Hmmm

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Posts by Hmmm

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  20

  Am I being paranoid?

  by Billygoat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've posted several times about my unethical partner at work.

  i'd like to share a story and get your viewpoint.. first of all, i have a screensaver on my laptop.

  it is secured with a password.

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  Hmmm

  Sounds like maybe your IT guys are being lazy. They should be able to set up auditing on their end. Any time a network resource (like your personal folder) is accessed, they can track it. It's too late for this instance, but they could set it up for the future. You may have to start documenting when you're out of the office, so you can prove that it wasn't you who got into the super-duper top secret files and changed them.

  In fact, your IT guys should be able to check today's logs on your email server (assuming you have one). If you closed Outlook before leaving, they'll be able to see when it was opened again.

  If it's a laptop, you should take it with you when you leave. If you share it with your partner, make sure you always log completely out of the computer when you leave, and don't save any important files on the computer; save them to the network in a folder that your partner has no access to.

  Hmmm
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  15

  Lookin' for a little advice tonight...

  by wasasister in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i heard from an old friend today - she is a young woman i knew from my last congregation.

  i was asked to attend her bible study because we shared a profession and it was thought we would have something in common.

  in fact, she was a very shy young woman shy and attractive, but not in the traditional, flashy way of many witness girls.

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  Hmmm

  Wasa,

  Tough situation, but lots of good responses.

  I don't think you could get in too much trouble pointing her to Silentlambs. He's still technically in good standing. But we know that won't last long, so I'd point her there soon. Tell her about the section called Battered Lambs. If she reads the rest, it's not your fault.

  Maybe you could email or print some of the experiences on this site, and give them to her. If she asks where they came from, say you saved them a long time ago and don't remember where you got them. Or be honest and say you'd rather not say, but you think it will help her to see that others are in a similar boat as she.

  All I can say is take it slooooooowwwwwwwww. If you spill too many beans too quickly, you may have to just lie lie lie to your elders. Deny all charges of apostacy and say that, in her confused state, she mistook some things you said. It sounds cold-hearted, but I guess it gives you a back door.

  Good luck,

  Hmmm
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  17

  England must cheer for Germany -Yanks please read!

  by nicolaou in

  1. social
  2. humour

  wish i could claim this but i can't.

  credit to des kelly of 'the mirror'

  there are times when you just have to switch sides.

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  Hmmm

  Nic,

  The writer (and you) seem to have missed the heavy doses of sarcasm in those comments in Time.

  Hmmm
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  243

  Movie quotes - Guess and give

  by SpiceItUp in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  ok...simon with his guess the song lyrics inspired me to do one for movies..... you can post your fave movie quote and see if anyone can guess it.

  no home movies or indie please (unless its really well-known).

  plus if you want you can put what genre it is...... i have one to start us out:.

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  Hmmm

  Englishman, dull razor blade is The Parent Trap

  Farkel, 50 eggs is Cool Hand Luke.

  "Why are you being so obtuse?" My High School Biology teacher when I used the Creation book to debate evolution with her

  Hmmm
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  70

  Are you socially retarded? - For the newbies

  by Billygoat in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  don't let this title startle you.

  i'm not starting a flame war.

  this is something that i've thought a lot about since i have two dogs.

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  Hmmm

  Why are the men (most) so afraid to open up?

  Just an observation....seems to be this way whether you are a ex-JW or worldly man. Why can't you share your feelings?

  Can you tell by the lack of response to your question that you were on the right track? :)

  I think Billygoat (who is just such a sweetie. I'm still waiting for her to accept my proposal) made some great points about how growing up in a certain environment affects you throughout your life. Growing up in a JW household can retard your social development. Growing up in an abusive environment can cause you to be paranoid and timid (or overly aggressive).

  Well, growing up a male in Western society impacts us. Even after the "get in touch with your feminine side" 80s, males are still bombarded with pressure to stifle 'girlie' feelings.

  One of the newsmagazine shows did a story on this recently. They observed a group of 5-year-olds playing. The boys gravitated toward competitive/violent toys and games, while the girls played cooperative/peaceful toys and games. When one boy picked up a Barbie doll, he was immediately told "that's for girls" by one of the other little boys, who undoubtedly had been told that by an older male in his life.

