ofcourse not. i learned from an early age that if you wanted to stay within the congregation you could not under any circumstances rust the elders with your actions and feelings. i have seen many people disfellowshipped or seriously hurt in my hall by their counsel since i was very young. and personally i do not trust anyone withwhom i do not have a close personal relationship i.e good friendship with. trust comes after understanding one another on a deeper level..,
chellechelle
JoinedPosts by chellechelle
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43
As a JW Did you Feel you Could Fully Trust the Elders ?
by flipper ini know for many of the 44 years i was in the jw cult from birth - i felt i could.
or should i say i was conditioned to feel that " i should " trust the elders.
as jehovah's witnesses we were all told the elders were " crags in a waterless country " who would be a " spiritual stronghold " for us.
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51
therapist says affairs can help some/my marriage....really...
by oompa inwell that took me back a bit...but since i have led a double life since third grade...i have become the master of compartmentalizing...and since my exit and since it is now not just to my parents (as a youth)...but now having to do it to my hardcore jw wife....well...it just gets frikkin easier and easier...i now think i am becoming capable of stuff i would have never dreamed of...this is scary.... i have decided i can afford it financially though i dread this at 47, since this is the second time i would lose half my assets....crap...and my wife is a wonderful lady!...hot even!...but i so want to grow and be totally free...damm the costs are so high...why cant i be content with a non-nagging jw wife?????.
oh...and basically it seems that if certain needs (not just sex!
) need to be met...and your mate will never know...than it can help your marriage continue with no bad side effects???
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chellechelle
im sorry if i attacked i did not mean to do so. that kinda thing jsut bugs me.. i feel for your wife, as i feel for you everyone has the right to be happy in their relationships. i jsut think that the proper way to deal with a problem is directly. i think you would make yourself feel worse if you cheated then if you jsut asked for a divorce or s seperation.. and trust me i know cheating hurts more.
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145
How Old are You ?
by flipper ini know- you aren't used to seeing me ask a simple question like this.
so- i'll start .
i am 49 years old, will be 50 in october .
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chellechelle
jsut turned 18... :)
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51
therapist says affairs can help some/my marriage....really...
by oompa inwell that took me back a bit...but since i have led a double life since third grade...i have become the master of compartmentalizing...and since my exit and since it is now not just to my parents (as a youth)...but now having to do it to my hardcore jw wife....well...it just gets frikkin easier and easier...i now think i am becoming capable of stuff i would have never dreamed of...this is scary.... i have decided i can afford it financially though i dread this at 47, since this is the second time i would lose half my assets....crap...and my wife is a wonderful lady!...hot even!...but i so want to grow and be totally free...damm the costs are so high...why cant i be content with a non-nagging jw wife?????.
oh...and basically it seems that if certain needs (not just sex!
) need to be met...and your mate will never know...than it can help your marriage continue with no bad side effects???
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chellechelle
i know you are thinking what is the harm if she never knew. some of these thigns can jsut be sensed. and even so the longer it goes on and if she happens to find outm, man you could really ruin that womens life for some time emotionaly... i really think its ajust a cruel thing to do. you say why cant i jsut be happy with her. because your not happy doesnt give u the right to do this to her to sleep with another person. jsut man up and tell her you want a seperation if you are not happy anymore. stop hiding from the main problem jsut becuae the psych thinks its ok
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58
Thought for the day
by John Doe ini've been questioning my course in life the last few weeks.
am i building the right life?
i feel as clueless now as i did 10 years ago.
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chellechelle
ahda or add by any chance???
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14
this faded person was a "threat from the grave!"....CO says....
by oompa ini am sick today so spent a lot of time on jwd and saw several posts about whether or not elders would take action against a fader or not....it brought to mind an interesting and powerfully told story a co told us that alway stuck in my head...faders should find it very interesting and i hope this does not catch on...............oompa.
"a sister/mom had a daughter that was very loved in the congregation....for some reason she left the truth for a couple of years and even lived with her worldly boyfriend, but she was not disfellowshipped and her family did not shun her in any way....the elders did not complain as she was deemed to be "no threat to the congregation," and many in the congregation did not shun her either since she was perceived as "no threat to the congregation"....even the elders liked her and talked to her everytime she came to the memorial....very friendly with her.....life was good and this went on for years....it was as if she was was still part of the congregation....not a threat at all.
this sounds like a happy, wonderful arrangement doesn't it friends?
