hybridous

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Posts by hybridous

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  35

  How do you deal with people who do not like you?

  by usualusername1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guysin the last year i have started to socialise a lot more.

  namely comedy and a tennis social club.. for a variety of reasons i find socialising tough.

  in my tennis club a couple of women have been extremely rude to me and i have blocked one from my phone and refuse to speak to both.. is my behaviour extreme?paul.

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  hybridous

  Used to really bother me when I knew someone didn't like me...
  
  Of course, it did - I had no integrated and independent sense of 'self'.
  
  All there was, was what others thought. Of course, I was a born-in JW. I was conditioned to seek approval at all costs.
  
  I became more jaded with time. I saw that the others I was seeking approval from were full of flaws, themselves.
  
  I experienced that they could be dishonest, prejudicial, hypocritical, cowardly...
  
  After some time stewing in my disappointment over what others were not, I lowered my expectations.
  
  
  
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  40

  This probably sounds uppity. I'm saying it anyhow

  by stillin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anybody else noticed a pattern that is here among us outcasts?

  there seems to be, on average, a higher level of intelligence here than there is at the kingdom hall.

  actually, intelligent conversation seems to be looked down upon among the witnesses.. also, the simple language skills found here seem to be above average compared to those among the witnesses.

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  hybridous

  “The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”
  
  Emerson(?), Holmes(??)
  
  Doesn't matter who said it - it's true...
  
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  26

  The laziness of JW parents....

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it struck me that the society has created a culture of lazy jw parenting.. rather than parents being there to guide and direct and help their children through all stages of life, the gb / society has become the "go-too" for everything.. if the child has an issue, there is a wt article for that.. does the child need help with something else?

  ah, there is a caleb and sophia cartoon for that.. what about that other topic?

  ah, there is a book for that.. so rather than being present parents, the average jw parent simply outsources their parenting to the organization!

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  hybridous

  I liked tor's comment, because I remember my parents being exasperated, and taking their frustrations out on me/us.
  
  But as I've grown older, I've learned that much...MUCH of their exasperation was beyond that which is simply part-and-parcel to parenting itself, and instead was selected for, due to their devotion to the JW religion.
  
  In other words, the JW religion made all things harder, no things easier, all things worse, and no things better, and they bore their share of that burden as parents...which is only fair, since we bore the rest as children.
  
  I have found that the alternative to the cultish imbalance of the JW lifestyle doesn't have to a different imbalance in another direction. There is actually much room and many opportunities to strike a working balance between partaking of the childhood activities forbidden to us by the JW religion, and spending time at home, helping out with homework, playing games, and connecting in meaningful ways through thoughtful conversation.
  
  The JW religion steals so much time and effort. that upon exiting that religion, for the first time in my life, I found myself with a wealth of both (and absolutely no judgement as to where to spend those, but that's a story for another day).
  
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  26

  The laziness of JW parents....

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it struck me that the society has created a culture of lazy jw parenting.. rather than parents being there to guide and direct and help their children through all stages of life, the gb / society has become the "go-too" for everything.. if the child has an issue, there is a wt article for that.. does the child need help with something else?

  ah, there is a caleb and sophia cartoon for that.. what about that other topic?

  ah, there is a book for that.. so rather than being present parents, the average jw parent simply outsources their parenting to the organization!

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  hybridous

  Good thread.
  
  I remember this well. For whichever problem(s) I had, mom was there to hand me a Watchtower about it.
  
  I quickly learned that this would be the only 'help' I could expect to receive.
  
  Mom stopped hearing about my problems - and it wasn't because I didn't have any...
  
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  19

  Has Politics Changed How You View Your Entertainment?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i watch a tv show or movie or even a ball game, i don’t want to be deluged with matters involving politics.

  entertainers and sports heros should stick to doing what people pay them for.

  entertain us and just do your job!.

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  hybridous

  Both of these shows were heavy handed with propaganda for one side of the political argument. Both shows are well done, but ease up guys.

  Isn't that interesting? In my case, once I detect that a political narrative has become the element driving the story, I absolutely lose interest. I no longer care about the characters, because they're not important enough to the writers - so why should I (as the viewer) maintain interest?
  
  

  I can palate political argument in entertainment, as long as it remains peripheral, and doesn't cause the whole thing to lose thing to lose essential authenticity. Once I figure out I'm being preached to (preached AT?!), I'm OUT.
  
  Remember Tom Hanks in 'Philadelphia?. Obviously a politically charged story, but I found it compelling because the character of Andrew Beckett wasn't shortchanged or dismissed to make about a movie about gay rights. It was about a man in tragic circumstances, battling illness and trying to win his justice. See the difference? That's why it works as a movie IMO. I didn't have to be preached to, to find sympathy for Andrew Beckett. The telling of the story naturally elicited it.
  
