread and peanut butter for months. I lost over twenty pounds and three inches off of my waist. None of my clothes fit. I was suicidal and said so. I used to sit on the couch in that office for hours and plan my demise. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of what my suicide would do to my children for the rest of their lives. It was an all-time low for me. I finally got the courage to seek help for that depression, and I’m fine now.
AlanF and Gedanken (two of my good friends) helped me out, and I am most grateful for that. Then, wasasister’s sister who is known as “wasasister’sSister” also helped me out in a most-generous way. Wasasister also sent me this most delicious home-made fudge. One cannot help but understand how delicious home-made fudge can be when one has lived on bread for months. Then Gedanken put out a cry-for-help for me and a whole BUNCH of people helped me out. The guy from Eastern Washington (you know who you are) and the computer guy from Chicago (you know who you are) were most generous. A LOT of people helped me out. I received help from all over the WORLD, including the Phillipines, Great Britain and Australia. I cried many tears over the generosity from people whom I’ve never met or even talked with on the phone and my faith in the goodness of humanity was restored. No dubs stepped forward, though, but that does not surprise me. I know dubs: too many of them are cold-blooded, materialistic drones with hearts turned into stone by their religious masters in Brooklyn. They care about no one but themselves and saving their sorry, cult-asses from their cold-blooded murderous God.
I wrote about dub-stuff during most of this whole period. It was my only validation and a way of purging my soul. Perhaps that was a good thing for me. Perhaps not. Anyway, I did it. Whenever I wrote and researched about dub stuff, my sorry life didn’t seem so sorry after all.
I’ve been self-employed since 1969 (except for a 15 month period when I worked for my uncle in 1997-1998) and so finding a “job” was tough. I had few interviews and I aced the few that I had. I still didn’t get hired. In my field of computer programming I think I was just too unexpectedly “old” for the HR people. They may have somehow thought that the world of computer programming on desktop computers belongs to the twenty-somethings. Yet, I’ve been programming on desk-tops for over twenty years. Hell, I was writing computer programs for a living when “floppy disks” were 8” square and the operating system was CP/M! During that period, today’s “twenty-somethings” were wearing diapers and pooping their pants. I’m truly “old.”
Two months ago I moved from San Diego to Vancouver, Washington to stay with a friend of mine. I paid for my keep by writing a computer program worth about $15,000 for that same friend. My friend in that area, seven006 also contributed graphics worth at least $8,000 to that friend. For free. Dave is one cool guy, even if he does drool most of the time and doesn’t change his underwear and socks often enough.
During my brief stay in Washington, an angel descended out of the sky and said, “Farkel: what can I do for you? You helped me get out of the dubs and I’m most grateful.” Since this angel was female I said, “I suppose a blow-job is out of the question.” She said, “Yes, a blow-job IS out of the question.” I said, “Well, you know, I HAD TO ASK! It’s a GUY thing.” She replied, “Yes, I know. Guys are weird.”
Until my divorce I had a Concert Grand Steinway piano. It was nine feet long, weighed almost a thousand pounds and was a glorious instrument. I had to sell it in the divorce. I went almost ten years without playing the piano and the piano is the great love of my life. (Next to blow-jobs!) Then I bought this keyboard that was to die for. I was once again in music heaven. It had the same action as the Steinway and had sampled-sounds from several dozen world-class pianos.
Unfortunately, it was stolen about five years ago and I was again without my instrument. For three years during that time I had a little, crappy upright piano to play, but it would never stay in tune. So I said to this angel, “If it is not too much to ask, could you get me another one of those keyboards? And a blow-job, too?” (Guys can be really persistent about that stuff.)
She said, “I’ll get you the keyboard.” (I knew when to shut up about blow-jobs.)
We found one on e-bay and lo and behold within a week of that awesome day, I had my keyboard delivered to my door, bought and paid for by this angel whom I have yet to meet!
Who says there are not miracles in our lives? I’m in heaven and playing Chopin better than I’ve ever played it before! When I can get some sequencing software, I will convert my music from MIDI to MP3 format and put it up on my website. Damn, I’m good on the piano! And if you don’t believe me, just ask me!
Since December of last year I’ve been working on a project with another friend of mine and it is now just starting to take off. I moved to Sacramento, California a little over a week ago to finish up my work on this project with him. Things are really looking good for me and him. By the end of this or next month, I should have enough money to move wherever I want. Life is good. Friends are great. I feel blessed.
I have corresponded or talked with many people over the years and each time I do, I feel like I’ve made a new friend. Imagine that. Now that I’m in Sacramento, I plan on spending some quality time with Aguest, Shelby Johnson. I’ve spent time with her before and I’ve enjoyed that time with her, even if spooks pretending to be God talk to her. People are just so much better out of this two-dimensional world of discussion boards. These are just a few of the people I’ve spoken with or met:
AlanF
Gedanken
COMF
Uncle Bruce
Jst2laws & Joy2BFree
Marvin Shilmer
Island Woman
Seven006
JT
Larc
Amazing
Freepeace & T41
5thGenJW
Skallywagger (can we make our peace? Life is just too short to do otherwise.)
Wasasister
Wasasister’sSister
Kent S.
Norm H.
Kismet
Celia
Ken P. (Undecided)
Aguest
Randy Watters
Duane Magnani
Maximus
Barbara G. Harrison (God rest her soul)
Gravedancer
Talleyman
Skeptic
CPiolo
RationalWitness
Ginny Tosken
KHV (“Milky”)
I’m sure I’ve missed a few. To my friend “Friend:” I dearly miss you and our lively debates. I’ve intentionally left off several names: the “angel” who provided me with the killer keyboard and several folks who are involved with the WTS over serious issues are some of them. The reasons for that should be obvious.
Those of you who haven’t reached out to the ex-JW folks should really make an effort to do so. These are the finest people I’ve ever known. Better yet, they will only offer you Watchtower magazines if you need a hearty laugh or if you are doing some research on the subject of “insanity.”
Life is indeed good and I have the utmost confidence and trust in humans like those I’ve mentioned. Their imaginary God doesn’t threaten to kill you and your children, either.
That’s all I want to say about that.
Farkel