Posts by mostlydead

34

As a JW were You Told to Not Report or Be Silent about Child Abuse ?

by flipper in

as most of you know in 2002 barbara anderson and bill bowen were on the dateline program which revealed that child abuse victims had been theatened with disfellowshipping from the jehovah's witnesses for reporting child abuse to the police and authorities .

and this actually happened to many victims and their families for standing up in behalf of the safety of abused children !.

most here are aware of the out of court child abuse settlements the wt society made with 16 witness child abuse victims in 2007. a gag order was placed on victims so they would not speak of their experiences with the media.

mostlydead

chellechelle...I'm so sorry. This happened to my sister too. She was date raped, but because she was with a worldly man in an unsafe environment the elders dubbed it fornication and thusly reproved her, took away her privileges etc, etc. Even though she tried to fight the guy off. It took her 10 years to finally realize she'd been raped.

These men have a ridiculous amount of power in the minds of their flock. They add insult to injury with their ignorance and their directives from headquarters. I'm very sorry this happened to you, but it does sound as if you've sorted through what all happened and you know the issues you're dealing with. That's a good start. I hope that you'll be able to find whatever help you need to move toward healing. It's a long process, but as you say, dealing with it can effect your future peace and happiness. It's never too late to start.

50

Has your " Self Esteem " Improved After Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

it seems to be an issue that some have after leaving the witness cult because none of us were ever made to feel we were " good " enough or "valued " enough for what we were trying to accomplish in the cult.

growing up i had pounded into my head by my jw elder father what jesus said, " after doing all things remember you are good for nothing slaves , what we have done is what we ought to have done.

" then i thought to myself - " where's the joy in that ?

mostlydead

Self esteem not perfect, but much improved! Not without effort though. It's interesting how many of us have gone back to school when possible after leaving. Besides the opportunity to better one's financial situation, I think the really important thing about school is that it's stimulating and gets you interested in life again. When you're in the organization, your thought processes get so extremely narrow and confined. Why even bother being interested in your own life or what you're capable of or maybe even good at because all that should wait til the new system. That seems now to me like such an incredibly wasteful and ungrateful way to live, as if the day we're in at present is somehow worthless. Realizing that each day is precious and giving yourself permission to enjoy life right now is a very freeing experience.

26

Were you Raised by an " Elder " Father in the Witnesses ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

as i mentioned on another thread , it was very uncommon to ever get any commendation or recognition for any " good" accomplishments i ever did.

you know the jesus expression, " we are good for nothing slaves- what we have done is what we ought to have done.

" ridiculous.

mostlydead

Yes I was, by an emotionally ill, sexually abusive elder. He used God, the Bible and the Society's teachings to build a little fortress around the minds of my sisters and me. I managed to break the mind control of my father before I broke it with the WTS, but sometimes it's really hard to know which one did the most damage, because they're rather inextricably intertwined.

46

Did You ACTUALLY Believe That Jehovah Was Going To Answer Your Prayers?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i know many people, witnesses and nonjws that truly believe that if they prayed to god, he would hear their entreaty and perform some miracle and grant their wishes.. did you believe in the power of prayer?.

mostlydead

I did, absolutely. But as the issues that lead me to rethink this whole religion thing began to arise and I stopped praying, I realized it had no apparent impact on my day to day life. Sometimes good things happened and sometimes bad things happened which was just the same as when I did pray. And I found out, contrary to what I'd been taught, humans have a tremendous ability to make good things happen in their own lives and in the lives of others without having an external supernatural power source to draw on.

23

DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MYELODYSPLASTIC SYNDROME?

by Mary in

i just got some awful news.

my jw brother in law has been diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome.

needless to say, we are all extremely upset as it is a potentially life-threatening illness that can turn into leukemia.

mostlydead

I'm so sorry you and your family have to deal with this, Mary. One thing I know about you is that you're a fighter and I'm glad to hear from some of the other posts that this is fight that is possible to win. Although a warrior never turns her back on the battlefield, she can certainly get weary. I hope the support and positive thoughts that are being directed your way by all your friends here and elsewhere will provide some refreshment for you and help you get through this difficult time.

56

What is the average age of those who no longer believe?

by crapola in

i have been reading many posts today and some of you have mentioned your age and how long you have been away from the org.made me start wondering what the average age is for most on this site who no longer go along with the org.

it would be interesting to find out..

mostlydead

I'm 49, raised in, out at 44.

