Good on you for having the honesty to say what you really think. Of course, as a JW, such honesty is unwelcome.
The years spent in the hamster wheel as JW, doing someone else's bidding at great personal cost...those are lost years. A sunk cost. There is no getting it back.
But you can make something out of it and profit from the experience, if you are open to the possibility.
Get as far away from the cult as circumstances will allow. Raise your children, and be happy. Let the experience as a JW impart a sense of value for free-thinking, rationality, and honesty in your life. Because I've seen life minus those things, and frankly, it sucks.
This 'virus' that has ruined my family for a few generations...it ends with me. It goes no further. Because I decided it to be so. I love my kids too much.
You can make the same decision for yours. Love them enough to protect them from the naked awfulness of a JW childhood.