WELCOME- You are at the right place! Many of us here have been where you are at and have found peace in our life. I was just as you are a little over a year ago-unsure, guilt ridden due to my inactivity, busy with everday life. I stumbled across this site and my whole life was changed. I NEVER doubted any thing I had been taught as a JW. When I discovered the "truth" was not the truth, I was devastated. It felt as if a loved one had died. I cried for days, then eventually, I got really mad that I had been decieved. Also, that I had a lot of loved ones who were still be lied to-my mom, in-laws, long time friends.
I read as much information as I could on this site and another site called JW Facts. They were so helpful. I also read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. I learned more than I could ever imagine. You are wise to question everything you have ever learned. Don't feel bad, for having doubts, their own teaching encourage non-JW's to research anything that potential believers to question whatever they are being taught. One who has nothing to hide, hides nothing. If it is really the truth, why would they discourage their members to not look into researching their religion?
I understand you not wanting to hurt your family but you must do what is best for you and your babies. It has been wonderful to not have the guilt of never doing enough spiritually, to spend more time with my family doing normal stuff, to celebrate holidays (they are so fun).
I wish you well on your journey to discover the truth about this religion. You will feel so much relief in the long run!!