BonaFide

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Posts by BonaFide

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  59

  My wounds opened up badly today

  by Maddie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the past three weeks having been so stressful and very sad.

  my ex husband died after being in hospital for just over a week in intensive care.. i was just 18 and he was 21 when we first met and after a whirlwind romance we married 6 months later and have two sons together who are now adults.

  although our marriage ended after 25 years and i remarried 7 years ago, he was my first love and i knew him for most of my life.

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  BonaFide

  I am so sorry for how you are being treated. Some of my family is doing that to me. That's why I want to do something to make the WT fall apart.

  BF
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  33

  For those that were raised in the Truth, why did YOUR PARENTS become JW's?

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's weird putting two and two together after 40 years of have the two things separate.. my uncle was killed in a car accident in august of 1969. i was a child, but i remember my mother being very sad and crying and staying in her room.. it was in october of 1969 that the witnesses first visited my mom.

  my mom was in the front yard watching us kids when jw's came door-to-door.

  that sister and my mom are still friends to this day.. anyway, my mom started studying.

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  BonaFide

  It's weird putting two and two together after 40 years of have the two things separate.

  My uncle was killed in a car accident in August of 1969. I was a child, but I remember my mother being very sad and crying and staying in her room.

  It was in October of 1969 that the Witnesses first visited my mom. My mom was in the front yard watching us kids when JW's came door-to-door. That sister and my mom are still friends to this day.

  Anyway, my mom started studying. I remember a lady coming to our house, and we had to be quiet. She was baptized in 1970. I was six years old. I became a publisher at 7, and kept going after that.

  I was reading on this forum a few months ago when someone mentioned that often people become Witnesses because of a tragedy in their life, and they are vulnerable. Witnesses show "love" and attention, and the promise of a resurrection. I often applied that to the people in the territory, that we should look out for those grieving, or depressed, and teach them the truth.

  I never realized until recently that that is exactly what happened to my mom.

  Witnesses came to our door at a very vulnerable time in my Mom's life. Otherwise, she may never have accepted it. It occured to me that my uncle's death in a car accident was a tragedy, a terrible accident that had he left the house a few moments later, would never have happened. His car skidded in the rain, and hit an oncoming truck on a rural road. Time and unforseen occurence.

  But didn't something similar happen to us? Because my mom talked to the Witnesses in her yard that day, I never went to college, I have no degree, I am in my forties with no wife and kids, no house, and trying to go back to school now to make a better living. I shouldn't compare my life with a terrible traffic accident, but seems to me a turn of events within a few MINUTES changed my entire life.

  So what about YOUR parents, those of you raised in the "Truth?"

  How did THEY become Witnesses? Was it also that they happened to be home one day? How did the Witnesses find them and convince them?

  BF
• 
  4

  What happens when you write a letter to Bethel

  by BonaFide in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  when you write a letter to bethel, you will receive an acknowledgement letter.

  it usually starts by stating the date of your letter, and they restate the general question or matter you wrote about.

  then they will give a non-committal answer, and encourage you to study and preach.

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  BonaFide

  When you write a letter to Bethel, you will receive an acknowledgement letter. It usually starts by stating the date of your letter, and they restate the general question or matter you wrote about. Then they will give a non-committal answer, and encourage you to study and preach. For example:

  Dear brother/sister Blank:

  We have received your letter of May 20, 2009 in which you inquire about whether or not a child molester can have a position in the congregation....

  However, often they INCLUDE A COPY of the letter to your body of elders, and to the circuit overseer. Depending on what is in your letter, the elders may want to speak with you.

  The letter is signed Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses, but does not have the name of the person at Bethel who wrote it, ostensibly to give the impression the Holy Spirit, and not a person, directed the writing of the letter, and to avoid focusing on the letter writer. However, THEY KNOW who wrote your response, it is at the top of the letter. It used to be a two-letter code, I am not sure if they still use that. The Service Committee of the Governing Body used to use GSC at the top of their letters, and then a slash, and then a two-letter code to identify TO THEM the writer, for example: GSC/AR. The Executive Offices used to use AE, and then the two-letter code. The Service Department used SSA.

  So you might be able to figure out what department wrote your response, but that's about it.

  Now, suppose you want something done, and you write a letter about it. Often, nothing will be done except to encourage you to keep faithful. However, if your letter includes a serious accusation against a specific person in the congregation, and you include your name, Bethel will send a copy to the C.O., and to the body of elders. The elders will then be contacted by the C.O, EVEN IF IT IS NOT THE TIME OF THE C.O. VISIT, and he will tell them to get on it right away. That is because the C.O. has to write a response to Bethel as to what was done about that situation. I have had to write numerous letters to the Branch to show that I had contacted the elders, and they had handled the situation, and it was resolved.