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chellechelle
maybe there is something right about the saying " won without a word" lol :)
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12
TV Pilot...Lie to Me...includes episode about a JW.
by SnakesInTheTower injust seen this as i was scanning the channels... dont know much more than what i googled and the blurb on the tv directory...going to watch it now.... snakes (.
this program is starting now (wed 1/21 8pm cst/9pm est) on fox network tv (us)... tonights pilot episode includes a story about a team of experts in lie detection are hired to investigate "a young jehovah's witness killing his teacher".
lie to me (working title) .
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chellechelle
yes they did not acurately do their research but i think it is a good thing that they jws were portrayed as they were on the show. it showed them as extremist fundamentalist christians who were so concerned about there religions aperance that at first they would not even show the investegators info that could clear him. his mother later showed them the photos he had taken of his teacher and one of the photos helped to prove what had really happened. they also showed them as very extreme as to what their children are alowed to do and the control they have on our lives. the father says that he would never be involved in any sexual ativity. he says " he knows the dangers of fornication. we sat down and read collosians together" he also talks about not being allowed after school activities and that at first he was not allowed to do photography but they decided to give him his own dark room so he wouldnt have to go out. i think even though it was not completely accurate they did a good job at making people think that the jw cult is not something they would want to be in. so regardless of the message. it still accomplishes the same purpose. making people think twice about how weird and bas this cult can be....
STAY AWAY!!!
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34
As a JW were You Told to Not Report or Be Silent about Child Abuse ?
by flipper inas most of you know in 2002 barbara anderson and bill bowen were on the dateline program which revealed that child abuse victims had been theatened with disfellowshipping from the jehovah's witnesses for reporting child abuse to the police and authorities .
and this actually happened to many victims and their families for standing up in behalf of the safety of abused children !.
most here are aware of the out of court child abuse settlements the wt society made with 16 witness child abuse victims in 2007. a gag order was placed on victims so they would not speak of their experiences with the media.
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chellechelle
mostly dead- yes it was the same for me deemed fornication because i could have avoided putting myself int he situation. the first thing they said was well i shouldnt have ahd a boyfriend in the first place. and yes i couldnt go in service and i couldnt to talks or anything for three months. however atleast they saved me some pain and suffering by not actually announcing it to the cong.
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chellechelle
what do u mean?
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34
As a JW were You Told to Not Report or Be Silent about Child Abuse ?
by flipper inas most of you know in 2002 barbara anderson and bill bowen were on the dateline program which revealed that child abuse victims had been theatened with disfellowshipping from the jehovah's witnesses for reporting child abuse to the police and authorities .
and this actually happened to many victims and their families for standing up in behalf of the safety of abused children !.
most here are aware of the out of court child abuse settlements the wt society made with 16 witness child abuse victims in 2007. a gag order was placed on victims so they would not speak of their experiences with the media.
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chellechelle
flipper sugested i post this....
at the age of fifteen i was raped by my frist ever boyfriend and when i wet to the elders about this not only did they do nothing about it or to try and help me they told me that i should not press charges. because one it would not help me heal and twoit would be going through worldy courts and justice systems that are flawed and will not help me. gods court of law is more just. then they said i should not seek professional help to et over my feelings of violation, my ptsd, and my intense depression. they said i should put it on jehovah. as they shrink would only give me worldy opinions such as jsut get right back on the horse with dating... then this is the stupidest part. i was reproved from my actions in the matter.
this does not sound like a loving organization to me. thanks to this i have not been able to enjoy my relationship with my boyfriend as much as i could. sex is hard for me when i dont start it and if there is one ounce of pain even if mistaken i get flasbacks and immediately have to stop. it also has made me very compliant and not able to speak out when i feel hurt or controlled or anything such as that. it made me unable to function properly as a person and be able to give to someone else what i want to give. and unable to ask for what i need in return. if it was dealt with then who knows what could have become of me.