  If we leave the JW or abusive environment, we have a chance of seeing that our environment was not normal. We can re-learn how to interact with people in more socially and emotionally mature ways.

  But where do men re-learn how to express their feelings? How do they leave that environment and realize that it's not normal, when it is normal in Western society? The male stiff upper lip is so normal that men pay money to go out in the woods to cry and hug other men.

  On the other hand, I don't think it's that big a deal, if it's not taken to the vulcan extreme. Then again, I'm a guy.

  Hmmm

  (Satisfying my quota with one non-fluff post per week)
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  30

  You Apostates Are Right!

  by comforter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear ex-jw.com.

  many of you have asked me why i am in this place.

  you think i am being disobedient to the faithful and discreet slave or being hypocritical when i frequent this site.

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  Hmmm

  Alas, poor Duns, we hardly knew ye.
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  67

  NEW JW POLICY POSTED!!!

  by amac in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i don't know if anyone has posted on this already but there is a new press release at http://www.jw-media.org/releases/default.htm?content=bg_molestation.htm that defines the current jw policy and i believe it has taken a step in the right direction!.

  although they have not literally changed it to require reporting to the authorities in all states, they have finally put into print the following: "additionally, the victim may wish to report the matter to the authorities, and it is his or her absolute right to do so.".

  i am glad to see, straight from the wt, acknowledgement that the adults involved have every right to go to the police.

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  Hmmm

  Most of the commentary that led up to the Dateline episode airing though went beyond just "personal recovery and fellowship". It pushed for change even though it seems no change will ever be accepted and trusted by this community. I don't believe these reactions or motives exhibited by us are "sinister" and I don't think they are unusual given what most of us have been through. But I do think the never-have-been-JW public will judge this reaction to their now publicly stated policy as being harsh and unfair and since this subject is in the media where the public are the judge, I think we have to take that into consideration.

  Path,

  I agree. I think the general public might look at the average reaction on this board and say "these people will never be satisfied." However, I think it was so new, and so BIG that the more extreme minority became much more vocal, seeing this as a possible clarion call. Even those of us who like to think of ourselves as more middle-of-the-road may have seen a chance to cause some small change and/or damage to the WT, and come across as more extreme.

  I don't really worry too much about that, though. If the hullabaloo raised over the UN and pedophilia issues causes non-JWs to pause before getting dunked, that will give them the time to judge for themselves where the truth lies.

  Thanks, again, for your reasonable response. I think your statements were a tad extreme at times, but you are at least extremely politely extreme.

  The question I ask myself is at what point would I accept that the society really is applying their stated policy--as inadequate as it may be? I think it's just something they'd have to prove over time... but I ain't holding my breath.

  Hmmm

  Edited by - hmmm on 17 June 2002 20:38:3
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  28

  YES!!!!!! Shunning has backfired!!

  by Dawn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was df'd a number of years ago.

  my parents never shunned me - they didn't feel that df'ing broke the family ties.

  but when my brothers or uncle were in town i was "allowed" to come visit at certain times when their other jw friends would not be around.

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  Hmmm

  Dawn,

  Not much to add except "good for you, and good for your son!"
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  12

  have I missed anything momentous?

  by meat pie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have had a virus (trojan horse) and all sorts of things have gone wrong, only just about back on line, been off about a week.

  have i missed anything truly gripping/amusing(non-footy related)?

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  Hmmm

  How could you guys forget the REALLY big news?

  AlanF and Farkel have announced that they had Road To Damascus experiences, and they're going back to the hall. They're going to be Pioneer partners.

  Hmmm
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  47

  Were you ashamed of being a witness?

  by sleepy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  were you ashamed of being a witness?.

  how did you feel about identifing yourself as a jehovahs witness to others?.

  i often used to hide it because of the stigma attacthed to it.. was anyone actually proud to be one?

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  Hmmm

  Not only was I embarrassed to be a Witness, I am STILL embarrassed about it!

  I was born into it, and I've been out for a while now, but I still don't want any of my coworkers to know that I USED to be a Witness.