  I know of a case where a sister was being harrassed by someone in the congregation. According to her, he was over-friendly and made crude, sexual remarks. The sister went to the elders, and they didn't do anything. She then wrote to Bethel, hinted at legal action against this brother, hinted at secret sins the brother may be committing, and that the elders view HER as the problem and won't help her.

  The elders were contacted by the C.O., they met with that sister and told her not to worry, she was not the problem, and they cared about her all along. Also they said she shouldn't have threatened legal action, she should have waited on Jehovah. The person that was harrassing her was deleted of his position, he changed congregations, and stayed away from her.

  I am not recommending you do that, but there are special circumstances that if you handle it wisely, you can sometimes get the elders to get a certain person to leave you alone.

  So have you written to Bethel? What was your experience like?

  BF
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  22

  How ZEALOUS a JW were you?

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  or maybe you are still a zealous jw.

  i became a regular pioneer while i was still in high school.

  i used to set my alarm for 5 am three times a week and walk a few blocks to do streetwork.

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  BonaFide

  Cameo-D, yes, maybe you are right. I just write what I am thinking, so I have no idea sometimes what attitude I am conveying. That's why I like this forum.

  I guess I want to think I accomplished SOMETHING down there.

  BF
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  22

  How ZEALOUS a JW were you?

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  or maybe you are still a zealous jw.

  i became a regular pioneer while i was still in high school.

  i used to set my alarm for 5 am three times a week and walk a few blocks to do streetwork.

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  BonaFide

  Or maybe you are still a zealous JW.

  I became a regular pioneer while I was still in High School. I used to set my alarm for 5 am three times a week and walk a few blocks to do streetwork. Hardly anyone on the street, but I felt good about it. I was interviewed on the District Convention about that. A brother Jerry Opris, C.O., from North Carolina interviewed me.

  Then I went and served in the Midwest for a couple of years.

  Then when I was accepted to MTS and became a missionary, I really tried my best to be zealous. The hourly requirement for a missionary is 140 hours. Missionaries over 60 can put in 130 hours. I think that has changed recently, both lowered by 10. For the first few months I did the 140. I don';t think I missed it even once. After that I wanted to get into the circuit work. My C.O. told me to show the Branch how serious I was. So I started putting in 150 hours a month. Sometimes more.

  So finally I was in the Circuit work. The hour requirement for Circuit Overseers was not 90 hours a month. Regular pioneers had to put that time in, but we were told it was OK to put in less if we were shepherding or doing congregation stuff. Now the hours are 70, but I don't know what the hour requirement for C.O.'s is. But even still I put in over a 100 hours each month in service as a C.O. I was in the circuit work for over 7 years.

  I would even go in service sometimes on Tuesday mornings. The C.O. starts his visit on Tuesday night, and goes in service on Wednesday, but I wanted to really show I was zealous, so I would go out with the local congregation. And then I would also go in early morning streetwork sometimes. And evening witnessing.

  I also wanted to be zealous in studying. I read the Societies publications, I thought that was studying. I read the Bible 5 times total, yes the NWT. I tried to get through the Insight Books, but I didn't make it. I made a "research notebook" where I wrote study projects. I did the Creative Days, the Herods, the Caesars, District Convention Themes, Parallels between Moses and Christ, Governing Body members, Prophecies yet to be fulfilled, Fruitage of the Spirit. I still have that book.

  I did have time to relax, but I was sure Armageddon was coming before the year 2000, so I wanted to be as zealous as possible. My conscience would really bother me if I didn't work hard during the week.

  What a waste of time. I did think I was serving God, and I did make a lot of friends in my assignment, some I am still in touch with. But I put in thousands of hours of field service, and for what?

  So, what about you?

  How ZEALOUS were you?

  BF
• 
  59

  Do you want your publisher cards? Do you need a congregation "secretary" to request them? I can do it

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think someone else mentioned this before, but i am interested in providing some practical help to those on this board.

  many of you have helped me, and i see a lot of good will on here.. some here seem to need to move to another congregation to "fade.

  " or they might be in a judicial situation.. can i help?

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  BonaFide

  Actually, there is a poster on this forum that I met while I was a missionary. I was reading old posts when I came across it. He or she said something about meeting a single missionary C.O. who served the sign language congregations there. He said the single girls were probably after me, something like that. I will look for the post. I wonder if he or she is still active on here. That would be cool.

  BF
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  59

  Do you want your publisher cards? Do you need a congregation "secretary" to request them? I can do it

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think someone else mentioned this before, but i am interested in providing some practical help to those on this board.

  many of you have helped me, and i see a lot of good will on here.. some here seem to need to move to another congregation to "fade.

  " or they might be in a judicial situation.. can i help?

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  BonaFide

  John Doe, just because I tell someone to go screw himself doesn't make me dishonest.