  I suspect that if 'Philadelphia' were remade circa 2018, not even the magic and skill of Tom Hanks could render it remotely watchable.
  
  So tired of entertainers disrespecting the audience.
  
  Don't even let me get started on 'Star Wars'...
  
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  14

  Raising children - thoughts

  by CovertsadJW in

  1. social
  2. family

  just some thoughts for today - let me know what you think.

  i grew up in the jw faith / cult - .

  i can’t prove i am a better person because of it , but in some ways i can prove how it has damaged me.

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  hybridous

  Great topic! Same born-in situation, here...
  
  

  The JW childhood never taught me to be and do good, for its own sake. Instead, I learned to temporarily fake the appearances of such on an as-needed basis. Usually meaning long-enough to get some adult off my back...
  
  
  
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  40

  What would you say?

  by Freedom rocks in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  if you had 2 minutes with an old witness friend or with a family member to convince them the 'truth' is a lie and the gb isnt being directed by god what would you say to get their attention that might make them question their beliefs?.

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  hybridous

  Hmm, I don't know. Nothing I've said has made a dent, so far...
  
  I don't think there are magic words to get the result we want.
  
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  49

  When Will Jehovah`s Witnesses Appoint A Woman As A Governing Body Member.? It`s Long Overdue !

  by smiddy3 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  jehovah himself gives the saying "the women telling the good news are a large army" psalms 68 : 11 coupled with the fact that a good portion of women partake of the emblems and wine at the annual memorial celebration.. identifying themselves as part of the 144000 that are taken from the earth to rule with christ jesus in the heavens.. isn`t it about time they were recognized for their contributions and given the fact that gods word the bible clearly states that 144,000 of anointed are to be taken from the earth which many women are a large part of.?.

  revelation ch.14 :4 could be argued that they are not lesbians { "these are the ones who do not defile themselves with women ,in fact they are virgins, etc,etc.}.

  i wonder just how many men who claim to be of the anointed have not defiled themselves with women and are virgins.?.

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  hybridous

  A woman appointed to the GB of JWs would represent a wholesale change of JW/fundie philosophy, as Morpheus says.
  
  Given where they currently are now, a woman on the GB would only occur far, FAR down the line. I wonder if the religion could even survive if it started making changes like that...
  
  If there was a narrative present in the religion that bodes towards the 'progressive' (I don't think there is, but let's pretend), we would see signs of it in small ways, at first.
  
  For instance, you might see 'New Light' that allows well-regarded women in the congregation to serve as 'Deacons' or Ministerial Servants. You might see a softening of the 'teaching' role at the Kingdom Halls, whereby women would give sermons or lectures.
  
  These would be the baby-steps down the path. I would welcome seeing them, not for their own sake, but because it would suggest that the religion is facing external pressures and internal crisis which are often the only real sources of change for this cult.
  
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  28

  What was your trigger to waking up ?

  by CovertsadJW in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  good afternoon , .

  i wanted to ask everyone here , what was your trigger to waking up ?

  i have been waking up for a long time , but in looking back it’s hard for me to look at one event and say “ ah ha “ , i think mine is like a slow leak - like a crack in a damn - and then hold on , because after that it’s just a flood of information.

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  hybridous

  I remember being about 11 or 12 years old.
  
  Feeling privileged to go back to the 2nd. School, on a meeting night. Just to get a change of scenery. I felt as though my entire life revolved around that Kingdom Hall (it did!).
  
  I was miserable.
  
  I could not visualize myself in this hamster wheel for my adult life.
  
  I was so miserable, I didn't even care if it was 'The Truth' or not. I would not spend my days doing this crap to make other people happy.
  
  Funny how 'The Truth' consisted of a bunch of bullshit answers to life weightiest questions - that no one was allowed to scrutinize or dispute...that didn't pass the smell test for me, even at 11 years old.
  
  No conversation. No 'give-and-take'. It was all ME giving and this 'religion' taking.
  
  Screw that. I can't help but pity those who actually feel fulfilled by this 'religion'.
  
  Something tells me, the true number of those are substantially less than what's advertised.
  
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  63

  Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

  by Xanthippe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

  now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

  we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

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  hybridous

  Hmm, very tough spot. I could make a case either way...
  
  If you still feel bound by the 'do-unto-others' moral code, then maybe you make contact. Not because of any hope of reciprocity, but just because you have identified it as the right course of action - not needing a bunch of JWs to validate that course of action for you.
  
  On the other hand, if your relatives have spend many years providing you with empirical evidence that they do not want contact with you, then it might make sense to acknowledge that very plain evidence.
  
  Of course, an acknowledgement of your sisters dire health problems is not necessarily a restoration of your relationship, so you need not treat it as such if you decide to text.
  
  I struggle with this stuff a lot, so I am interested in what others have to offer regarding this.