27

Growing up a Jehovah's Witness

by jwfacts in

growing up a jw makes a person unique, long after you leave.

even though i strongly disagree with much of what i was taught, i still am tainted by my upbringing in that i think a thought and then correct myself with what i now should think (or visa versa, think something and then remember what i once would have thought).. even now that i am far removed from watchtower thinking, i still feel somewhat of an alien from those around me.

though i am loved at work, i feel they laugh at me more than they laugh with me.. for some time now, i have been meaning to chronograph the concepts that a witness child is indocrinated with to show just how damaging an upbringing it is.

mostlydead

This is a very good summation of the experience of being raised in this group and now nearing 50 years old. "You'll never go to school/grow up/ get married/ have children/grow old/ die in this old system of things." Well, here we are, and save for having died (thankfully), all those things did indeed happen.

I think those of us that really did try to make this thing work and whose faith was developed around these concepts have a very difficult time becoming "regular" people. Getting out of it wreaks havoc with your core being and you just have to work really hard to keep facing reality and not fall back under the theocratic spell we grew up with.

You did a good job with this. It's well documented, in no way overly dramatic, but it captures the mindset especially of those of us who lived growing up in the shadow of 1975.

13

Welcome Mostly Dead

by cameo-d in

jw
friends

it seems that mostly dead just made her very first post on the board since joining on 7-17-2008.. mostly, welcome!

and i hope you can be revived here.. cameo-d.

mostlydead

Thanks everybody for the greetings!

My story…well, it's long and many parts of it are very difficult for me to talk about. The Reader's Digest version is this: I was raised in the "truth" but there was sexual abuse happening in the home by my father who was also an elder. I've experienced first hand the elder's "one witness" brush off. My father has somehow managed to escape congregational and/or legal action at least 3 times now in the last 20 years. I waited on Jehovah for a long time, but finally I couldn't wait anymore. My faith started unraveling and I decided that I couldn't continue defending a God that would let children be spiritually damaged beyond repair, only to condemn them to eternal death for not being able to wrap their minds around worshipping him.

So that was my decision, to stop defending him and allow myself to see what I see and know what I know. Of course, I spent the next few years being a corpse in waiting. I'd been told all my life that I'd live forever and I knew that was never going to happen now. Eventually, I came to terms with Armageddon and my own mortality, realized that there were some things more important than my own neck and went back to school to receive my "bullet in the head" the hardest and best thing I've ever done in my life! Last summer, I found this site and all of you who have thought so many of the same things I've thought, and so much beyond that.

The thing I appreciate the most about this forum is being reminded of all the doctrinal changes over the course of the years. I'm astounded at how much I used to "know" but have dutifully forgotten to make way for "new light." I'm very grateful that there are so many who do remember and collectively present such a compelling body of evidence, complete with excellent documentation from the Society's own publications. I can't think of anything more necessary for a good reality check.

Anyway, as shamus100 says, life is good, and SacrificialLoon, it's nice to find another Miracle Max admirer! Thank you all very much for the warm welcome, and I look forward to talking to you in the forums.

13

Welcome Mostly Dead

by cameo-d in

jw
friends

it seems that mostly dead just made her very first post on the board since joining on 7-17-2008.. mostly, welcome!

and i hope you can be revived here.. cameo-d.

mostlydead

Thank you! It's much easier to post on this new site for a non-IE user, which accounts for the long time between joining and posting. That and my own hesitancy to do more than read. All the voices that make up this forum have helped me sort through the mess in my own mind and I really want to thank everybody for that.

It's one thing to take yourself physically away from the Kingdom Hall, quite another to go seek validation for your reasons for leaving. It took the better part of five years before I went looking for that, and this site was the first one I found. I don't think I could have found a better, funnier, more intelligent group of people than you all here. I'm glad to finally get to say hello!

110

A truly creepy 2007 public talk by Ciro Aulicino - You Will Be With Me in Paradise

by Tatiana in

i searched for this here and didn't find any posts about it.

i just found this while searching for info as i was debating a jw on another site.

this is the most mind-blowing, spaced-out, insane bunch of mess i've ever heard.

mostlydead

I wonder if this person gave one moment of thought to those in the audience, baptized or just interested visitors, who are gay. Real encouraging words for someone who is sincerely struggling to maintain a lifestyle that they feel pleases God. It must have never entered his pea-brain that such people do exist.