  If you read the beginning of my post, I answered each one of their questions. And I PM'd them to see if they wanted documentation or photos or whatever. I just get tired of it.

  BF
• 
  59

  Do you want your publisher cards? Do you need a congregation "secretary" to request them? I can do it

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think someone else mentioned this before, but i am interested in providing some practical help to those on this board.

  many of you have helped me, and i see a lot of good will on here.. some here seem to need to move to another congregation to "fade.

  " or they might be in a judicial situation.. can i help?

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  BonaFide

  Minimus and others who doubt me:

  Yes, I was deleted as an elder, eventually. They deleted me after I changed congregations and before they sent my card over. Yes, my family told me to see a Psychiatrist. Maybe you can ask them why someday. I guess your families act consistently, mine doesn't. Yes, I have ADD. Makes life tough sometimes trying to focus.

  I could send you a scan of my passport with the stamps on it showing I was in South America for years, plus my assignment letter from the Society, my Tax I.D. card from the country in which I served. And I have several pioneer school photos where I was the instructor. You can compare those photos with my photo from the Yearbook. Is it that big of a deal to you guys?

  But why should I prove myself to you? Who are you? Are you the JWN police? The ELDER BODY of JWN? Why don't you say something to those who crush the new ones on here with unkind comments? Or the ones who use profanity?

  You guys can't believe what I wrote because you never lived it. Be honest: Have you ever actually met someone with my circumstances, a single JW brother raised in the truth, who went to serve as a missionary from MTS? Yes or no? AND who went to a developing, dangerous, dirty, country? You guys have no idea what it is like to spend your youth thousands of miles away for 10 years away from family and friends. The reason I am this way is because I WAS RAISED A WITNESS AND I STUCK TO IT AND BECAME A MISSIONARY. I experienced things that gave me some PTSD symptoms that I still deal with to this day. I am trying to come to terms with all of this, and become an actual human being. I care about people on here, and I received a lot of help in the past year from many of you. So I relate about my assignment, and my memory is good, I remember a lot of details. Maybe some of it will help someone, that is my hope. Plus it helps me, it's cathartic.

  But I don't need to prove myself anymore. I already spent my youth trying to do that.

  If you don't like it, go jump in a lake.

  In fact, go screw yourself.

  BF
• 
  59

  Do you want your publisher cards? Do you need a congregation "secretary" to request them? I can do it

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think someone else mentioned this before, but i am interested in providing some practical help to those on this board.

  many of you have helped me, and i see a lot of good will on here.. some here seem to need to move to another congregation to "fade.

  " or they might be in a judicial situation.. can i help?

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  BonaFide

  As far as the Publisher Card thing is concerned, I can see why some might not want to do that. I guess since I sincerely wanted to help, I didn't think that it could come across as trying to get people's personal information.

  When you are raised a Witness, you are raised with other Witnesses believing what you say. I think I should start another topic on that....

  BF
• 
  59

  Do you want your publisher cards? Do you need a congregation "secretary" to request them? I can do it

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think someone else mentioned this before, but i am interested in providing some practical help to those on this board.

  many of you have helped me, and i see a lot of good will on here.. some here seem to need to move to another congregation to "fade.

  " or they might be in a judicial situation.. can i help?

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  BonaFide

  AllTimeJeff, glad you read my posts.

  I said on there that when I was a C.O, I sometimes pushed the envelope when I thought a person was guilty. When a person denied a sin, and there was a witness to it, such as a member of the opposite sex who said that he fornicated with her, I would sort of pretend there was another witness to the sin to try and get him to confess. I would imply someone had seen him go into her house, or that he had told someone.

  Or sometimes I would dismiss the brother first, talk to the sister, and then when he came back into the room, I would dismiss the sister. I would then tell him that THE SISTER CONFESSED, SO WHY WOULD SHE LIE?

  So when I WAS ON THE HOTSEAT, I wondered, "Will the elders do that with me? Will they try to say there is a second witness to my "sin?." I wondered what the brothers on here who have experience would say. One thing I used to do is to use THREE ELDERS to meet with a brother or sister in some circumstances, THEN IF IT TURNED JUDICIAL, WHICH WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT, we had our committee. The Branch allowed that, even though in the Flock book it is two elders that form the investigative committee.

  Those of us that have actually served on committee's have seen some weird things. So when the tables were turned on me, and I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT BEING DISFELLOWSHIPPED, I wondered what procedures HAVE YOU SEEN in these circumstances? What is YOUR EXPERIENCE when there is only ONE WITNESS to a sin?

  If you guys don't believe me that's no skin off my back. Even when I was a C.O. and a missionary, some of the friends used to say to me, "You know Bonafide, I just can't believe you are a C.O., you are just too OUT THERE."

  Ride on, people.

  BF